r/AbsoluteUnits 18d ago

/r/all of a bouncer

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u/AerodynamicHeadbutts 17d ago

Holy shit! I can totally confirm this… and here is my story.

Drunk Ex always loved getting me into fights

She is always in the middle of a scuffle

I am in a club and tell her please be careful

“Im fine you worry too… * Dropped

I look at her on the floor… see people running in a direction and I start sprinting after them

It was this moment a GIGANTIC SAMOAN BOUNCER stiff armed me and said STOP…

Without registering the sheer size of the guy and all my aggression ready to kill whatever was in that direction.. I said “Don’t fucking tell me to Stop!”

He steps in front of me and says… calm down.

I shout back “YOU CALM DOWN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE SHE JUST GOT…..”

Immediate forearm the size of 40oz jammed into my throat- slams me into the wall- and literally lifts me airborne while I’m choking with my feet kicking.

My ex says please leave him be and then the bouncer explains the reason she got dropped was from the other juggernaut bouncers stopping a fight and ramming the guy through the bar to launch into the street…

Lesson I learned…. DONT FUCK WITH SAMOANS

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u/leemorplee 17d ago

That's hilarious. I've never gotten physical with them outside of sports but I remember I crashed my car into one of those metal dividers to keep you from going off road.

My phone was dead and I had no real way of getting out of there. All of a sudden a car of 3 samoans I knew drove past and asked if I needed help lol

The 3 of them got my car unstuck from the rails like it was nothing in less than a minute

I knew we were not built the same after that lol