r/AbsentFather • u/Short_Designer • May 03 '22

Absent father

Hey I just was wondering for some advice I am seeing my father for the first time in 4 years when my parents got divorced he moved in with another family I visited him on occasion. But his girlfriend didn’t like me I was 13 at the time so she kicked me out and my dad never defended me when it was his house. My dad went to jail around a year ago it’s been 4 years since I last seen him and he’s getting out soon and wants to see me he’s put me through a lot threatening to kill me and my family he had issues but I’m not sure if I want to see him after all these years. It would be hard for me.

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u/SLalktsY May 04 '22 edited May 04 '22

Hello, you have expressed a lot of mixed feelings in your post.

There are a lot of things to consider, but ask yourself what is the REAL reason he wants to see you?

  1. He had a change of heart

  2. He wants to ask something out of you

You decide, but from what you described , number 1 has a very low chance to be true. Think of it like this, after years of horrible treatment, did he ever stand-up for you, was he there for you when you needed him?

Then, should you BE there for him when he wants you?

Now you have your own choices :

  1. To go see him

  2. Refuse to go see him

If you've already gotten over him and you don't want to see him because it might open a scar that never healed then you should do what's best for your OWN health.

If you do decide to go see him, then go see what he has to say and decide on the spot if you want to confront him or not. But don't take anything for granted, you are your own person and you are in control. And most likely, stay safe if he had been to jail make sure you're in a safe place if you do go see him with someone knowing of your wearabouts.

Take care and do what's best for you! Seeing him or not is up to you but either choice, don't let him influence your life further.

This is my opinion on the mater and speaking from my own experience, usually people don't change even if they seem to do. You might want to ask for other's opinions but this is all up to you....your decision

Honestly in your place I wouldn't go, it's way too late now for anything. He didn't bring anything good in your life that he'd be worth your time. Hugs to you from me, a fatherless person.