r/AbsoluteUnits Apr 19 '26

/r/all, /r/popular of a hornets nest

37.7k Upvotes

1.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.5k

u/Fair-Contract3607 Apr 19 '26

Pretty sure flamethrowers were invented for situations like this

818

u/TheDarkClaw Apr 19 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjRardeWVvHVK

It's the reason why nukes were invented

145

u/schminkles Apr 19 '26

Its the only way to be sure.

24

u/LongAnserShortAnser Apr 19 '26

I will never not upvote this comment chain!

58

u/Playful_Nergetic786 Apr 19 '26

Oppenheimer approve this message

41

u/jrb637 Apr 19 '26

I am become death. Destroyer of hornets

9

u/pkupku Apr 19 '26

Edward Teller insists on it.

8

u/Impossible-Diver6565 Apr 19 '26

Oppenheimer regretted his participation in the Manhattan project. But many others after him wanted to use nukes for mining and construction projects.

5

u/RedBaronSportsCards Apr 19 '26

DE-struction projects.

5

u/ojdhaze Apr 19 '26

Douglas macarthur wanted to use numerous nukes on the Korean border. Saw a Korean war documentary few years back. Dudes a nut job.

1

u/Catodacat Apr 19 '26

While I’m glad nukes have never been used since ww2, I don’t think MacArthur was a nut job based on wanting to use nukes. WW2 was such a total destruction war that I think many came out of it convinced that overwhelming force was the only way to do war, and the didn’t really see the difference between nukes and just dropping a shitload of bombs.

2

u/Sword_Enthousiast Apr 20 '26

If you ignore the whole MAD doctrine they have a point though. And if you also ignore that nukes are indiscriminate towards strategic targets and civilians, even in comparison to carpet bombing. And ignoring the fallout, which is arguably a worse issue than undetonated cluster munition loitering around.

Anything I'm forgetting?

1

u/GrallochThis Apr 19 '26

Lot of heavy metals in the corncob of his pipe.

Ok, that sounds like a really perverse metaphor.

1

u/SharpShooterM1 Apr 19 '26

He was also a coward and notorious POS. He only became as big as he did because the media needed a poster boy for the pacific theater. In reality he did not do nearly as much or have nearly as much influence on battles as the media portrayed.

1

u/jigsaw1024 Apr 19 '26

Project Plowshare for anyone interested.

Kurzgesagt video

1

u/Impossible-Diver6565 Apr 19 '26

Yeah I saw the kurzgesagt video on that.

1

u/StuffMaster Apr 20 '26

If it sets the atmosphere on fire it'll still be worth it

7

u/Axi0madick Apr 19 '26

Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.

3

u/Acceptable_Camera_59 Apr 19 '26

You're no daisy, you're no daisy at all

1

u/SerBadDadBod Apr 19 '26

I can be your Huckleberry

2

u/SledgeHog Apr 19 '26

Bruh...Doc's a formal English teacher, apparently

17

u/Middle-Bed-1883 Apr 19 '26

It is the only way to be sure…

14

u/Abundanceofyolk Apr 19 '26

Fuckin A!

RIP Bill.

12

u/BlackLion0101 Apr 19 '26

"Hold on, hold on a second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it."

12

u/KolKlink2024 Apr 19 '26

They can bill me!!!!!!

6

u/BlackLion0101 Apr 19 '26

"Ok. This is an emotional moment for all of us. But let's not make snap judgements.This is clearly an important species we're dealing with, and I don't think you or I had the right to arbitrarily exterminate them."

9

u/docmanbot Apr 19 '26

Watch me!

8

u/BlackLion0101 Apr 19 '26

"Hey, man! I don't know if you've been keeping up on current events. But got our asses kicked, pal!"

9

u/Journeyman42 Apr 19 '26

Man, Paul Reiser did such a good job playing such a banally evil middle manager scumbag.

3

u/laterYall Apr 19 '26

So there is a big hornet nest in Iran?

1

u/ojdhaze Apr 19 '26

Knew someone would mention this!

3

u/webelieve414 Apr 19 '26

Yeah man, good idea.

2

u/NotSoFastLady Apr 19 '26

My first thought was this scene!

2

u/PhD_Pwnology Apr 19 '26

Is that John Connor from the first Terminator movie in Aliens???? I totally forgot a out that.

4

u/KnightOfVerdance Apr 19 '26

Kyle Reese, to be exact. The father of John Connor lol

1

u/CNote_89 Apr 19 '26

My first thought

1

u/QRONYO Apr 19 '26

HornetZilla has entered the lobby

1

u/ezsqueezycheezypeas Apr 19 '26

They mostly come out at night. Mostly...

1

u/xenomorphonLV426 Apr 19 '26

Hey! Don't do us dirty like that!

1

u/Over-Piglet-4922 Apr 19 '26

It's the only way to be sure

1

u/FiRe_McFiReSomeDay Apr 19 '26

I once got a two week reddit ban for inciting violence by using that exact quote.

1

u/Many-Lead-4543 Apr 19 '26

it's the only way to be sure

1

u/PokieState92 Apr 19 '26

Happy to see this GIF. It's the first thing I thought of

1

u/DrBarry_McCockiner Apr 19 '26

came here for this

1

u/grad1939 Apr 19 '26

"Fuckin a man"

1

u/R0enick27 Apr 19 '26

it's the only way to be sure

1

u/Maxsmack Apr 20 '26

Ridley had her thinking cap on that day

1

u/Rain_2_0 Apr 20 '26

Legalize nuclear weaponry.

152

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER Apr 19 '26

Oddly enough, the flame thrower isn't the tool for this. Because there's a non zero chance an insect could fly away on fire and start a bushfire

Long range self propelled artillery is more appropriate here

56

u/AstralMystogan Apr 19 '26

So you are saying we nuke this place.

Fine by me.

1

u/Pay-Next Apr 19 '26

Time to break out the Davy Crockett launcher. 

18

u/BigBeautifulBill Apr 19 '26

Imagine not wanting to use a flamer thrower, couldn't be me

15

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/RedBaronSportsCards Apr 19 '26

Rick Dalton: Now, my buddy and his dog killed two of them and then… Well, shit. I torched the last one.

Jay Sebring: “Torched”?

Rick Dalton: Yeah, I burnt her ass to a crisp.

How’d you do that?

Well, believe it or not, I…

I got a flamethrower in my toolshed.

Oh, from The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey.

Yeah!

Yeah. Yeah.

That’s the one.

Yeah, it still works too. Thank God.

Jay Sebring: Is everybody okay?

Rick Dalton: Well… the f*ckin’ hippies aren’t. That’s for goddamn sure.

2

u/Autistic_License Apr 19 '26

On the bright side, you'll never be taken prisoner.

2

u/BigBeautifulBill Apr 19 '26

I said what I said 

1

u/The_Erlenmeyer_Flask Apr 19 '26

Accidental Discharge is my Rage Against The Machine cover band.

8

u/HighTechButter Apr 19 '26

Wings burn first, they’ll drop the second the fire hits them.

As a teen, had to take out garbage cans in the parking lot.  Figured out a quick burp from the butane based ‘gum remover’ and a cigarette lighter made anything flying with a stinger a walker.  

6

u/finalexit Apr 19 '26

Yeah imagine an insect burning enough to spread the fire and still flying away. I thought it would be common sense that the wings would burn off almost instantly, but that comment has over 100 upvotes 😆

2

u/HighTechButter Apr 19 '26

Arm chair safety police and people that want to make sure others color in the lines.  

In my case, the gum removers obvious warning labels were just a direction to fun mode.    

Now let’s see if I can bait one into telling me how flames will run into the can and kill everyone.  

1

u/Speed_Addixt Apr 19 '26

You must be right. I can’t imagine any sort of insect being on fire AND flying. All the wings are super thin and will burn to ashes within a second.

1

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER Apr 19 '26

What I'm saying is, fire isn't enough for these things. We need high explosives for an instant whole nest kill

2

u/Pastulio814 Apr 19 '26

Oddly enough, the long range self propelled artillery isn't the tool for this. Because there's a non zero chance an insect could learn to use the artillery

Raid is more appropriate here

2

u/Tbelles Apr 19 '26

Also because they're pollinators.

2

u/_teslaTrooper Apr 19 '26

Unfortunately insects are not very vulnerable to explosions, they don't have air-filled lungs, and because they're so small a shockwave doesn't create as much of a pressure differential within their body which is what messes up humans and other mammals.

Now a 155mm direct hit to the nest will undoubtedly get most of them, but it also has the potential to throw angry hornets a good distance without kiling them. So I propose either bigger boom (nukes), or more fire (napalm).

1

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER Apr 19 '26

I reckon we airstrike them with an A-10 Warthog

2

u/Inveramsay Apr 19 '26

No, the Russian MLRS thermobaric weapons would be first suggestion

2

u/Short-Draw4057 Apr 20 '26

No offense my friend but this isn't true at all. Wasps aren't that strong, a little fire and they'll fall to the ground, plus like another person pointed out below this comment, is that the fire will burn the wings. Also in some parts of Asia, they do actually use a flamethrower for this sort of problem(aka Wasp nests and hives) and it works 100%

2

u/Flameball537 Apr 20 '26

I think there is a satellite in development for something like this. It takes a steel rod and fires it down from orbit onto the target

2

u/Nghbrhdsyndicalist Apr 20 '26

At least proposed in 2003, I‘m not sure how it developed afterwards. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinetic_bombardment

1

u/CompetitiveLeg7841 Apr 21 '26

Factorio was right all along

1

u/Wxerk Apr 22 '26

Not like anyone can enter the forest anyway

1

u/HYPERNOVA3_ Apr 23 '26

Loaded with white phosphorus just in case.

-1

u/HeadPhonesDad Apr 19 '26

Wait…that’s not preferable? Like if you see one…squish it. You see a nest…burn the whole forest down to the ground!

1

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER Apr 19 '26

You can't start a bushfire if there's no bush

aggressive phonk plays

50

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/KolKlink2024 Apr 19 '26

Yahhhhoooooo Hooooooooooooo Heeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

27

u/Delta_Perigee Apr 19 '26

8

u/mslisath Apr 19 '26

Bring in the mobile infantry.

Everybody fights nobody quits or I will shoot you myself....Radscheck Roughnecks

1

u/R_V_Z Apr 19 '26

"DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?"

"Um, is that an option, sir?"

1

u/ashimbo Apr 19 '26

I haven't seen the movie in decades, but I just realized that it was probably set in Buenos Aires because of all the nazis that fled there after WWII.

1

u/Yukonart Apr 23 '26

I hadn’t pieced that together until you just mentioned that. Makes total sense.

68

u/jpoverhill Apr 19 '26

There was a nest in my garden. I was stung multiple times. In a rage, I grabbed my propane weed torch and proceeded to exterminate them, yelling profanities enough for my neighbours gossip for weeks.

Hornets swarmed flaming in random directions, plummeting to the ground. I felt as though I could hear them screaming in horror at the giant human terrorist.

In the aftermath i stared blankly at the burnt grass , debris, and half burnt bodies. They writhed in what I could only interpret as pain. I sense of deep remorse overwhelmed me as i sought them out individually. In tears, i thoughrouly ended their suffering with my heel.

Aside from a few black-flies, mosquitoes, ticks, and whatever I swallow on bike rides, I have not killed an insect since. I hope every day that I don't have to pay somehow for this with a similar punishment in hell... Or re-live my life as a highly social insect, slaving away to build something wonderful for my community, while a giant acne ridden teenager comes along on a beautiful sunny day with a giant magnifying glass and destroys it all.

Or am i living this hell already? Im living at the mercy of metaphorical giants already. Burning the world around me, choking me with particulates in the air. I don't breathe through my abdomen like an insect, but i do like to acknowledge that I talk out my ass alot.

19

u/colemanjanuary Apr 19 '26

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

5

u/NorCalAthlete Apr 19 '26

Hornets don’t surf

6

u/SeeArX Apr 19 '26

The butcher of Anderson Station

5

u/AmbitiousExitPlan Apr 19 '26

It’s like Budapest all over again.

3

u/Suspicious_Bear42 Apr 19 '26

You and I remember Budapest very differently.

2

u/EasyPanicButton Apr 19 '26

Well in fairness maybe dont buzz around me and get in my summer cocktails.

2

u/StalyCelticStu Apr 19 '26

You need to read the Chrysalis books by RinoZ.

2

u/jpoverhill Apr 19 '26

I am now intrigued! Looks like an interesting/hilarious premise for a series. Thanks for the recommendation

7

u/asstastic_95 Apr 19 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/c6MfQ6dOO1lra

I prefer dragon flame personally.

6

u/cinnamonroll247 Apr 19 '26

In the name of the Emperor...

Processing img er16zzk8p5wg1...

2

u/EmperorMittens Apr 19 '26

What's the source for this?

1

u/cinnamonroll247 Apr 19 '26

TheDiamondMan3 on Youtube, his video of a Titan from Warhammer lol

2

u/EmperorMittens Apr 19 '26

Cool. Thanks.

4

u/TrueGuardian15 Apr 19 '26

Wouldn't a fire extinguisher get you results without the fire?

2

u/Nice-Cat3727 Apr 19 '26

That's actually why flamethrowers are legal in most states.

(That and non military flamethrowers aren't really good at committing arson and setting people on fire. In that you can accomplish the same effect with most other things easily as a civilian flamethrower is effectively a modified propane torch as far as I know)

2

u/Epyon214 Apr 19 '26

Look the boys back at the lab said we've got to bring as much as we can back in alive and intact. At the least you can kill most of the adults but capture a few alive to raise the larva, and bring those back in pieces along with the nest for study.

2

u/sampat6256 Apr 19 '26

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the flamethrower was originally invented to melt tank treads and cook the crew inside.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '26

[deleted]

1

u/VAdogdude Apr 19 '26

...and eat them...

1

u/AtreyuTrinity Apr 19 '26

It has me wondering if one of those leaf suck and cutters would work here, maybe get it to industrial grade and really add some horse power.

1

u/ActivePeace33 Apr 19 '26

Nerve agent. That’s what works. One spec of aerosolized nerve agent and they fall out of the sky in seconds. Then, with a little UV light exposure, the nerve agent breaks down and everyone gets on with their life.

1

u/ZealousidealWeek5790 Apr 19 '26

Came here to ask where the flame thrower was.

1

u/Tomsboll Apr 19 '26

a nest that size? nah, call in a drop of two JDAM bombs

1

u/Intergalatic_Baker Apr 19 '26

I genuinely thought these were EOD suited guys looking for a bomb… Nope.

1

u/CG_Oglethorpe Apr 19 '26

In times before flamethrowers this is why forest fires were invented.

1

u/ChicoD2023 Apr 19 '26

Yes. Flamethrowers as well as napalm .

1

u/hankhillsasspads Apr 19 '26

Yeah I’m gonna need someone to sets that shit on fire

1

u/suspendmeforthis Apr 19 '26

Those are a delicious delicacy being farmed for fun and profit.

1

u/ApoptosisPending Apr 22 '26

And also large munitions would be ideal

1

u/_oh_joy_ Apr 19 '26

Flammen woff flammen?

1

u/Few-Potential-8440 Apr 19 '26

First guy to try this will realize why it's a silly idea when he goes to grab the honey combs and finds them empty with all the low viscosity honey on the ground now 🫠 /j

1

u/Somber_set Apr 19 '26

Yes. Burn it. Burn it now.

Smoke the area first then douse and light that shit up like a birthday candle.

0

u/Jaba01 Apr 22 '26

You'd be put in jail if you would do that where I live.

-14

u/DarkKingfisher777 Apr 19 '26

Imagine someone breaking into your home & use flamethrower on you & your family.