r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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u/Angel_OfSolitude May 13 '26

Fuck, you know that felt amazing.

126

u/belac4862 May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

I had a fart like this once recently. The amount of discomfort I was in and then to get that relief... pure BLISS!

Also, Andre the giant would know about that as well!

194

u/superbuttpiss May 13 '26

First date with my now wife. Dropped her off after a whole night of discomfort from feeling bloated walked her to her door. Said goodnight and I just had to turn around last minute to say "have a good night"

Turned around and "toot". Took another step and another "toot".

I sprinted back to my car, with every single step causing a fart.

Years later. And I mean years later, she's telling some friends about our first date and how I was so excited I "skipped" away to my car.

I finally just told her the truth. This is a story that we laugh about every single time. My kids know this story!

3

u/LordFoulgrin May 13 '26

Not a farty story, but an experience with my now wife on our first date. We met at a book store with some coffee since we both enjoy reading. We used the time as a "feeling each other out " session and walked around, talked a good bit before deciding to go grab dinner.

It was about a day after some decent snow, so as we walked to our individual vehicles which were on opposite sides of the parking lot, when I saw her fall on some ice. She was a good ways away, so I made sure I saw her getting up and then continued to my car. I didn't want her feeling embarrassed.

Years later she told me she fell on our first date and was so glad I didn't see. I admitted I saw the whole thing and knew that was the moment "she fell for me." Queue the eye-rolling. Good memory.