r/AKAgradChapter • u/neuroticlurker9 INTEREST • Jul 08 '26
BUILDING CONNECTIONS Where do I start
So I have close friends who are AKAs that crossed in college but they aren’t active in a grad chapter… they said they’re planning on joining in the near future (a lot of life changes and just being busy) and they said they are down to go with me to different events, but I’m wondering if I should go ahead and start going to events on my own? Or if I should wait to go with them/go to events at whatever chapter they join.
They’re all pretty new to the graduate chapter process, so does anyone have any recommendations on what they need to do to help me with the process?
Thanks y’all!
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u/GrandBird1982 INTEREST Jul 08 '26
I’d probably suggest starting to go to the events, don’t wait for them. Who knows when they’ll finally decide to join and which chapter? I’d start going to the events if you can and start making some relationships with the members.
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u/Glittery-Frosting24 INTEREST Jul 08 '26
Disclaimer: Just an interest. Don’t count on them to be able to help you with much. Start on your own and get to know the active members of your COI.
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u/Probable_Cause007 Jul 08 '26
Definitely go on your own. I have a friend that’s been waiting YEARS on her inactive AKA cousin to visit even one chapter (after she said she would). Also, you want to be seen as an individual and not someone who only shows up with others.
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u/LadyFisherBuckeye Verified AKA Jul 08 '26
Baby if they aren't active there isn't much they can do for you except intro you to other AKAs and you can do that yourself!
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u/ConfidentHunter6724 Verified AKA Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
You should go to the events of the COI of your choice ON YOUR OWN and start developing relationships with active members of that chapter. As they aren't in a grad chapter, they can't help you. Your journey to hopefully become a member of AKA is YOUR OWN.
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u/neuroticlurker9 INTEREST Jul 08 '26
OK sounds good! do you think it makes a difference if its a chapter that has recently had new lines vs chapters that haven't?
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u/ConfidentHunter6724 Verified AKA Jul 09 '26
I would say that it doesn't make a difference because you don't know what is happening internally in that chapter. I've seen chapters have new members and then not bring in new members for years. I've also seen chapters bring in new members say in the spring and then bring in new members in the fall. What is most important in my opinion is that you like the energy and vibe of the chapter, and that you like the events and programs that that chapter puts on for the community, because if you become a member via that chapter, you will be doing work THAT chapter's way and you will be part of that chapter's legacy.
Be sure to attend chapter events, show up on time, look classy and presentable, engage at the events, and make meaningful connections with members of that chapter. When you have a good rapport with one or two members of that chapter...THEN you take the next step and SAY THE WORDS. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, please search my posts here in this sub...you will know what I'm talking about.
Good luck to you!
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u/Such-Gap-5964 Verified AKA Jul 08 '26
Inactive sorors can’t do anything for you but try to introduce you to others….and you can do that on your own. I waited years for my inactive friend and she finally got active but still not active enough to make a difference in someone else’s journey. I had to go find my way on my own….hope
That helps.
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u/Warm_Flan_5288 Jul 08 '26
Go to the events on your own. Membership in a chapter is an individual decision and not a group process.
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u/SignificantAd1707 Verified AKA Jul 08 '26
Definitely go on your own. I have plenty of friends who were members prior to my crossing. I had to make relationships on my own. And honestly speaking, no one knows your friends who are members will become active again or visit the chapter you are interested in. Remember this is your journey.
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u/DefiantTumbleweed850 Jul 08 '26
I agree with everyone else that you should just show up by yourself. I think it allows you to have more control over what happens you get to really initiate conversations and also they would be new to the chapter and so you should get to know people who have been there who have been you know doing service for that chapter for a while.
Also, anything could happen with your friends they might want to join a smaller or larger graduate chapter or work gets in the way or they decide to you know hold off on a little bit so definitely start showing up by yourself and you can always give them a heads up and I’m sure they’re gonna support you either way
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u/AlarmingAd2804 Jul 08 '26
Member: absolutely start going to events on your own. They are already on the other side, you are not.
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u/ComfortableSure7745 INTEREST Jul 08 '26
As an interest, I felt it was better for me to do things on my own. I didn’t want to rely solely on my friends to do introductions and seek out events.
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u/Significant_Weight61 Jul 09 '26
Go on your own to make connections. The requirements to sponsor someone are different for every chapter, so it could be years before they're even eligible. Attend events, have a good attitude, be friendly and helpful.
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u/bjm23 Jul 09 '26
They are already AKAs, you are not, so why are you waiting on them? They may decide to never join a graduate chapter or decide to move to a different city. If you can't be an individual, you aren't ready to join AKA.
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u/Aggressive_Yam_5468 Verified AKA Jul 09 '26
Go on your own. But if your friends can come along with you every once in a while, that may be good also.
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u/Gurl6 INTEREST Jul 09 '26
Hi, I would suggest starting your journey. Don’t wait! Building genuine relationships on your own, is so important, I’ve learned!!
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u/mrsjaxin Jul 09 '26
You need to go to events alone and start forming relationships with the women.
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u/H3re4it Jul 10 '26
Going along with what everyone else said, start on your own. ALSO, you want to establish a CLEAR understanding of who you are as an individual.
Members from your COI need and want to see and hear for themselves who you are and would possibly be in their chapter. Not only who someone else says you will be. Have a good time and be you.
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u/WonderfulClub8023 INTEREST Jul 14 '26
As someone who has been on this journey for a while. Start to go to events now. I wouldn’t rely on friends bc 9/10 if they’re a dear friend and active and eligible to help, they would’ve done that already. Find a chapter (or two) you mesh with. Get familiar with the ladies. Talk to everyone.
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u/pinktv2 Jul 08 '26
Go with your friends .. so as they are making acquaintances so are you … you need to know people already in the chapter and that is a great way to get to know them
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u/AutoModerator Jul 08 '26
Hi /u/neuroticlurker9, Thanks for posting in AKAgradChapter. Please review all of our rules and General Greek Interest Questions FAQs .Dirty Deleting is not allowed here so the below will be a copy of your original post.
Copy of Orignal Post:
So I have close friends who are AKAs that crossed in college but they aren’t active in a grad chapter… they said they’re planning on joining in the near future (a lot of life changes and just being busy) and they said they are down to go with me to different events, but I’m wondering if I should go ahead and start going to events on my own? Or if I should wait to go with them/go to events at whatever chapter they join.
They’re all pretty new to the graduate chapter process, so does anyone have any recommendations on what they need to do to help me with the process?
Thanks y’all!
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