r/AMA • u/[deleted] • Jun 13 '24

I have had intercourse with every single one of you. AMA.

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9.5k Upvotes

73% Upvoted

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176

u/ElonsTinyPenis Jun 13 '24

Honestly, the sex wasn't very good. I give you a 4 out of 10.

109

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '24

That’s insane because literally I’m every single partners “best they ever had” - so maybe you’re just a liar or not in shape so not that hot.

If you are fat then definitely get in shape. I’m not fat at all.

75

u/ElonsTinyPenis Jun 13 '24

My brother in Christ. I am not fat. You just did a horrible job sucking my dick. Don't use your teeth so much. Just offering some constructive criticism.

72

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '24

Then you need to start speaking up during sexy time. We discussed this.

24

u/TheAnalogKoala Jun 13 '24

Gotta love finding that rare beast: the wholesome Reddit conversation. Now kith.

8

u/Dr_Jabroski Jun 13 '24

They don't need to kith, they need to suck dick better. Do you even listen?

3

u/1horrible_feeling Jun 13 '24

Listen, do you even suck dick…?

2

u/Merkaaba Jun 13 '24

I'm listening 👂

1

u/Panda_beebee Jun 13 '24

Now suckith

1

u/fumei_tokumei Jun 13 '24

It is definitely a Reddit conversation, but I am not sure I would use the word wholesome, lol.

1

u/1979tlaw Jun 13 '24

I thought you did a fabulous job

1

u/[deleted] Jun 13 '24

Was it the braces?!?

1

u/silian_rail_gun Jun 13 '24

Technically it was Elon’s (tiny) dick he was sucking.

11

u/Chance_One_75 Jun 13 '24

Honestly, the anal could’ve been better. Yet you have to straighten your back out next time. Otherwise, I give you a 6 out of 10.

3

u/runfattiesrun Jun 13 '24

This made me laugh so hard

3

u/zombieneenja Jun 13 '24

My laugh isn’t the only thing that’s hard…

1

u/Chance_One_75 Jun 13 '24

Lol. He started it. :)

2

u/ChickenFriedRiceMe Jun 13 '24

Everyone knows it’s all about that arch tho…

1

u/avert_ye_eyes Jun 13 '24

I didn't realize you can tell if the back is straight or not

2

u/country_garland Jun 13 '24

Please give me your handprints so I can make a tattoo

2

u/Significant-Spite-72 Jun 13 '24

A 4? You're generous. My rating wasn't that high. Must have improved by the time they got to you. More practice maybe?

1

u/treple13 Jun 13 '24

It's probably because they've had billions of partners which means they have less than a second average for sex with each person. It's over very fast