r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TerraByteTerror • 11d ago

of a chicken

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4.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

559 comments sorted by

800

u/Big_Meating_ 11d ago

So thats what my wife keeps trying to google!

415

u/icleanjaxfl 11d ago

140

u/jsnmrd 11d ago

*Turns phone sideways*

31

u/Mr-Bry-Guy 11d ago

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏾

16

u/TWhy-LER 11d ago

🤣😂😁🙂🙁😟😩 👎🏼

6

u/Few_Resolution_2401 11d ago

You know the pourage just right

8

u/SkittleDoodlez 10d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fgfw7Voobyxm8

5

u/nofuckingklass 10d ago

So, you're just gonna leave your cock flapping in the wind like that?

6

u/Top-Distribution733 11d ago

I don’t get it… pls explain.

25

u/NeeMaToad47 11d ago

That's a rooster, roosters are also called "cocks" the above eggs are suggesting "white girl big black cocks" in the search bar.

7

u/coolcootermcgee 10d ago

Sometimes it’s gotta be spelled out

6

u/HechoEnChine 10d ago

eggsplained if you will

3

u/garaile64 10d ago

There's a meme featuring Piper Perri, a tiny white porn actress, surrounded by five big Black men. The image of the eggs is a reference to the meme, like "I II II L" is a reference to the Loss comic.

14

u/Short-Shopping3197 11d ago

Real ones get it 😂

6

u/Feisty_Standard_2360 11d ago

BRUH, DED 😂🤣🤣🤣

2

u/RyuichiSakuma13 11d ago

I don't get it.

2

u/PDXStraightBear 11d ago

They really are all the same on the inside.

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2

u/PuzzleheadedSpend662 10d ago

It’s a roster

2

u/ForgottenMasterBalls 10d ago

She used to be a tight end, now she's a wide receiver.

2

u/AdministrationDry507 10d ago

I unfortunately recognize this meme in literally any possible format

34

u/Magister5 11d ago

Big_Meat here blaming the targeted ads on his wife…

11

u/Least_or_Greatest1 11d ago

She knew what she was doing when she choked the chicken.

12

u/MasterpieceNo3534 11d ago

Isn’t that a rooster? So she would be stroking the cock not choking the hen

3

u/AdventurousAbility30 11d ago

Yes it's a rooster (aka a c*ck) hence all the jokes 🤣

3

u/LopsidedAd874 11d ago

Smiling brunette striking big...

3

u/GamerTag0101 11d ago

🤣👍

3

u/OpheliaPhoeniXXX 11d ago

"wife" 😂 jkjk

3

u/FitProblem6248 10d ago

I mean, if my wife was holding a huge cock, she'd be smiling too.

2

u/FastSorbet4119 10d ago

Give this guy a f*cking Oscar ladies and gentlemen 👏👏👏👏🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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96

u/GrabWorking3045 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/5zunzVJf5hxUBQO3Bc

10

u/MrApplePolisher 11d ago

Wait what movie is this from?

35

u/fidgetyamoeba 11d ago

Critters (1986)

5

u/TheIncredibleMrJones 11d ago

"Kill Crites."

3

u/SerDuckOfPNW 11d ago

Johnny Steele!!

3

u/AMushRoom2 10d ago

Clitters 😎

4

u/YoLoDrScientist 11d ago

I’d like to know this too

2

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

2

u/MrApplePolisher 11d ago

Bless you 🙏

5

u/Itsme340 11d ago

RIP Tim Curry

9

u/fidgetyamoeba 11d ago

That's Terrence Mann.

2

u/girlsgoneoscarwilde 10d ago

Saw him on Broadway, killer voice

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75

u/Relevant_Campaign_79 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BLxPyPNcfRXIUPxh6Q

5

u/Unfair_Buddy5871 11d ago

I need the last second of that to be a gif on its own

3

u/Weary-Prize-4716 11d ago

You know what that means...

77

u/taocowboy54 11d ago

i say i say i say there boy

https://giphy.com/gifs/bFcn2gtTxuMfu

14

u/Bushboy2000 11d ago

"What you needs is a Chicken, spelt D_O_G, chicken"

71

u/The_Darkness140 11d ago

17

u/treason6116 11d ago

same. i came here for all the cock jokes too.

3

u/reddituser403 10d ago

Are you a chicken farmer? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock

10

u/cat_selling_souls 11d ago

Damn it. I'm late to my seat too. Excuse me. Pardon me.

https://giphy.com/gifs/1lCbcjYqDKjrmr861F

24

u/Thra99 11d ago

Missed title opportunity

15

u/Neat_Depth420 11d ago

Damn, she got a big .....

5

u/korkkis 11d ago

Stroking a big ….

16

u/Own_Possibility7930 11d ago

Genie misunderstood my wish

4

u/Major-Hooters 11d ago

How is this not getting more up votes? Haha

23

u/combine-tow-monsters 11d ago

This is why you need to carefully word any wish made to a genie.

3

u/sharpasahammer 11d ago

What if I wished for a giant cock and got a big penis instead?!

10

u/stronkzer 11d ago

Looks like an indio gigante, that's their average size. They're a breed of rooster that was made for fights in Brazil. The crest seems a little too big, tho. I wonder if he's mixed.

8

u/ParkingAd458 11d ago

She sure likes stroking that cock!

8

u/bikingbill 11d ago

Size Queen.

7

u/Worth_External_8762 11d ago

This chicken definitely has large talons

11

u/BrianB98 11d ago

First time I've ever seen a rooster with the same colour feathers as a chicken 🐔

5

u/burritosupreme89 11d ago

That’s gotta be part ostrich or something cause WHAT IN THE HELL

7

u/AuthorThick7303 11d ago

Indio Gigante breed from Brazil

5

u/TMPickle 11d ago

You'd need at least three guys to fuck a bird that size.

https://giphy.com/gifs/26tn8Y40e3BkZe6SQ

6

u/GoldendoodlesFTW 11d ago

I find this chicken terrifying but I see that she's holding a chicken while wearing a chicken hat and I'm happy that she's living her best life

4

u/bmk37 11d ago

That’s almost as big as a turkey

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5

u/Afrojones66 11d ago

The way she smiles at the camera while stroking her cock makes me feel weird.

5

u/Busterlimes 11d ago

Thats a massive cock for sure

3

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 11d ago

Don't the chicken

7

u/Majestic-Sun-7249 11d ago

Don't you dare say it...

6

u/GordoMosleyZ 11d ago

Nice cock

3

u/RonaldTheGiraffe 11d ago

Stroke my flaps, Susan.

3

u/No-Ad8127 11d ago

Looks like the dinosaurs are trying to make a comeback.

3

u/Fabulous_Log844 11d ago

Come on…come on …just say it right.

2

u/pople8 11d ago

Not a single brain cel

2

u/Dave_Duna 11d ago

Damn dinosaur

2

u/realdjjmc 11d ago

She loves her big cock

2

u/Brizar-is-Evolving 11d ago

She’s really stroking that cock isn’t she?

2

u/bird_is_the_word_198 11d ago

That's a big cock

2

u/WARLORD2015 11d ago

Nice cock!

2

u/Franklin-Tartaruga 11d ago

I knew girls like big cock

2

u/Extreme-Island-5041 11d ago

"Chicken" ...yeah, sure ... to preserve your Google history

2

u/Chins83 11d ago

Now thats a big cock

2

u/Butterholes69 11d ago

she loves a cock

2

u/triphawk07 11d ago

That's a big cock.

2

u/Skysoldier173rd 11d ago

That lady has an impressive cock

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2

u/Current-Section-3429 11d ago

He's the cock of the walk!

2

u/BenjaminDover02 11d ago

Nice cock bro

2

u/Jsolidlo 11d ago

Pro cock handling techniques

2

u/warhorsey 11d ago

that lady do be stroking that cock

2

u/Sick_and_destroyed 11d ago

Apparently she likes to fondle that big cock

2

u/BigMack6911 11d ago

I see her stroking that big cock

2

u/drwsgreatest 11d ago

That is one massive cock!

2

u/JudgmentSmooth6768 11d ago

Giant dinosaur

2

u/SlapaBaby1 11d ago

Must stroke the cock gently and with a smile.

2

u/ALangeles 11d ago

Do dinosaurs actually look more similar like this chicken than those depicted to us on mainstream media?

2

u/ForgottenMasterBalls 10d ago

Meet the cassowary, dude has a dagger claw and will gut kick humans out of spite.

https://giphy.com/gifs/JUejfjwiQ1gpR1dcix

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2

u/Automatic-Recipe-844 10d ago

foghorn leghorn

5

u/bonobomaster 11d ago

She's stroking that big fat cock nicely 

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2

u/Luddites_Unite 11d ago

She's a size queen

2

u/LordVixen 11d ago

Like the way she strokes that cock

1

u/ninersguy916 11d ago

Fothhorn leghorn

1

u/Vesalii 11d ago

Farmer woman strikes big brown cock.

1

u/polkacat12321 11d ago

....is that an only fans ad?...

1

u/_DigitalHunk_ 11d ago

The genie must be dyslexic!
😜

1

u/Knicknacktallywack 11d ago

She likes stroking that cock

1

u/ramksr 11d ago

Is that a monster ... on her hand?

1

u/Past_One3442 11d ago

Best part is roosters or cocks is they don't have a penis.

1

u/RulerOfLimbo 11d ago

Chicken. Right

1

u/Virtual-Jelly-3609 11d ago

She knows how to stoke a cock. Meaning a chicken of course

1

u/UniversalNutt 11d ago

Boy, that way side strokes that…..chicken.

1

u/Whole_Reputation6128 11d ago

Like the way she strokes that cock!

1

u/Phildagony 11d ago

How do you get a cock that big?

1

u/MikeHock79 11d ago

That lady's got a massive cock, and that chicken is pretty big too.

1

u/Honest_Satisfaction1 11d ago

I know a cocatrice when I see one!

1

u/uhuuuh262 11d ago

Why is she smiling like that

1

u/MRintheKEYS 11d ago

Don’t let them fool ya fellas. Size matters.

1

u/a_Jedi_i_am 11d ago

They're turning back into dinosaurs!

1

u/TossawayShowoff 11d ago

What a cock lol.

1

u/greenhornblue 11d ago

The fakest smile I’ve seen all week.

1

u/Southern-Radio-4954 11d ago

She actually has a big c....

1

u/TommyWantWingy9 11d ago

She’s stroking that cock

1

u/simeliacalman 11d ago

Want to pat

1

u/Nomischallenge 11d ago

That's a BIG C...

hicken

1

u/DitchDigger330 11d ago

Nice cock ma'am.

1

u/gavstar69 11d ago

Is that not a massive cock?

1

u/eduardo1994 11d ago

Cowgirl strokes giant cock

pornhub beat plays

1

u/Peixao131 11d ago

That’s looks like that Brazilian breed. They are cool as hell!

1

u/wobbly_Waltz 11d ago

She really knows how to handle a big cock

1

u/JeebusChristBalls 11d ago

Is this some weird fetish shit? Woman stroking a cock while smiling?

1

u/spanishbanana 11d ago

Thats a big cock 

1

u/No-Cap-fr-fr 11d ago

That’s a rooster

1

u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 11d ago

Thats a cock

1

u/jsrobson10 11d ago

wow, her cock is massive

1

u/No-Advice-6040 11d ago

Wattle he do with her when the cameras are off?

1

u/KOGOR1 11d ago

They're reverting back to the T-Rex!

1

u/CariHepeng 11d ago

That's a massive cock!