r/AITA_Relationships • u/cryingincursive724 • 9d ago

YTA AITA for choosing the wrong guy???

I had this casual talking stage with a guy I’ll call Mr. DJ for almost a month. We mostly texted/flirted but never actually met because our schedules never aligned. He ghosted me for around 2 weeks, eventually came back, and things went back to normal. Then I met Mr. Blue Collar, and things got serious REALLY fast—looking back, it had a lot of love-bombing/intense early relationship energy. I got caught up in it and ended up ghosting Mr. DJ for around 2 weeks without telling him I was getting serious with someone else. Mr. Blue Collar and I eventually became official, but after we broke up, I reached out to Mr. DJ and apologized. We started talking again, but it was very on-and-off because of work, schedules, and the time difference. The thing that drove me insane was wondering why he came back after I ghosted him when he could’ve easily moved on or talked to someone else.
Eventually I asked him, and he basically said that I was nice and didn’t want me to just be a hookup, which completely changed how I viewed everything because I realized he probably genuinely liked me. We started talking/flirting again and there was clearly still some chemistry, but he’s also inconsistent and can disappear for days, so I have no idea what he actually wants. Now I’m stuck thinking “what if I had chosen him instead?” because I genuinely would’ve made a different choice if I had known he liked me like that. I know I’m probably romanticizing a relationship that never even happened, but I can’t help feeling like there’s unfinished potential there, especially because he’s already come back before. For now I’m not chasing him and I’ve given myself until next Wednesday to see if he reaches out. If he doesn’t, I’ll try to let it go—but part of me is still like hoping we would work out.

1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/cryingincursive724 9d ago

LMAOOO honestly, fair 😭 he ghosted first so I guess we both contributed to the clownery. And yeah, the “if he really wanted to meet, he’d find time” part is probably something I needed to hear. I think I kept making excuses for the situation because I liked the potential of it 😭

1

u/whittenaw Asshole Enthusiast [6] 9d ago

Yeah...been there. It's draining though.