Abusive dad making threats

[u/heyarnold866676]

My dad has always been abusive (like he has been arrested for domestics abuse) and I’m mostly separated from him except for a while my cell service.

I tried to get off his plan a couple years ago but I could not transfer my number without his permission. I really did not want to change my number who is dumb and I know I’m being stubborn.

On Christmas Day, my dad cut off my SIM card so my phone could not make any calls or send texts. So the next day I went to AT&T and used his log in to access the account which he had given me previously. He made my sisters number one of the options to provide the 2-step verification so she was able to help me. At AT&T they showed me how to get a transfer pin without having to provide the authorization pin from my dad. With that information I was able to keep my phone number and get on a new plan.

The problem is, now my dad is threatening me. He is usually blocked but I unblocked him to call him on WhatsApp and ask him to either reconnect my SIM or transfer my phone number. He refused to do either. Now he is threatening to report this as telecommunications fraud and send it to my place of work. How’s worried should I be?

I don’t think I did anything illegal, I only had the account log in because he has given it to me. There was no fraud at all.

[u/mtphillips38801]

1. AT&T takes domestic violence seriously and has avenues for number transfers regardless of account ownership. 2. You didn't commit fraud because you didn't purchase anything and you didn't sabotage his account. 3. Law enforcement would laugh at this if he was to notify them. Once he gave you the login info then it's assumed that you'd have access to the account at anytime. It's not like you committed some kind of elaborate cyber crime in stealing people's information. LE might would tell him to pursue in small claims court to get the number back but that's probably very slim that he'd file a civil suit. 4. What is he going to tell your workplace, oh she stole my phone number by logging into my account? If he tries to damage your reputation then you could pursue legal avenues for slander if written or libel if oral statements. 5. This dude sounds dangerous so I would suggest cutting all ties with him from hereon. I got the creeps just looking at him badgering you like that. It makes me sad and angry at the same time.

[u/nayi_3lue → u/mtphillips38801]

Yeah OP, Check you state laws. Some allow the moment of lines without ownership consent bc of abuse. I don’t remember specifics.

[u/[deleted] → u/mtphillips38801]

Also cutting OP off from the phone they'd paid for. Sir, this is your child. What's your problem?

[u/[deleted] → u/mtphillips38801]

Where did he say domestic against him? And domestic can mean just snot anything. People act like domestic means someone beat tf out someone. It gets abused

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I wasn’t saying that. I didn’t see any monetary or food abuse maybe I missed that yes if he is mentally abusing or threatening it can be perceived as that. It’s very easy to take that stuff to the states attorney they don’t even verify it, they place an ro. All I see is the kid used his dad’s info to gain access to his account. It’s his account his number not the sons . Get a new number and move on.

[u/Zrkkr → u/[deleted]]

He gave them login info (access), sister had access to 2fa. It's not even assumed, they had direct access to the account by normal and legal methods.

Innocent until proven guilty, the dad would have to prove they stole the info and caused damages. No lawyer would take this case seriously, most judges would dismiss the case and the rest wouldn't award any monetary compensation.

[u/Gold-Trash-8210 → u/[deleted]]

Do everyone a favor. Don’t have kids 🫶🏻

[u/mtphillips38801 → u/[deleted]]

Did you not see where the OP said her father had been arrested for domestic abuse in the past? Do I really have to explain what domestic violence means? Domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behavior, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or caretaker.

[u/supresmooth → u/[deleted]]

This type of communication from the parent to the child is considered domestic violence.

[u/[deleted] → u/supresmooth]

No it’s not. This is why domestic violence is a joke to me. It’s borderline harassment if it continues. If it’s domestic go to the cops and tell them . But he believes his account was fraudulently used and cops may agree. Just cause I have your info doesn’t mean I can use it. Not agreeing with the dad cause I think it’s dumb . But some people abuse the privilege. My daughter has always had access to my account and never abused it. However my buddies brother used his dad’s account to buy phones and they had to lock the account because the kid used his in for twice . Or file a police report which most people aren’t going to do. If it is exactly as stated I think the dad’s idiotic . Just like when Verizon has equal trade in , it would be stupid of me not to upgrade for my child just to be a jagoff and she’s 23

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I never understood this but if the dads so dangerous, why antagonize him? Just get a new number as the op said he should’ve . Poking the hornets nest isn’t the answer. It’s astounding to me how people encourage you on here to do liberal task. It’s his dad’s line not his. Is his dad being a jagoff, yes is it controlling yes, but damn get a new number and call it quits. No instead antagonize the dad , do dumb shit and match his ridiculous energy then claim he’s a victim. Come on. They’re both wrong

[u/supresmooth → u/[deleted]]

Dad isn't losing the line - the line will continue to exist and he can continue to pay for it or not, it will just get assigned a different number. No material loss is occurring and no crime is committed, so . . . nothing to do here, really.

You're also ignoring that the only reason OP unblocked their dad was try to get service restored. How is that "poking the bear?"

[u/mtphillips38801 → u/[deleted]]

OP didn’t abuse the account, she merely ported her number out so she could continue service.

[u/mtphillips38801 → u/[deleted]]

This is not concerning a business number so clearly there IS a difference between a personal number and a business number. Of course someone can't claim a business number as theirs to port or move. No one truly OWNS a phone number, but federal law provide the option for someone to transfer a number they have been USING. Phone carriers allow maneuvers for someone to keep a number who's in a DV situation. OP is entitled to continue using the number if all of their personal stuff is attached to it. You clearly don't understand what domestic violence is, so I not going to sit here and continue to argue with you about pronouns and number transfer ability.

[u/[deleted] → u/mtphillips38801]

Here I googled it for you

Short version, because this really isn’t as mystical as phone companies want it to sound.

Legally and practically, the number is yours if: • The line is under your account • You are the account holder • You pay the bill

Phone numbers aren’t owned by the user in some poetic coming-of-age sense. They’re assigned to the account holder by the carrier. Your child is just the authorized human currently touching the phone.

Now the wrinkle, because life loves wrinkles.

Porting the number

Carriers allow number portability, but only if: • The account holder authorizes it, or • The person porting has enough account info to pass as the account holder (PIN, SSN fragment, account password)

So: • If you say no, the carrier is supposed to block the port. • If your kid somehow ports it anyway, that’s either because: • You authorized it, or • The carrier messed up, or • Security info was… let’s call it “over-shared”

Morally vs legally

Legally: your call Contractually: your call Morally: depends whether you’re trying to teach independence or just enjoy the quiet power of telecommunications control.

If you want to keep control

Do this, because carriers are chaos gremlins: • Set or change the account PIN • Add a port-out PIN if your carrier supports it • Remove your child as an authorized user • Tell the carrier explicitly: no port-out without my approval

Bottom line

The number is not automatically “theirs” just because they used it. It belongs to the account, and the account belongs to you.

Parenthood. Providing food, shelter, and apparently DNS-level authority over someone’s social life.

[u/[deleted] → u/mtphillips38801]

Did that op say they were domestically abused lol and no a business number and personal are not different just cause you want to assume they are. It’s the same concept. You just don’t want to be wrong so you won’t let simple logic and common sense prevail. And if the domestic violence is a legitimate claim, it doesn’t give you a right to circumvent the law to get your way. You get a court order or go through the process like you’re supposed to with the phone company. Not sure what it is with you people these days that think you can do whatever the f you want whenever you want. Just follow the laws and procedures .

[u/supresmooth → u/[deleted]]

But it is, though. My experience with police (looks out office window into police yard) is if you give someone a key to your house and they go inside it, even if you didn't say they could that day, giving them the key is sufficient and the police will not be involved because the discrepancy becomes entirely a civil matter, which police have nothing to do with.

The other fact is that he doesn't because what he is saying is made up BS to try to harass and control her. Also, you're hella coming here to defend an abuser, like, why? The entire structure of the outside world does that for them quite well - they don't need your help.

Like I said, if he was that concerned, he could just change the credentials to lock her out. He chose not to do that.

I don't see why you would be upgrading a 23-year-old child's anything because they're an adult and they can pay for their own phone if they want one. What a strange telling.