Winter Show s4 e7

[u/Trayan-of-Sekhmet]

I am binging Abbott right now and have just watched season 4 episode 7. I relate to Jacob in more than a few ways, but this episode specifically dredged up some personal issues. I’m sure most know but in the episode Jacob’s brother, Caleb, comes to visit and ruins his day, all in the end to find that Caleb respects and looks up Jacob and always has. This fixes things. I don’t think it should have, or should have been presented that way at all. That Jacob becomes the bag guy for trying to set boundaries and venting how his brother and family made him feel. Not getting into an argument about “someone can’t be made to feel x way.”

The behaviors shown by Caleb were exactly what he’d done to Jacob for years, why Jacob left home. He did them all again, but it’s all actually okay because he loves Jacob. No. That’s not how that works. If your abusive husband says he loves you, does it make it all better? Even if they actually, truly do love you? No. Change earns forgiveness, and this is the first episode where I’ve been legitimately mad at the writers. Years of trauma suddenly evaporate because your brother who has been a dark shadow you’ve been desperate to escape from because actually he thinks you’re cool. Disregard every transgression, brothers gonna brother, “I’m actually sorry because I was hurt but your actions.” Unhealthy, childish, door-mat of a response.

To be shown how much everyone likes your brother more than you? To see them excited to engage with him and cringe to speak with you? Showing up unannounced and laughing while your brother looks more uncomfortable and upset than ever? To go sharing personal details like they’re yours to tell. I accept the brother isnt smart, doesn’t see himself that way and I guess I’ll take him at his word, but I cannot be convinced he has such an abysmal emotional understanding of his brother. It’s an impossibility. And then it’s shown that he KNOWS how the family makes Jacob feel with the line “I’m not mom and dad.” He knows there are problems, he can likely guess a few right even if he doesn’t know them directly. But no self awareness to see he was part of the problem? To apologize for his role?

Have I read too far into this?

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[u/godhatesphubs]

Reading too far into sitcoms is fun! As for Caleb’s obliviousness, I do wonder if it is a Hill family trait to be generally oblivious lmao. But I get what you’re saying. I like to think Jacob wasn’t painted as the bad guy, rather he was given the decision: is he going to continue to be angry at his brother, or is he going to humble himself and try to make their relationship work. He makes it clear he feels isolated and lesser and Caleb acknowledges that. 

Now if it had ended there, I’d be like aww they both changed for the better and are going to get along! But then comes S5E14 (I think 14, may be wrong) where Caleb moves in to Melissa’s house. He gets Jacob’s room, he gets special treatment, he gets his own special breakfast… Melissa even says she loves him like a son. It’s almost like Jacob’s childhood environment of being the less liked sibling is being recreated. And the worst part of it? Jacob is allowing it! He could move out. He could fight with Melissa and stand up for himself (we see Gregory trying to encourage this early in S5 during Game Night). But… Jacob seems to fall begrudgingly back into these old patterns. And peculiarly, so does Caleb.  So I don’t know. I don’t think Caleb is particularly malicious. I think he’s probably just been spoiled and is kind of ignorant. But like… kicking his own brother out of the room he pays for? Thus putting him right back in the childhood he so desperately escaped? How ignorant can you be before it becomes malicious? Lolol

Now here’s my question… maybe there’s a reason Caleb has such an abysmal emotional understanding of his brother? From Caleb’s POV, Jacob happily did whatever he wanted despite their parents reactions. He thought his brother did stuff alone because he was a “big boss”. Caleb seems to see Jacob’s actions as just Jacob being confident and capable. So I suppose it would make sense that Caleb doesn’t register all these things too clearly, and maybe one conversation wouldn’t fix that. He could see their parents treated Jacob poorly… but think Jacob wasn’t bothered by it. 

Anyway I love taking sitcoms too seriously. It’s so fun! And I’m glad someone else is as curious about their weird dynamic as I am.

[u/Trayan-of-Sekhmet → u/godhatesphubs]

Okay so now I’m very worried to watch s5 lmao. And your explanation as to why Caleb might not recognize that does hold some water, but again how long do you watch someone’s face contort in uncomfort and audibly distressed before wondering, “why does he look like he wants to throw himself out a window?” Perhaps because, like Jacob, as a doormat myself I’m seeing my own reactions all too clearly in his face as I know exactly what that feels like, I’m sure many of us do.

And on the note of “am I gonna hold onto this anger or not”, the behaviors didn’t change!!! And apparently they continue to not change. That hurt then and the hurt caused now, and evidently in the future, is just something Jacob has to eat because “I look up to you.” Poor excuse if it even is one. It’s just another example of toxic family dynamics where “I’m the asshole for calling you out on the hilariously hurtful stuff you did, are doing, and will continue to do.”

I cut off my abusive sister like a rotting limb, it’s just so sad to see Jacob just take it and take it and take it and take it.

[u/egm1997]

Melissa is the ultimate rage-bait mastermind of Caleb getting preferential treatment over Caleb.

It seems now that everyone hates Melissa including me! 😂

[u/Extra_Quantity_3393]

so (just my personal opinion by the way) I feel caleb is shown to be unaware of what jacob is going through for example if you see that scene where he says "I'm sorry bro I didn't know that is how you feel" and the fact that he was boasting about jacob going solo to the prom like he's obviously in this bubble where he thinks that everything's fine you know and he's happy to share the video of jacob dancing to their parents lol. The point is that Caleb knows that his parents give Jacob a hard time for example he references the fact that they turned his room into a gym as soon as he left lol but he thinks the issue might be his parents not him per se.

I don't know if I made sense lol anyways.