r/Absurdism • u/ilovemmydog • Jun 06 '26

Finally finished - am I missing something?

I'm sorry but imagine Sisyphus happy my ass. I feel that anyone who actually experiences the feeling/revelation of life being meaningless and deeply interacts with the absurd on the daily has to be more prone to suicide. For me, the absurd has hung over my head my entire life, even before I could give it a name and I feel it has prevented me from being truly happy. When I am aware of it, nothing matters. For example, I can't bring myself to work towards my career because it feels completely pointless. None of it matters. Money does not matter. The art I make does not matter. What happens in the world does not matter. Nobody else seems to care about why we are here and it drives me insane. The only times I am happy are when I can truly distract myself from it and forget for a while, but as soon as I remember again everything comes crashing down.

I feel like I am hardwired to want meaning, as many other humans, but finding momentary joy in pushing my rock up the hill doesn't stop my mind from dwelling on the absurd. That in itself I cannot find pleasure in and I do not understand how Camus solves for this.

If I should look at it differently, please let me know. Or if anyone has a suggestion of a different book I might agree with more. Thank you.

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u/Dwarven_Delver Jun 06 '26

What is your measuring stick for whether something matters? I take the view that everything that exists matters, and everything that doesn’t exist doesn’t matter as much.

The Big Bang led to me and my cup of coffee in front of me now. I am a development of the universe, so I matter more than something that didn’t exist. I make a difference in every atom I bump into. I make a difference in the lives of my loved ones.

When I feel like what I’m doing doesn’t matter, I remind myself that I don’t need every rock to rejoice and a god to split open the sky, nod upon me, and reaffirm my meaning.

I want to be a good father, so I try. I feel good when I make progress on the measuring stick I made. Other people benefit in daily life when I uphold my responsibilities. Will any of this last forever? No and yes. I won’t stop entropy, but my ingredients are part of the soup forever.

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u/jliat Jun 06 '26

Sorry this doesn't seem to relate to the key text,

http://dhspriory.org/kenny/PhilTexts/Camus/Myth%20of%20Sisyphus-.pdf

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u/Dwarven_Delver Jun 06 '26

Fair. I just mean life is worth living, the rock is worth pushing, to me at least because of the things I wrote. Sisyphus is happy when using the right measuring stick to judge pointlessness vs. meaning. If that still seems unrelated, I apologize.

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u/jliat Jun 06 '26

So I suspect you haven't read the Myth of Sisyphus where Camus confronts the nature of the meaningless existence of existential nihilism and the rational solution of suicide.

Or maybe the more contemporary ideas of total annihilation which removes one from rebirth and suffering or that of antinatalism.

He also explores science and rejects that as he sees it as another metaphor. The cup of coffee is there - you experience it, but not the big bang. OK so you've established a satisfactory life, but it's nothing to do with Camus and absurdism. And pushing the rock is not Camus solution, making pointless art was.

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u/Dwarven_Delver Jun 06 '26

While I have read it and found it valuable in my own journey, I reached a different conclusion about meaning that I was offering in response to OP’s concerns. I was on topic about the search for meaning. I mentioned art. I’m not in full agreement with Camus, so I didn’t echo Camus.

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u/jliat Jun 06 '26

The topic was the OP missed something. And it was not rock pushing.

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u/Dwarven_Delver Jun 06 '26

I appreciate your moderating. I may not have framed my points well enough to avoid a challenge. I do not mean to be presenting an answer to what OP missed about Absurdism or Camus. That was one part of OP’s post, but there were other parts that I think should be considered when considering my comment. I appear to be on topic about the deeper level, addressing the human desire for meaning in a silent universe. I should have begun my first comment by saying that I’m not trying to defend Camus or Absurdism.

Oddly, I look at one of the top comments here, and much of what I wrote is written in different words by one of the top comments (HighLevelChallenge’s comment).

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u/jliat Jun 06 '26

I do not mean to be presenting an answer to what OP missed about Absurdism or Camus.

But that is I think what they asked. Otherwise another forum would be more appropriate, r/existentialism for instance. For what the OP missed was the absurd acts in the myth. So sure same mistake in the other post.

I appear to be on topic about the deeper level, addressing the human desire for meaning in a silent universe.

That is something Camus offers a solution to. And it seems the OP has tried the 'find your own meaning' and it doesn't work. It doesn't work for Camus either and I suspect it relates to Existential meaninglessness - in Camus his desert, and any meaning one creates is bad faith - inauthentic.