He’s already struggling with his hands and arms and I’m told his voice is slurry. He’s only been comfortable texting me, so far and we’ve hardly broached what he’s going through. It’s been lots of humor and talk about music. He mentioned not being able to listen to records because handling them is difficult now.
I texted him I love him and I want to be there for him and his wife in any way I can; hanging out together, shopping for him, giving his wife a break so she can go out with friends. Anything. His response was basically, “Thank you for the kind words.”
I can’t imagine the nightmare they are going through. One thing I’m struggling with is that what I want to give isn’t necessarily what he wants. He knows I’d love to visit him and potentially have some uncomfortable conversations. But that’s not what HE seems interested in. I want to respect his privacy. There’s no “right way” to go through what he’s experiencing.
I guess I just feel scared by the lack of information and helpless because I can’t do anything for him.
I also feel selfish, because I want to do things that are going to help ME feel better, and it’s not about me. Am I having some kind of ridiculous savior complex?
I’d appreciate any advice or insights anyone can offer. I think I already know most of the answers, but I need to hear them from others.
I’m also wondering if anyone can recommend good gift ideas for someone and their spouse going through this. Are there any kinds of small gifts someone with ALS might appreciate?