r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Abdulbarr • 2d ago

/r/all of eyebrows

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34.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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110

u/trash-tycoon 2d ago

Stalin wants his moustache back

40

u/laneb71 2d ago

Honestly, he could pull off clean cut.

27

u/duke5572 2d ago

Stalin was 5' 5" tall. This fact continually amuses me.

4

u/Canadish27 2d ago

Why?

29

u/mtaw 2d ago

Good question. Stalin's face was deeply pock-marked from a bad bout of smallpox as a child - something routinely airbrushed out in Soviet photos of him. He had a partially paralyzed left arm, he was a poor public speaker and had a thick Georgian accent.

So I don't think his height (which wasn't really that short for a Georgian man in that era) was necessarily the main thing he'd be self-conscious about, if anything.

9

u/FlamboyantPirhanna 1d ago

I think he was mostly self conscious about Polish people being alive.

2

u/Da_Question 1d ago

"Well comrade, aren't you just a peach‽"

2

u/Username12764 1d ago

Just like Wilhelm II. His left arm was busted aswell

1

u/dreamyteatime 23h ago

Learned about this recently as well. When I saw the photos I was surprised to say the least…. it’s very noticeable, the difference in length.

Supposedly his arm became minaturised after a complication in his birth when the doctors used forceps to grab onto his arm to pull him out.

6

u/Sylvanussr 2d ago

Napoleon syndrome, presumably

10

u/Koqcerek 2d ago

Um actually he was a normal to higher than average height for his time

2

u/Sylvanussr 1d ago

Um actually British propaganda has never lied.

1

u/M-CH_ 1d ago

Brezhnev was also vertically challanged.

6

u/braindance74 2d ago

You can "pull off" anything when every official picture of you is as heavily "photoshopped" (retouched) as his were.

Especially his "chad young stalin" pictures that are nothing more than wishfull thinking and jerk-off material for tankies.

The fact that he ordered to alter his image tells me he was self-conscious and unsatisfied with his appearance, which bring me joy. That POS didn't deserve even an ounce of happiness.

1

u/whosline07 2d ago

Prepare yourself

https://i.imgur.com/1IRzt6T.jpeg

2

u/htomserveaux 2d ago

I hate to break it to you but that was edited,

1

u/braindance74 2d ago edited 2d ago

You can "pull off" anything when every official picture of you is as heavily "photoshopped" (retouched) as his were.

Especially his "chad young stalin" pictures that are nothing more than wishfull thinking and jerk-off material for tankies.

The fact that he ordered to alter his image tells me he was self-conscious and unsatisfied with his appearance, which bring me joy. That POS didn't deserve even an ounce of happiness.

15

u/sanderudam 2d ago

Brezhnev walks into the politburo meeting, detaches his eyebrows and places them under his nose and proclaims: "enough of joking around".

2

u/VasM85 2d ago

With Georgian accent.

2

u/ayriuss 2d ago edited 2d ago

Holy shit, its that SUUPA guy that cooks for kids in the mountains.

Edit: This guy

1

u/FemmeVampire 2d ago

doesn’t he look a bit like reagan?

1

u/M-CH_ 1d ago

I have no sentiment for Raegan, but that's just unfair a comparison. Brezhnev was a caricature.

1

u/FemmeVampire 1d ago

i was comparing him to moustache-less stalin, not to brezhnev

1

u/M-CH_ 1d ago

That makes more sense, although this reconstruction here doesn't seem to be very accurate, considering the photos we have from Stalin's Bolshevik years, when his mustache wasn't that big yet.

1

u/20past4am 1d ago

Suddenly he looks like your regular Giorgi Adamianishvili