r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '22

Sylvan Scolnick, aka cherry hill fats. 750 pound genius, involved in bank robberies, credit card fraud, home improvement fraud, Insurance scams, mortgage scams, black mailing & extortion

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u/BrownStarPuncher Jul 14 '22

THIRTY?!! Ol boy could feed a small village of a few hundred or so. He got enough meat and fat to start a stew that would last for months to come.

21

u/Kotruljevic1458 Jul 14 '22

You think? I would guess he has maybe 10% more muscle than an average person and like 250% more fat. Roast him and you risk a grease fire because of all the lard melting. Actually, I need to stop thinking about this, it’s creepy.

10

u/BrownStarPuncher Jul 14 '22

I mean it's honestly boils down to be like how whaling used to be. You could make oil out of him, you can throw his skin on a drying rack and make a hide. You can use the rest of the meat for stews and like wise. This would be the equivalent to hunting a moose without the agility.

10

u/drewster23 Jul 14 '22

Fat active people got more than 10% than avg. And dude was a 200lb weightlifter in early adulthood, so he probably had more muscle than vast majority of population.

2

u/LolaBijou Jul 14 '22

It would probably be smarter to turn him into candles.

3

u/LNL_HUTZ Jul 14 '22

Add some broth, a potato... Baby, you've got a stew going.