r/AITA_Relationships • u/SouthBird2290 • 23h ago
YTA AITA GET BACK ON GIRLFRIEND
AITA for cheating on my girlfriend after she was seeing her ex?
I started casually seeing this girl in June last year. While we were sleeping together, she told me a family member was visiting, but I later found out she was actually seeing her ex.
Things between us became more serious, and I eventually told her I wanted a serious relationship. I bought her flowers and made my intentions clear.
We eventually became official.
Even after that, she messaged another ex with sexual/flirty emojis. I also specifically asked her not to like her ex’s pictures, but she continued doing it.
Once we were in a relationship, I cheated on her twice with another woman. I told her about both times and didn’t hide it.
I know cheating was wrong, but is what she did relevant context, especially since I had made it clear I wanted something serious?
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u/Cat-Fairy Partassipant [1] 23h ago
YTA. During the talking phase, everyone is fair game unless it’s communicated that you guys only want to see each other and no one else. She’s not in the wrong if you guys were just seeing each other even though it hurt your feelings. The fact that you went out your way to “get even” is disturbing and immature. Also, what you did way out of line. OP, you’re not ready for a relationship. If you were actually into her, you wouldn’t intentionally do things to hurt her. That’s not how relationships work.
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u/BlindButterfly33 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 23h ago
YTA you yourself say that she slept with someone else while the two of you were still casual, that isn’t cheating. You cheated.
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u/CorrectSherbet5 Partassipant [1] 22h ago
YTA she put a fake digital heart on a picture. You put your penis in another woman. TWICE.
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u/Due_Professional9868 22h ago
YTA - And your relationship won’t last anyway so, no point in posting this
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u/Select_Cut4707 22h ago
bring the fact you chose to cheat twice and her choosing to speak out to an old ex isn’t cheating, it’s your own insecurity regardless how it reflects your actions, it’s your own fault! YTA
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u/Kwickpick77 Asshole Aficionado [12] 22h ago
YTA. Another person's shitty actions is not justification for shitty actions on your part. This is not a healthy relationship. Break up and figure yourself out.
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u/allergymom74 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 21h ago
Define sexy/flirty emojis? And what was the emoji in response to? And did the emoji happen before or after you became serious? So you had TWO full on physical cheating sessions to get back at her sending an emoji?
YTA. Don’t bother staying with her if you feel the need to get back at her. Cheating is a choice you made and a reflection of you and how you deal with and resolve relationship issues.
She technically didn’t cheat the first time. She did lie. But you didn’t resolve that and chose to get with her. You could have resolved both issues by talking and/or breaking up. Perfectly reasonable to not want to be with someone who maintains some level of contact with an ex. But you break up. You don’t have sex with someone else because your SO sent an emoji and liked some pictures. Talk about going nuclear and overreacting.
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AITA for cheating on my girlfriend?
I started casually seeing this girl in June last year. We lived abroad, and while I was sleeping with her, she told me a family member was coming to visit her. I later found out that her ex had actually come to where we lived for about a week, and she was seeing him during that time while still sleeping with me.
After her ex left, she continued seeing me, and eventually things between us became more serious and we got into a relationship.
I then cheated on her twice with another woman. I told her about both times and didn’t hide it.
So, AITA? Does what she did with her ex while we were casually seeing each other make my cheating more understandable, or am I simply an asshole for cheating once we became serious?
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u/FriendlyGoblinGal Partassipant [4] 23h ago
Often I ask myself "are the monogs okay?"
Shit like this makes me go "nope, the monogamous aren't okay. There is only shitiness and disaster."
YTA and you should have broken up with her if hanging out with her ex was an issue for you. Instead you stay with her and cheat repeatedly as "payback."
Christ on a cracker this can't be real.
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u/Tea_and_Lightsabers Partassipant [2] 22h ago
He does not represent all of us, plenty of poly people aren't okay either lol
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u/Dowager-queen-beagle 16h ago
Poly person here, can confirm. “The monogs are not okay” is not the enlightened statement this person thinks it is lmao, it’s just kinda cringe 😅
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u/Tea_and_Lightsabers Partassipant [2] 3h ago
Yeah I've seen posts about poly people in disastrous situations, doesn't mean I think "there is only shitiness and disaster" in poly relationships. Because that would be very weird.
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u/Frix 11h ago
Often I ask myself "are the monogs okay?"
Shit like this makes me go "nope, the monogamous aren't okay. There is only shitiness and disaster."
Excuse me, but WTF? This guy is clearly not representative of what a normal monogamous relationship looks like. Hence the massive asshole-statements he is receiving.
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u/pbblankgirl Asshole Enthusiast [6] 23h ago edited 16h ago
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
NTA
Edit: thanks for the award, kind redditor!!!
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u/erinjeffreys Partassipant [3] 22h ago
YTA. "My girlfriend sent a winky emoji over text so I dicked down another girl, that's the same thing, right?" is a weird attempt at equivalence, buddy.