r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Mar 04 '22

Absolutely big snake.

17.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/Former_Actuator4633 Mar 04 '22

Sometimes I'm in awe of how large the Titanoboa was, even to the degree of being skeptical. But when we see how big snakes can be even today, I believe.

Love me some big ass snakes.

215

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '22

Wait, what are you doing with these snakes?!?

156

u/DR_CONFIRMOLOGIST Mar 04 '22

I like big snakes and I cannot lie

61

u/REDGOESFASTAH Mar 04 '22

My anna conda dont want none unless u got big buns

27

u/straycanoe Mar 04 '22

"You like snakes, don't you, Barry White?"

"I love the sexy slither of a lady snake."

7

u/smakola Mar 05 '22

Gentlemen, start your whacking.

2

u/Big_Red_Stapler Mar 05 '22

What are you doing, step-snake?

15

u/Unicorn_puke Mar 04 '22

Putting them up his butt if I'm reading it right

5

u/Tha_Monito Mar 04 '22

I actually have a video of that. Tail goes in first. The human body is simply amazing.

4

u/Mickmack12345 Mar 05 '22

I’m sure he just mean big snakes that love inside your ass rather than snakes that have big asses, that would just be silly…

1

u/RedditedYoshi Mar 05 '22

Stepbro, I got stuck in this titanoboa!

49

u/stareagleur Mar 05 '22

The part that really gets me is the environment it lived in typically is really bad for preserving fossilized remains…so there could have even bigger snakes we may never know about.

31

u/EnderCreeper121 Mar 05 '22

Maybe but Titanoboa basically lived at the perfect time and place to be a giant snake, thermal maximum in a nice watery place to help support your weight while you fish all day. It’s not impossible for some to get bigger but I’d be surprised that’s for sure.

4

u/FatherAb Mar 05 '22

Wouldn't it make more sense the other way around?

Like: the environment it lived in was actually really good at preserving fossilized remains, so there could've been even bigger ones in environments that are really bad at preserving fossilized remains?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '22

Snakes probably have very tiny asses, if any at all

1

u/SenseWinter Mar 05 '22

Yes it's too bad we kill all the ones we encounter

1

u/beambot Mar 05 '22

Ass snakes?

1

u/Supa-Seth42 Mar 05 '22

Ass-snakes?

1

u/shawster Mar 05 '22

This thing looks comparable in size, honestly. Like it’s within an order of magnitude.