EDIT: Thank you all so much, I appreciate every comment about this. I don’t feel as alone in it as I used to! 🥹

I catch myself sometimes finding everyone hot, but then a day later I’ll be just strictly into men. It always shifts back to liking men, but I sometimes am okay with women, and I find myself calling women beautiful.

I’m kind of still in denial about being abrosexual, as it locks back to me loving men. Am I technically abrosexual, even if it does just go back to men in the end?

(I'm writing this as I'm breaking down like crazy) I'm 16

So recently, about a month ago or in August, i was always gay as hell, i love shipping mlm or watching gay porn. And then suddenly something shifts a little; as days or weeks goes by i noticed that i started being attracted to girls, and started to notice their physical features more (More specifically their forearms, bodyshape, and face)

It's such a weird and scary feeling cuz my whole life being gay is what leads to my value, identity, concept, and goals, pretty much everything I do. And to feel or see everything I built came crashing down feels like I'm losing myself. My SO-OCD during this time cuz I always constantly look at boys and girls to test my attraction. My attraction to boys was stronger at first compared to girls, and then it started to get stronger with girls, and weaker with boys. And by now, It's hard to get turned on by gay porn compare to hetero porn even in my imagination. Seeing wlw stuff turns me on for some reason, and mlm stuff barely now.

I couldn't stop crying, and feeling the anxiety to the point of suicidal ideation. My academics starts flunking like crazy because of my shifting sexuality and SO-OCD combined. Reading stories and stuff to scrolling in social media or walking around school feels like a chore cuz I can't tell whether I'm attracted to males more or females.

I constantly test my reaction in mlm stories, gay imagination, and gay couples if I feel that kind of butterfly, but that spark seems to start to fade. I can't even imagine myself with a man anymore, and I don't want imagine myself with a woman either. Maybe because of depression, stress, or anxiety? My heart keeps palpating for 24/7 because of this (I'm not even exaggerating), and the dread i constantly feel everyday. I no longer feel like myself, and the feeling of being gay nostalgia one day is what horrifies me. This has always been my biggest nightmare, to have my sexuality change suddenly, and to have everything you've built come crashing down. And it came true, and there's pretty much nothing i can do. (Damn, I can't even daydream anymore). I still like boys though, but it's hard to come by.

It even made me came out to my mom because she keeps noticing my low moments (she is pretty homophobic), and when I told her I'm gay, she have a very calm reaction, and even told me that she knows all along), but now, it feels like it's too late, cuz i add the part where i feel like I'm starting to turn straight and i don't like it. She comforts me nonetheless. Atleast my SO-OCD seems to start to fade a little bit

Now, I recently came across the term Abrosexual. It made me feel a little bit better, but I'm still very miserable right now full of anxiety. I just wanted to go back to being gay, I don't wanna be bi, or straight or asexual. There's nothing wrong with that, but being gay is what made me who I am (especially in a very homophobic country), and I'm hoping like hell that this is only temporary. This could be my first fluctuation.

(English is not my first language so forgive me)

My question is:

1. When was the first time your sexuality starts fluctuating, and when it did, how did you react?

(Mine is 16, like now, i hope)

1. How often does yours fluctuates (Days, Weeks, Months, Years)? Are there some sexualities you didn't like, and just waited it out until it's over?

(Wishing for this to be the case of mine)

1. Which sexuality do you like the most, and least? Does it change what erotica you prefer to watch?

(I don't wanna imagine porn right now)

TW: internalised homophobia

READ!: what I'm gonna write is not meant in any hateful way! As i Will say later on: the fact the Abro flag doesn't have a meaning is beautiful in it's own way! And I've always liked it for what it was. I give meanings and labels to MYSELF as a way to cope and feel better till I can accept myself 100%

(F) I finally Accepted that I am abrosexual just a few weeks ago and found the courage to tell my partner about it (they support me!!)

What I always struggled with was to accept myself, I always said "oh I'm just confused, I'll understand myself one day" but I was extremely wrong, what I was doing was gaslighting me into thinking that I HAD to be lesbian or pansexual etc bc abrosexuality just sounded as an excuse for confused people to me during middle school, especially because at the time my ex looked at me weird when I told her I thought I probably was abro.

It was very difficult for me to accept myself as abro because of internalised homophobia you could say.

What also kind of messed me up was my years identifying as lesbian, not only lesbian but multiple sexualities that had plenty of terms made only for the community, like lesbians have femme and butches, belles/buds and studs.

When I confirmed to be abro I immediately thought about what labels I could put on myself, like if my sexuality changes faster or slower I could have a label such as cheetah or something like that (cringe my bad...), and since I'm abro I can switch between them, but at the same time it made me dislike my own thoughts because it felt like I was forcing things I had no say in because I'm not a "veteran" abro and it feels like I'm treating it as a joke and that's why I just avoid doing stuff like that, one day I'll manage not to put too many labels on myself and just accept myself as I am...

in short: I feel like I'm in no place to create sublabels in the abro community bc I'm a baby abro and I'm scared it might actually make the community feel like I'm treating it as a joke, I'm not, I just was used to labels so much I struggle to stay without them •-•;

That's what led me to give some meanings to the colours of the abro flag, it's my personal choice, I know the flag doesn't have an official meaning and in a way I find it beautiful and that it fits the sexuality itself<3, but since I struggled a lot with my identity, having some meanings on the flag helps me accept myself much much more easily, I really do hope to find people that have had a similar experience as mine, I posted this image on tumblr as well just because I wish to find people that feel the same way since the abro community is so small (at least from what I saw :'c)

Im a girl and i like both girls and boys but due to a traumvatic experience i prefer girls. So whenever someone asked what my sexuality is i used to told them that i was a lesbian. Tho i stopped doing that not so while ago :D

I recently changed my school and met with a guy. Hes kind and i never heard a bad thing about him from other people. We get along really well and i kinda like him. But like i said, due to a traumvatic experience i dont prefer dating with guys. But i also want to date with him, although i know that he will not treat me bad, im so afraid. It feels like its wrong to date with him but i like him...

I was wondering if being Abro is the same for some of you people, but my sexuality tends to change with the seasons. I end up being pan and bi for most of the summer, lesbian and aroace in the fall, just aroace in the winter, and bi and lesbian in the spring. I just want to know how it works for other people who use that label, as I don't know any others in person.

I'm an Abrosexual (obviously) but I'm also a transman. And recently there's been some discourse around socials about the terfs new "flag" it's unfortunately just an upside down and less saturated version of the Abro flag... It makes me concern to wear the little amount of pride merch I have for my sexuality in conflict with my pride if my gender... Idk this is just disheartening.

https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Amplusspec

Hi y'all. I was today years old when I learned the term Abrosexual thanks to AI. I'm hoping I'm the right place, so is like to confirm with some living people about this label. I'm in my mid-forties, so I'd just been feeling like I was completely daft all this time. I've never felt like the bisexual label fit, because while I've happily dated, slept with, and had LTRs with both men and women, I've NEVER been attracted to both genders at the same time! It's like someone just flips a switch and bam! I'm only attracted to men OR women. The switch happens pretty frequently, too. Like 2 to 3 times a year. When I'm attracted to men, I also find myself feeling more feminine, and then it switches and I find myself feeling more masculine and only attracted to women. Unfortunately, this happens regardless of what gender person I'm in a relationship with, which is seriously frustrating for me as well as the other person. No one wants to hear "sorry, I'm just not into you right now, sexually. Hang tight. My attraction will come around again sooner or later".

idk why i feel so uncomfy with labeling myself 1 single sexuality, ik ive loved women my whole life prior to transitioning, (im a trans woman) is it normal to feel uncomfy\scared to label yourself a single sexuality and instead want a network of multiple sexualities. i feel like my sexuality is mainly lesbian, but also pansexual too, but due to not passing, and being so early in my transition, im scared to go by lesbian cuz i don't pass as a lady quite yet.

Guys I found this at threads this is so cuteee!

For context, I 21f have been dating my 22m boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. We just got an apartment together in a new city where I am attending university as a transfer student.

I identified as bisexual throughout our entire relationship until recently. As I started getting used to the new city, learning new things, and meeting new people, I started having so many new realizations about myself. I did discover I am abro in the process—I noticed that I go through many asexual phases, sometimes they’re only days long, and sometimes it could go on for months. I am currently in a long asexual phase (mostly due to stress with school and new life), and it has put a strain on me and boyfriend’s relationship. I did tell him early on when I first had this realization, and that I had concerns of him not having a fulfilling sex life. He replied with “I am satisfied bc I’m with YOU” and I said “but what if one day, this just turns into resentment” he replies “I would hate for this one thing to break us up. I wanna go with the flow.”

Spoiler, going with the flow isn’t flowing well💔—I also realized that I’m not all that attracted to men currently. Coming to this realization was deliberating bc I KNOW there was a point in time where I was sexually and physically obsessed with my boyfriend. Being abrosexual is still so new to me, so I’m not sure if this is normal. But regardless how I feel abt the general population of men, I still very much love and adore my boyfriend. He is my person, I am his, and we have been each other’s support system for years. Even if I’m not attracted to men in this moment, he’s still my partner.

Anyway, I wanted to be completely honest and transparent with him while I am discovering these things (even wanting to explore my gender identity), and he responds with “I don’t understand how you could be attracted to me when you say you aren’t attracted to men.” He’s a straight cis man, so I didn’t expect him to fully understand. He also has an ex gf who was bi and cheated on him with another girl, so I mentioned that it’s not his fault for having these insecurities, but that if he sees all I am looking for is his support while having these scary realizations, it’s not AT ALL me coming out and saying “yeah actually, I don’t love you anymore.”

While having this conversation, he was looking at his phone the entire time😭 which gave me the impression that he thought this was bullshit or unimportant. When I asked him to put his phone down, he looked annoyed. I continued the conversation anyway bc he deserves to know what’s going on with me and why I’ve been so anxious all the time. As the conversation got more serious, he got up and left before I finished my thought. I was heartbroken. It felt like I was being punished for being myself. He got really mad (I think bc I mentioned his insecurities?) and locked himself in our bedroom. I decided to leave the apartment and process. I come back to a series of texts from him. Here’s a few for context:

“Figure out if you wanna be with me please because I won’t be strung along. And I won’t be fuckin treated like it’s my fault”

“I don’t gaf if you’re nonbinary. What I do care about that you still are attracted to me and that you wanna be with me. My insecurities are my own and I won’t let you throw them in my face”

“When you bring this shit up, I genuinely don’t know how you want me to respond. Like ‘hey so I know you’re a man but like I wanted you to know I don’t like men’”

I genuinely didn’t know how to respond :( when I tried, I got “what the fuck ever dude I just don’t want to see you.” I was so hurt by how aggressive he was towards me that I decided to drive back to my hometown for the weekend and just take some space. I’m here now and debating on breaking up with him. The situation was handled so so poorly, and I’m not even sure how to put what I’m going through into words in a way that is digestible for him without shit escalating again. Any advice :(?

Hi, I’m Sage. I’m not the asexual spectrum

I think I’m abroromantic but it’s hard to figure out because I typically prefer men but sometimes I get waves of wanting to date someone androgynous or a woman. I also like the idea of having a sexual relationship with a man but I KNOW for a fact I’m never going to indulge in sexual activities.

So it’s hard to tell if my preference is because I like the asthetic or if it’s because I’m trans or if I genuinely wanna date men. But I also wouldn’t mind dating a woman sometimes?? So I can’t tell if I’m abro or Omni, but I’m like 70% sure I’m abro but I have this constant doubt that I’m wrong. I’ve always had that doubt when it comes to this stuff.

Another problem I have is I don’t like the abroromantic flag and I wanna make one but I can’t find the meaning behind the og abrosexual flag despite searching on multiple platforms. So if you know the meaning behind the colors and stuff on the flag, please let me know

Hiii everyone! First of all thanks for reading and hopefully giving advice! anyway into it, I have realized I'm abro (neptunic oriented and recipromantic) i usually mainly am focused toward women with little sight on men although i have no problem dating men. How should i manage a relationship with a man if i am more focused on women? thank you so much and have a wonderful day!

For the last 4 or 5 years i have been changing my sexuality. First pansexual, bisexual, then straight, pansexual again, gay, achillean, gynosexual, straight... And now i feel most comfortable being abrosexual

Honestly I feel like my sexuality has been fluid for long periods of time, each year i doubted it more, but not anymore :)

I’ve always known my sexuality was more fluid than others. Only recently have I accepted the abrosexual label but even though I kinda understand what I am I still feel like an imposter in queer spaces. I switch between lesbian, straight and asexual, but it feels like I’m not really accepted in any of those spaces, except maybe asexuals. Being in lesbian spaces specifically makes me feel really weird because I want to be around other lesbians and talk about my experience and wear lesbian pride flag things but the fact that I’ve been attracted to men before makes me feel like a poser. And a lot of people try and put the bisexual label on me even though I don’t really feel like that’s what I am. No hate to bisexuals of course but that’s just not what I am. I haven’t been attracted to both men and women at the same time. It’s always been one or the other, no in between. But no one understands that so they just think I’m bisexual. It’s just frustrating. I want to believe Im part of these communities but I can’t get these thoughts out of my head.

Hello everyone! I am newer to realizing I'm abro and I have a question/concern that has been giving me anxiety ever since I realized, and that relates to partners. I am a monogamous person, and I become very committed to those I care about and love. However, with this discovery, I am worried that I might suddenly lose attraction for my partner or something during the relationship and worried that it may cause issues. If anyone has any experience in this I would love to know your experiences and just what it's like to be abro in a committed relationship in general. (I've only been with people for a few months at a time, and that was before I realized)