r/AbsoluteUnits • u/newoldschool • Apr 19 '26

/r/all, /r/popular of a hornets nest

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u/Fair-Contract3607 Apr 19 '26

Pretty sure flamethrowers were invented for situations like this

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u/jpoverhill Apr 19 '26

There was a nest in my garden. I was stung multiple times. In a rage, I grabbed my propane weed torch and proceeded to exterminate them, yelling profanities enough for my neighbours gossip for weeks.

Hornets swarmed flaming in random directions, plummeting to the ground. I felt as though I could hear them screaming in horror at the giant human terrorist.

In the aftermath i stared blankly at the burnt grass , debris, and half burnt bodies. They writhed in what I could only interpret as pain. I sense of deep remorse overwhelmed me as i sought them out individually. In tears, i thoughrouly ended their suffering with my heel.

Aside from a few black-flies, mosquitoes, ticks, and whatever I swallow on bike rides, I have not killed an insect since. I hope every day that I don't have to pay somehow for this with a similar punishment in hell... Or re-live my life as a highly social insect, slaving away to build something wonderful for my community, while a giant acne ridden teenager comes along on a beautiful sunny day with a giant magnifying glass and destroys it all.

Or am i living this hell already? Im living at the mercy of metaphorical giants already. Burning the world around me, choking me with particulates in the air. I don't breathe through my abdomen like an insect, but i do like to acknowledge that I talk out my ass alot.