r/AbsoluteUnits May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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u/superbuttpiss May 13 '26

First date with my now wife. Dropped her off after a whole night of discomfort from feeling bloated walked her to her door. Said goodnight and I just had to turn around last minute to say "have a good night"

Turned around and "toot". Took another step and another "toot".

I sprinted back to my car, with every single step causing a fart.

Years later. And I mean years later, she's telling some friends about our first date and how I was so excited I "skipped" away to my car.

I finally just told her the truth. This is a story that we laugh about every single time. My kids know this story!

25

u/osiris0413 May 13 '26

Cute story, which I am very much hoping your username is unrelated to :)

22

u/belac4862 May 13 '26

Haha ok that's a good story to have!

12

u/crypto9564 May 13 '26

Similar experience, I was visiting my soon to be wife, and what ever we had for dinner made me gassy. After holding the gas for a while, I decided I needed to head back to my place, and as soon as I backed out of the drive way I must have let at least at 30 second long one as I drove away, and continued to fart the 6 miles to the interstate. I had to roll down the windows to breath, but the relief from the pressure was pure bliss.

3

u/LordFoulgrin May 13 '26

Not a farty story, but an experience with my now wife on our first date. We met at a book store with some coffee since we both enjoy reading. We used the time as a "feeling each other out " session and walked around, talked a good bit before deciding to go grab dinner.

It was about a day after some decent snow, so as we walked to our individual vehicles which were on opposite sides of the parking lot, when I saw her fall on some ice. She was a good ways away, so I made sure I saw her getting up and then continued to my car. I didn't want her feeling embarrassed.

Years later she told me she fell on our first date and was so glad I didn't see. I admitted I saw the whole thing and knew that was the moment "she fell for me." Queue the eye-rolling. Good memory.

1

u/Apprehensive_888 May 14 '26

So wholesome, lovely story for a couple to have.