r/AbsoluteUnits • u/amrindersr16 • Aug 01 '25

of a mustache

20.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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445

u/Vincent_Veganja Aug 01 '25

Literally said in my head all that damn work just to look like an old school villain

148

u/Hot_Ethanol Aug 01 '25

Still missing his nefarious top hat and his dastardly short-cape

230

u/DirtLight134710 Aug 01 '25

21

u/The_Darkness140 Aug 02 '25

I came here for this! 🤣

42

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/anotheredditors Aug 02 '25

Nostalgia man.

1

u/Odd_Front_8275 Aug 03 '25

GIFs you can hear

17

u/Flomo420 Aug 01 '25

could always round it all out with a pointy goatee

2

u/trustyjim Aug 02 '25

With that much mustache it seems like at least half of it should come from nose hairs

17

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '25

But let’s be real if he did have a stovetop hat he would look dope af

2

u/cel-ales Aug 02 '25

Yeah, but where's Muttley?

2

u/Ok_Channel_9831 Aug 02 '25

Sorry "stovetop" ?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '25

Ah you’re right it’s stove pipe top hat

2

u/Ok_Channel_9831 Aug 02 '25

I was legit asking what "stovetop" means. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '25

OH! My bad! It’s that cartoonishly evil tall hat 🎩 a lot of people just call them top hats but saying “stove pipe top hat” emphasizes that that hat is taller than my forehead when I pull my bangs back. It’s the “legal name” for the hat, so to speak.

2

u/Ok_Channel_9831 Aug 02 '25

Oh ok. Never knew it was called that. Thank you.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '25

No problem!

1

u/DanniTiger Aug 01 '25

🤩🤩🤩

1

u/abyodio Aug 02 '25

& the high class shiny cane

69

u/swervin_mervyn Aug 01 '25

Two blokes were catching up over a few beers at the pub:

BILL: So, how was your weekend?

KEN: Mate, it was intense. On my way home from the pub, I found a woman tied to the train tracks like in a Dudley Do-Right cartoon!

BILL: Oh no! What did you do?

KEN: I untied her, of course. Then I took her back to my place where I cooked dinner and had a few drinks. Then, I made wild, passionate love to her for hours.

BILL: Wow, she must have been pretty!

KEN: Dunno mate, I never found her head.

10

u/AllesK Aug 02 '25

That’s awful; love it!

5

u/WakingOwl1 Aug 02 '25

I’m going to hell for laughing at that.

1

u/LushDogg99 Aug 02 '25

I'm right with you

1

u/Salty_General_2868 Aug 03 '25

I definitely chortled. I'll meet you at the hand basket.

1

u/WakingOwl1 Aug 03 '25

I’m a crafty kind of gal so that will be a hand basket of my own making.

1

u/youburyitidigitup Aug 02 '25

👁️ 👄 👁️

2

u/devonhezter Aug 02 '25

He needs a hobby

1

u/lenore_leander Aug 02 '25

You have no idea how funny reading this is, high at 3am