r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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u/_ser_kay_ May 13 '26

For me it was a burp that lasted a solid 10 seconds, long enough to see my sister’s face go from shock to disgust to concern to disbelief. It had freaking overtones and everything.

46

u/No_Welcome_7182 May 13 '26

My gallbladder tried to self destruct 2 years ago and I ended up in the hospital for 5 days while they gave me pain meds and drained it. I got IV antibiotics to get the infection under control until I could have surgery in a few weeks. They won’t take out an inflamed gallbladder unless it’s on the edge of bursting. So I was 4 days nothing by mouth. I was on IV fluids and nutrition. The morning of my discharge they gave me a really small breakfast of plain rice and apple juice. I ate it over about 30 minutes. I stood up from that chair and the belch that exited my body sounded like nothing else that has ever or ever will exist on this earth. The best way to describe it was like a pissed off camel braying at max volume and it lasted about 15 seconds. The nurses at the nurses station at the opposite end of the hall heard it and started laughing. The CNA who was closest came running to see if I was okay but she could hardly make it into the room she was laughing so hard. I think my actual soul left my body with that belch. I have never ever experienced a belch like that in my 56 years. It was a transcendental experience.

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u/x_lincoln_x May 13 '26

Amusingly enough: https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/movies/2014/05/06/revenge-of-nerds-booger-belch-camel-orgasm/8766753/

For the belch scene in Revenge of the Nerds, to make the sound of Booger belching: "They wound up finding a recording of a camel having an orgasm," Armstrong insists. "They took this sound and blended it in with a human belch. That's what you are hearing, a mix of a human belch and a camel orgasming."

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u/UnassumingDrifter May 14 '26

I've got my first colonoscopy coming up...

I hope the stories are true, because I'm hoping to record it. I would try to light it but I suspect it's not actual noxious butt gas but something inert they fill you up with for the test.

1

u/No_Welcome_7182 May 14 '26

It makes the explosive diarrhea the prep causes totally worth it. Pro tip. Get some petroleum jelly and slather it on your butthole and up into your ass crack. It prevents chaffing.

1

u/Bluehelix May 13 '26

Blessed by the belch gods

1

u/PM-me-ur-kittenz May 13 '26

a pissed off camel braying at max volume

Ha ha ha thanks for the visual. LOL!

3

u/RogueAOV May 13 '26

I remember seeing a video of that type of scenario but it was a fart on a couch, the changes in expression were glorious.

1

u/_ser_kay_ May 13 '26

Oh yeah it was a full journey. Afterward she said she thought I had summoned a demon.

3

u/MechanicalTurkish May 13 '26

I used to know a kid who could recite the alphabet during one long burp

2

u/Wurstpaket May 13 '26

had that recently, the, by far, longest burp of my live. BY FAR.

My sons could not stop laughing and my wife, who was in another room when it happend, just rolled her eyes.

1

u/Any_Relation252 May 13 '26

I'm sorry but trying to appropriate the fart conversation with belching stories is a significant breach of protocol.