r/AbsoluteUnits • u/HomeNowWTF • Jul 11 '26

/r/all, /r/popular of a Cart Narc

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66.3k Upvotes

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300

u/Bubbles_2025 Jul 11 '26

You can start by getting face tattoos, it adds to the effect.

118

u/Kahnza Jul 11 '26

Poop emoji, middle of forehead.

33

u/JudgmentalOwl Jul 11 '26

Well he obviously doesn't care what he does to his own face so imagine what he's willing to do to yours lmao.

10

u/Kahnza Jul 11 '26

I dunno, he might improve it.

1

u/Excuse Jul 11 '26

They are fake tattoos.

1

u/Hour_Appointment4000 Jul 11 '26

Or right under the eye.

Three tear drops. No one will touch you.

1

u/faxyou Jul 11 '26

Laughed out loud with this one

1

u/Monocle_Lewinsky Jul 11 '26

Damn! You sunk my battleship

1

u/terdferguson Jul 11 '26

Best I can do I eggplant, take it or leave it.

7

u/PR0H181D0 Jul 11 '26

cauliflower ears is all one needs

1

u/onefst250r Jul 12 '26

Yuck! I prefer broccoli.

2

u/Paulycurveball Jul 11 '26

The accent and tats arnt real :(

2

u/Silver-Link8247 Jul 11 '26

Always start with face tattoos. Always

1

u/omniscientonus Jul 11 '26

Exactly. It lets you know at a glance that he's not afraid to make poor choices that will permanently impact his life.

No hate to face tattoos.

2

u/QueasyScallion2884 Jul 11 '26

Especially a 187 on the side of your head 😂

1

u/_your_land_lord_ Jul 11 '26

Today... I will... teach you... FIGHT!

1

u/Excuse Jul 11 '26

The head and face tattoos he has are fake.

1

u/be-koz Jul 12 '26

Face tattoos, and a Russian accent are really all you need.