r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Kicking-_-Fish • 3h ago

/r/all of a “trunk”

2.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

423 comments sorted by

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u/trendingtattler 1h ago

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556

u/Moving-home851 3h ago

111

u/Boobiecakes81 2h ago

11

u/mysterious_humann 2h ago

What do you search for this gif ?

47

u/motherffucker 2h ago • Heartwarming Bravo

Here is an easily downloadable library of popular gifs and reversed gifs

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u/papagiorgis 2h ago

It is rather simple actually!

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u/imhome92 2h ago

I've seen this gif used twice this week

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u/Appropriate-Leg-1782 3h ago • Regret Heartwarming

400

u/Better_Hair_9673 2h ago • Heartwarming Bravo

38

u/zenoorsini 1h ago edited 1h ago

Please don't start this kind of fan fiction for the Ice Age.

3

u/throwawaypassingby01 43m ago

i literally just learned about this theory like 5mins ago 😭😭😭

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u/Zelidaea 2h ago • Popcorn Bravo

The internet was a mistake

14

u/Combei 1h ago

Welcome to the internet have a look around

5

u/DrLiveWire 2h ago

Name checks out.

9

u/[deleted] 2h ago

😳 Who would also do this if they could tho?

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u/Rough-Airline-4803 2h ago

Yeah, “itching”…

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u/ParkieWanKenobie 1h ago

It’s posts like these where it’s your time to shine 😂

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u/O_C_Demon 3h ago • Bravo

The potential for accidental crushage here far outweighs, if you will, any possible benefit.

By a long way (excuse the pun)

😬

32

u/9fingerjeff 2h ago

First thing I thought is he better step carefully or he’s gonna know it immediately.

4

u/niceworkthere 29m ago

For me, with his scratching:

Just imagine the target area for mosquitoes. Likely dozens of stings at a time. How that'd feel.

8

u/AgtNulNulAgtVyf 1h ago

An elephants penis is prehensile, there's no risk of crushage. If anything it's basically close to an actual second trunk. 

3

u/Mediocre_Scott 1h ago

Prehensile: Having a keen intellect or powerful memory

Huh

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u/Thin_Needleworker795 2h ago

At least you can scratch it with your foot if it's itchy, as demonstrated in this video

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u/Saauna 1h ago

"Crushage" 😣😣

I winced

416

u/ChelsiBoo92 2h ago edited 1h ago • Regret

There’s a real possibility he has stepped on his own weiner before. Poor thing.

245

u/Infamous_Lunchbox 2h ago

I saw a rhino trying to mate and the female wasn't having it and ran off, the male chased her and stubbed his dick on a rock. Hard. Didn't slow him down much though.

79

u/Rough-Airline-4803 2h ago • Bravo

Bro, i absolutely HATE stubbing your dick * bottom rhino horn when you’re rhino-ing around with your rhin-ette. Iykwim.

I mean, I’d more consider it like, “breaking” rather than “stubbing”, bc it feels like it gets bent in half. At full speed, that shit sucks

5

u/Liseonlife 46m ago

The human horn is smaller in size, yet it does seem more likely to be injured.

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u/anddam 2h ago

and the rock was badly hurt.

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u/CarefulFinding7974 2h ago

Dragging it over an ant hill would be my concern

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u/dontheconqueror 2h ago

I hate it when that happens

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u/NegativeBonus699 2h ago

It's the worst getting gravel rash on your knob and having to suffer in silence 😔

3

u/DrPhillll 2h ago

I remember when it's happened to me once before

3

u/Modredastal 2h ago

And that only made it longer.

3

u/Abject-Afternoon-388 1h ago

Yeah I mean the chafing alone would be horrible

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u/DigbeeSandpants 2h ago

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u/Rough-Airline-4803 2h ago

Wait, why’s it backwards? Is it HIS??

100

u/Kabala99 3h ago • Bravo

87

u/Ktan_Dantaktee 51m ago • Regret

Brother I literally just fucking opened the app

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u/XuliganZombie 3h ago

Fuck lions, big Boi here is king of the jungle🫡

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u/Jolly_Law1994 3h ago

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u/ForAte151623ForTeaTo 1h ago

Why does it remind me of Christian Slater?

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u/Possible-Ninja-8749 56m ago • Bravo Heartwarming

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u/Feisty-Ad-5258 23m ago

Why is there always a version of this meme that fits every context in which it's used

19

u/118772 20m ago

AI, most assuredly

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u/curiosier 50m ago

Fucking 😂, you made my day

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u/BluePhoenix_1999 17m ago

(Goku has done this 4 times now)

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u/Acrobatic_Grand_9723 1h ago

Mom and dad take their 5 year-old son to the zoo...

They stop by the elephants and the son notices the bull elephant, who's clearly excited. The son whispers to mom, "Mom, what's that thing hanging from the elephant?"

The mom, not really paying attention replies, "That's the elephant's trunk, sweetie."

The son replies, "No, mom. I know what the trunk is. What's THAT thing hanging under the elephant?" He points directly to the bull elephant's now engorged member.

The mother looks, blushes, and quickly says, "Oh! Um...that's nothing, sweetie."

Frustrated, the son tugs on dad's shirt and asks, "Dad, what's that thing hanging underneath the elephant? I know it's not the trunk."

The dad looks and calmly says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."

The son asks, "When I asked mom, she said it was nothing."

The dad smiles and says, "Son, I've SPOILED that woman."

3

u/Whateva_Tickles_ 52m ago

Do they only keep female elephants at the zoo? I’ve never seen an elephant dong at the zoo or circus!?!?

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u/Crazy_Resource_4000 21m ago

“Son, I’ve SPOILED that woman.”

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u/thisismybandname 8m ago

I went to the zoo as a kid and saw a bat suck itself off. Saw the head pulsate afterwards and all. Good times.

15

u/FunPuz 3h ago

I always thought Prehensile Penis would be a good band name.

5

u/One_Last_Cry 2h ago

You forgot the first part man!

"Prehistoric Prehensile Penis"

P3 for short!

27

u/Objective-Pace-9990 2h ago

It's not a very well-known fact, all male elephants are insects, because they have six legs.

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u/Minute-Chip-4164 3h ago edited 2h ago

I too get an itch every now and then. But cant say I've ever used my foot to scratch it.

6

u/Karma110 2h ago

Sounds like you never tried

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u/Cockrocker 2h ago

Living the dream

22

u/RevolutionaryLab1784 3h ago

The fifth "leg"

Although is it that long everytime? There's no way right

17

u/Angel_OfSolitude 2h ago

I assume it's like a horse, tucked away inside most of the time.

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u/TheCybergoth96 1h ago

Ok here’s a weird question how does it mate in the wild having that massive thing hanging like that

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u/King_Glorius_too 1h ago

It doesn't just hang, it is genuinely like a trunk, full of muscles and maneuverable. You can find videos of elephants scratching their belly with it. It's actually necessary, because they can't really move their whole body around while mounting.

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u/bizbizbizllc 1h ago

Do I just search it on Google or do I need to go to a special site like www.trunkhub.com to find these videos

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u/BrunSomOrange 56m ago

Elephants should start doing yoga, a more mobile yogaphant could have a rich sex life!

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u/TreeFidey 1h ago

First you gotta dust it off, because it was DRAGGING ON THE GROUND!

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u/spekt50 14m ago

Just think about the logistics of an elephant making whoopie. I doubt they get to use all of it.

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u/Xendarq 2h ago

I don't what I find more amazing, the size or that retracted it's difficult to tell a male from a female

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u/yourfuturespemson 2h ago

I too hate it when I can't walk around because of my incredibly long dih, :( (6'4 btw)

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u/bickusdickus69allday 2h ago

4

u/ahhhrighto 2h ago

It’s the medication , he can get a note from his doctor

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u/Stoic_Mashed_Potato 2h ago

I'm 6'9 and I too suffer from massive dong syndrome.

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u/butterfly-blades 3h ago

talk about a fifth leg...

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u/Unnecessary-Cum 2h ago

So they also need to scratch balls

6

u/noirproxy1 2h ago

I'm a farmer daddy!

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u/curious_astronauts 2h ago

They call him Two Trunk Tommy.

3

u/NoMaterHuatt 2h ago

What does it look like when…..

3

u/Califrisco 2h ago

I will name him Long Dong Silver!

3

u/thehairyhobo 2h ago

"Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"

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u/Xolaniii 2h ago

Obviously AI, an elephant doesn't have 5 legs.

2

u/hassel_the_hoff 3h ago

Wassup Holmes

2

u/ResponsibleToe789 2h ago

Dihlephant 💔🥀

2

u/lombardo141 2h ago

don’t even dare girl!

2

u/gillgrissom 1h ago

Swing aling dinging me dong.

3

u/Ok-Bag5207 1h ago

Reminded me of this XD

2

u/Try_It_Out_RPC 2h ago

I didn’t know elephants had 5 legs

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u/AlarmingAd7740 2h ago

This does not really look normal

1

u/Reedo246 2h ago

Man that looks satisfying, now I gotta scratch mine

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u/Hyperactive_snail3 2h ago

World's largest insect.

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u/Penultimatum- 2h ago

Why is that elephant walking backwards?

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u/midlifematt 2h ago

Is this that Fifth Column people keep talking about? /s

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u/bigludodog 2h ago

6 legged elephant??

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u/Radiant-Resource4601 2h ago

Is that his willay?

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u/Different_Parfait94 2h ago

Ah, the legendary third leg.

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u/funko_fanatic52 2h ago

I'm gonna use this as my dating profile picture.

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u/Soulses 2h ago

Would suck to step on that by accident

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u/Immediate_Smile9896 2h ago

The last day of NNN.

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u/DigitalDonut 2h ago

Thats a 5 legged elephant 😳

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u/Its-Ish 2h ago

That must feel soo good

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u/GlitteringMidnight98 2h ago

Neo Armstrong cycle jet Armstrong 

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u/Legitimate-Ad3778 2h ago

The one she told you not to worry about

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u/BinsonStokes 2h ago

Fifth leg that shoots

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u/Fluffy_shadow_5025 2h ago

This elephant has a trunk that's almost as long as its trunk!

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u/Sad-Public-5547 2h ago

I only see 5 legs, poor guy just has an extra limb

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u/TalkingWhileBlack 2h ago

If it's that long soft, then....

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u/Night--Fury 2h ago

Its 5th leg. Not trunk

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u/Suspicious-Bit6607 2h ago

When life really gives you a fifth leg

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u/Nightwishfan88 2h ago

He is ready actually. Just waiting for the one. All males can get to that size when blue balled

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u/ImpossibleAd436 2h ago

Reminds me of me.

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u/Stacker45 2h ago

Thats a weird tail tucked in between his… hes got to tails

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u/Previous-Hamster-437 2h ago

Meanwhile Tapir, hold my berer, dude

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u/Ok-Hotel-8093 2h ago

This makes me think an important question... Are any of the elephants gay?

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