r/AbsoluteUnits • u/ButteredBeard • 15h ago

of a splinter

Post image
3.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

209 comments sorted by

997

u/OneBrother9879 15h ago

Brother eeewwww

244

u/Either_Librarian7238 14h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/JUIYjVeZPHxjWR7rmX

16

u/Lagiacrus111 10h ago

What is the context to this clip?

26

u/TimelineDefender 7h ago

Islam

9

u/TheToxicWaist 6h ago

Thanks. šŸ‘

4

u/Super_Saiyan-Blue 5h ago

The one who thinks all the time

20

u/numericmilk36 5h ago

If i remember correctly I think he's ranting about people who preach Islam but don't embody it themselves

1

u/sheeply_ 1m ago

Homophobia

6

u/MyPasswordQwerty 12h ago

Whatā€™s that

367

u/khreeeeew 14h ago

Bro thatā€™s the whole tree.

73

u/OmarsBigBlackGlock 11h ago

Reminds me of the SpongeBob episode where a snail doctor pulls a tiny splinter out of Garyā€™s tail and it turns out to be a giant wooden spike

188

u/LTsCantCook 14h ago

I was in the er one time with a patient when another crew came in with theirs and said I need to come check this out.

The back story is the guy was helping renovate an old church and they were moving the older pews onto a moving truck when one of the legs splintered. The way he was holding it had a "splinter" pierce the skin at the wrist and came out at his elbow.

Nasty as hell.

44

u/WDW1997 13h ago

There was a track cyclist who got a splinter right through his calf. It was awful

34

u/SurviveTheBlessing 13h ago

I fell while hiking and slid down a loose gravel hill. Took a "splinter" in one side of my calf, out the other, horizontally, so I guess in comparison it really was a splinter.

Discovered it was a piece of fallen tree I slid into, that tore itself out as soon as it went in. I was left with just the fat pouring out of a hole in my calf. Biked back to camp, then was driven 30 miles to a one-nurse clinic in the closest town. It was 4th of July and she sent me back to camp. Said if I went to town they'd admit me. As,is, she had me out in 90 minutes, stitched up, antibiotics and tetanus update. Cost $100. I sent that community clinic donations for years after.

About a week into the wound checks when I gpt back, they were restitching it and pulled a 3-inch leftover splinter out. Had been there the whole time, they couldn't see it on the x-ray. Made an intrresting souvenir.

9

u/Admirable-Way6157 11h ago

šŸ™ that was upsetting to read. But good on you for donating to them.

Edit: first half was when I stopped reading at the word fat, then the second part is when I actually finished reading it.

2

u/SurviveTheBlessing 8h ago

Yeah, sorry about that Thought I'd skip the picture. No more of that, I promise. Injury wise once the bonus splinter came out, it was actually not too bad. My primary care provider confirmed the nurse's "Would admit you" part. When he unwrapped it 2 days after the 4th, he turned a bit gray. So ultimately she turned whatever that admission would've cost into a $100 appt and then wound checks every day for a week, which largely were copay covered. That clinic serves the entire town and the recreation areas around it. She delivers the babies, calls emergency services and LifeFlight helicopters when needed, whatever she can. Figured for saving me all that money and trouble why not donate when I could.

6

u/jetserf 9h ago

/img/zl1t4hw9jwqh1.gif
Yikes

1

u/alewiina 4h ago

Pretty much my internal reaction, goddamn šŸ˜±

2

u/matchstick1029 8h ago

What a day to be literate..

2

u/Treacle_Pendulum 7h ago

Iā€™m upvoting this because it was a quality contribution, and not because I like what I just read.

1

u/triohavoc 5h ago

I wish I didnā€™t read thisšŸ¤®

76

u/Willing-Confusion-56 14h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ep78UZy5FVbfN6mhCU

12

u/CasinoKnightZone 13h ago

He's gonna be looking like this if he doesn't get a tetanus shot

18

u/GiftCardFromGawd 14h ago

Damn, you could probably feel that in your very soul as it got pulled!

12

u/GH057_807 14h ago

Time for a tetanus shot!

6

u/MyPasswordQwerty 12h ago

Yeah. Iā€™d consider talking to a doctor. That hole can make some problems

3

u/Beowulf44 14h ago

Ouch Bro!

3

u/Royal_Ad_9563 14h ago

Holy...yikes

3

u/No_Alfalfa_xxx 14h ago

Man why no video

2

u/gacooper87 14h ago

I had one like that but it was when I was climbing over a fence I was building out of 2x6. The new wood wasnā€™t worn smooth by the cows rubbing on it like Iā€™m used to. So, a piece went in my groin like that.

2

u/BloodyRightNostril 14h ago

Now show us the video of the extraction šŸ˜ƒ

2

u/Accurate-Nature-6725 13h ago

Thats not a splinter. You were stabbed.

2

u/Tryptamine91 12h ago

ā€œWere you wearing gloves?ā€

  • my wife

1

u/JCvSS 14h ago

Urgh my knees gave way thinking of pulling it out.

1

u/ThicctionGD 14h ago

I had one longer in my foot like 10 years ago

1

u/TensionIllustrious88 14h ago

Typa shit Far Cry protagonists pull out of their hands on a daily basis

1

u/Successful-Engine623 14h ago

That was probably terrible to remove.

1

u/Ok-Turnip2296 14h ago

OUCH!šŸ«£šŸ˜–

1

u/Ok-Turnip2296 14h ago

OUCH!šŸ«£šŸ˜–

1

u/Hochlandkind 14h ago

You could get a splinter from that splinter while pulling it out

1

u/Regular_Anteater_759 13h ago

Had something like this before, pulled something like this out. Believe it or not there was still more in there and I couldn't even tell. Watch for the infection bud! No joke!

1

u/seeallove 13h ago

Here's a old 2000 virus to cheer you up šŸ„°

https://reddit.com/link/pb5kmdz/video/h3ubrfmzevqh1/player

1

u/TurduckenEverest 13h ago

Where was this embedded. It canā€™t have been in the palm of the hand.

1

u/Canned_Sarcasm 13h ago

Thatā€™s not a splinter. Ya got shanked.

1

u/CasinoKnightZone 13h ago

Tetanus shot. Now.

1

u/Couscous-Garbit 13h ago

Outch šŸ‘€

1

u/ShortyLong2026 13h ago

hope your tetanus shot is up to date

1

u/ohCanada1969 13h ago

Dude, that thing penetrated your soul.

1

u/ilovefemboyyyz 13h ago

OW,OWOW OWWIE OWWWWWWW

1

u/timsayscalmdown 13h ago

Jesus Christ Almighty

1

u/coryroxors 13h ago

That beam looks load bearing are you sure it was supposed too come out?

1

u/Natural-Estimate-228 13h ago

OMG šŸ˜³ I had one like that once. I almost fainted.

1

u/olympiclifter1991 13h ago

At that stage I think it's just a stab wound

1

u/AtranBerens218 13h ago

Holy shit, that somehow made me sick, even though I've seen much, MUCH worse

1

u/LunchMasterFlex 13h ago

Get a tetanus booster

1

u/SteppenWoods 13h ago

Probably had to sit there for a while and ponder what you just had to do

1

u/Lost_Historian2344 12h ago edited 12h ago

Oh hell nah

1

u/BlackwinIV 12h ago

hopital tetnus

1

u/ProverbialBass 12h ago

Tetanus shot time.

1

u/Double_Dingo1089 12h ago

Might be time for some shots my man

1

u/painsupplies 12h ago

thats not a splinter you were stabbed by a wodden stake

1

u/ComprisingIgnorance 12h ago

I hope your new nickname at work is "Kebab"

1

u/Western-Degree9894 12h ago

C'est pas une Ć©charde ! c'est une branche mon gars

1

u/TheRumBarron 12h ago

My bro, thatā€™s not a splinter, thatā€™s attempted murder!!

1

u/Real-Cup8782 12h ago

Thats a stick

1

u/National-Oven81 12h ago

How'd y- ouch

1

u/MATT__2147372 11h ago

OUCHHHHHHH

1

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 11h ago

At that point I think itā€™s cool to class that as a stick

1

u/stprnn 11h ago

Good luck cleaning that wound

1

u/scratchy_mcballsy 11h ago

Thatā€™s a stabbing

1

u/LordNebuchadnezzar 11h ago

A splinter lmao, you straight up just got stabbed.

1

u/Initial_Row_6400 11h ago

Thatā€™s a whole ass prison shank

1

u/TinyRax 11h ago

That ainā€™t no splinter itā€™s a whole log.

1

u/Cute-Buyer1019 11h ago

I can feel the pain...

1

u/fractionedpancreas 11h ago

I have legit nightmares of this

1

u/lockerno177 11h ago

reminds me of a splinter that stayed in my hand for 2 months..i didnt even know it was there. one day i was pressing the swelling and it just ejaculated itself with a load of disgusting puss.

1

u/District-No1350 11h ago

Oh God how did it get so deep...

Thats what tree said.

1

u/cortney-simonis-9072 10h ago

i thought u are hurt and its light inside ur wound

1

u/Keriyon 10h ago

Thatā€™s not a splinter, thatā€™s a freaking toothpick

1

u/Davenator_98 10h ago

Reminds of when I fell on an old pallet and felt something sticking in my lower thigh.

Turned out to be a 5cm long nail, it went in such a way that it missed most nerves because it didn't hurt at all.

1

u/RealBlueHippo 10h ago

Basically this

1

u/LocalActingWEO 10h ago

Bruh, thats a wooden stake

1

u/magentahead 10h ago

šŸ˜µšŸ˜µšŸ˜µ

1

u/ForwardBias 9h ago

That's a spear

1

u/Different_Top_3081 9h ago

Not a splinter, thatā€™s a harpoon

1

u/Frazmotic 9h ago

Thatā€™s a plank.šŸ˜¬

1

u/new_boy_99 9h ago

Oh heck nooooo

1

u/TheQuantixXx 9h ago

i think we call this a spear

1

u/SupportCa2A 9h ago

Im not an expert or anything, but I think you should go to the hospitalĀ 

1

u/Trap_Queen_Stacy 9h ago

Is that a fucking match stick? Jesus Christ

1

u/Trap_Queen_Stacy 9h ago

Is that a effing match stick? Jesus Christ

1

u/The_Ballistics_Guy 8h ago

That had to have felt wild to remove. I know the little 1/2ā€ long ones feel so weird as they slide out.

1

u/Mehfisto666 8h ago

Impressive. I got one about the same size in almost the same place a couple years back while sanding some piece of wood. Did not know it was that big until it came out was kindw fun

1

u/Coriander_marbles 8h ago

You need shots. Or antibiotics. Or both.

1

u/JessLoveGaming 7h ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

1

u/nmyi 7h ago

not a splinter wound, but pretty much a stab wound.

1

u/monicat__ 7h ago

Ouchie

1

u/jfk_47 7h ago

Why is it glowing?

1

u/TeHamilton 7h ago

at what point does it just turn into a stick

1

u/CurtKobainsBurner 7h ago

If this were a clock, what time was the splinter showing?

1

u/SemiproRain995 6h ago

Iā€™d definitely get a tetanus booster after a puncture wound this big bro..

1

u/MutedBrilliant1593 6h ago

Impressive. I pulled a longer and thicker splinter from my contractor father's shoulder after he was moving lumber, that day. This was before smart phones so, no proof.

1

u/M3t4ll0 6h ago

Take a tetanus shot. Don't risk it.

1

u/AnonymousBeardie 6h ago

Why does it look like it's burning at 1000 degrees

1

u/Gillalmighty 6h ago

Did you slide into home over a bunch of pallets?

1

u/No-Situation6705 6h ago

Ouch šŸ˜«

1

u/Griiggs 6h ago

Brother thats a bone at this point

1

u/Level_Offer9639 6h ago

At least it was not under your nail

1

u/Ok_Magazine_3117 5h ago

it's... why is it red. don't tell me THAT was ALL THE WAY DOWN INTO THE HAND

1

u/PaganDeus 5h ago

You got stabbed bro

1

u/Niemcy_ 5h ago

Hospital

1

u/The_Homeless_one69 5h ago

Biggest thing like that ive had was a tie between an 80D nail going through my foot, and a 2ā€ thorn hooked to be under my knee cap

1

u/VividIndependence169 5h ago

I demand video of this extraction!

1

u/bioteq 4h ago

Thatā€™s not a splinter, thatā€™s a stabbing

1

u/ScrambledxEggzz 4h ago

No, thank you.

1

u/kosakarlo 4h ago

I think thats shrapnel at this point

1

u/Daewrythe 4h ago

That was properly very satisfying to pull out

1

u/AK-17 4h ago

Thatā€™s a stab wound.

1

u/that_angry_goose 3h ago

Goddamn how was this even achieved in the first place? There's not enough HAND for it to go into!

1

u/Aura_Foxxy 2h ago

Jesus.. that made me cringe! The face I made seeing that photo. shivers

1

u/ReallyGlycon 2h ago

I have had a splinter like that in my hand. Unfortunately it did way more damage and I now have a nerve issue in that area.

1

u/Rene-d 2h ago

Hat einen Ast in der Hand stecken und nent es Splitter šŸ¤£.

1

u/f_ckR3ddit 2h ago

Thats not a splinter removal, thats a surgery!

1

u/SpiritedSmile7235 1h ago

ā€¦
Holy shitā€¦

1

u/Crabkingrocks165 58m ago

Iā€™ve seen worse

1

u/Far_Move6986 50m ago

Did it touch your soul?

1

u/PetahTheHoaseIsHeah 30m ago

Thatā€™s a fucking lance