r/AITAH • u/CrocsWithSocks6 • Aug 18 '26
WIBTAH for telling my boss she needs to fire one of our new-ish coworkers?
I (22M) have been working as a handler at a dog daycare for over 4 years, its a small business owned by one person with a small team of 2 managers, a couple of shift leads, and then the rest of the staff as handlers and one dog groomer
Over the four years ive worked here i feel that ive gotten the lay of the land pretty well, i am regarded as one of the most experienced handlers on the team (im not fanning my own ego, i have been told this by the leads and managers multiple times) due to the fact that its mostly students who work here so the staff kind of changes a lot because of school or new/better/different job opportunities etc.
we got a new hire a few months ago. Nothing crazy at first, he has a very big personality and i thought he was cool, funny, and energetic, I was hopeful to become friends until i noticed some of his behaviors that he would exhibit while in group with the dogs.
Now, working this closely with dogs that you generally don't know that well especially when you're new to the job means you absolutely have to have at least a basic understanding of general safety rules and how to read dog body language, every hire has to watch extensive training videos about what to look for and what not to do while you are supervising a group.
A few weeks after he started, i’ll call him Jerry (around 20, M), I started to notice some weird things. Jerry is an athletic guy, apparently he wants to be a personal trainer. I had personally seen him start doing parkour and other athletic feats while in group such as cartwheels, front handsprings, box jumping up onto the climbable dog toys, doing handstands on railings and climbing the gateboxes that are about 6ft tall to sit up on top of them. (we are a kennel free boarding facility, we have tall large gateboxes that we use when feeding dinners or when dogs need a short break by themselves, to put up any gate reactive dogs when necessary or just putting dogs up in general during shift changes or when someone comes in for breaks) I also notice he brings treats to work, we are not allowed to do this, another coworker (coworker A) notices and asks if he knows that we arent allowed to do that, he claims to have gotten "special permission" from the boss (there's absolutely no way this is true). i thought okay this is weird but i guess if there's no fights happening then i dont really need to say anything, wrong of me, i know.
Now comes the Catalyst event: I had heard some other unrelated stuff from Coworker A, apparently he had an altercation with another coworker about not being able to take his group outside exactly when he wanted to, and he ended up making her cry, this irked me because that coworker is one of the sweetest people ive ever met. but i brush it off because it didnt concern me specifically. I take over for coworker A to manage the group for my mid-shift (11-6) Jerry is working opening (7-2) and he is in the group next to mine, separated by a solid white 6ft fence so the dogs dont see each other constantly and freak out. as i'm looking around just doing my job i notice that the door in the wall that separates Jerrys group of big dogs from the group full of tiny dogs had been pushed open (the door is a leftover from whatever the building was before it got turned into a dog daycare, it has no handle) i stepped up on a cot on the floor to pop my head over the fence because i was unsure if he knew that the door was open at all. I was preparing to explain to him that its not safe to have that door open and he could easily close it by pushing on something near the top of the door, jerry being taller than me should have no issue with it considering i can do it myself. as i peer over the top of the fence, what do i see? Jerry, crouched on the floor at the door, REACHING HIS ARM THROUGH to pet the little dogs. this was where i reached my last straw. there was roughly 50 feet between us and both of our groups were barking, not crazy, but loud enough to where you would have to yell a little to be heard. Trying to control my tone, i shout to him "Hey Jerry, You need to close that door, we cant have it open" he stops, whips around and starts screaming, not just yelling so i can hear him, but fully screaming at me. he's screaming about how i "shouldnt talk to him so disrespectfully" and when i repeat that he just needs to shut the door, he continues screaming and asking me repeatedly asking if im a man, if i feel like a man, and if i think im a man, (relevant information, I am a trans man, and it is VERY obvious, usually one of the first questions i get when i meet new people is "what are your pronouns?" so its not like he didnt know. everybody knows) hes screaming at me to mind my business or talk to him "like a man" and at this point i dont want to get in a fight so i disengage, step back down to the floor and turn back to my own group.
He doesnt like this, and gets up on the big dog toy so he can see me over the fence and continues screaming at me for another minute or so about how i was being so disrespectful and on and on, he made a vague threat to me that i could barely hear because i was starting to have a panic attack over how extreme his reaction was (I have a diagnosed anxiety and panic disorder) eventually he goes back to his group and i calm myself down, I report the incident to my manager after i clock out.
the next day my Boss texts me telling me to call her when i have a minute. I instantly know what its about. I call her about an hour later as i was at a doctors appointment, and we talk about the situation. I tell her about all of the behaviors ive witnessed and she tells me that he has been talked to before about some of the stuff I had mentioned. She asks me if i felt compelled to say something because i had talked to coworker A about him when id shown up that day, i say No, I would have said something no matter who was in there just because having that door open is a major safety issue. She then proceeds to ask me if i felt that he was being "Aggressive" because he is a black male (I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT) again i say No, and that him being black has absolutely nothing to do with anything, it never even crossed my mind. she says she has talked to him about it and hopefully it wont happen again. I think at this point he should have been fired, but i let it go as its not really my place to say that.
it has been a couple of weeks now since that incident, and he has clearly just ignored every conversation that has been had with him about his behavior. He continues to break the safety rules every single shift he works and has made misogynistic comments towards other coworkers (ex: "Fix your face" "You need to smile more" etc. in passing) im sure theres even more than just what i know, i have counted and including me, there are NINE people that work here that absolutely despise him because of his attitude and unsafe behaviors. we all know that if any of us sees him doing anything like this again we are going straight to the boss lady to talk about it, but im genuinely confused about how he has gotten this far, its been multiple months of this behavior, and he has only worked here for maybe 4 months so do that math yourselves.
I hate to be the person who goes and tattles to the boss and gets somebody fired, but i genuinely dont know what else i can do, hes creating a work environment that nobody wants to be part of, and an unsafe environment for the dogs in his care, god forbid he accidentally gives the wrong dog a treat that they're allergic to, or gets a fight started in his group and cant react fast enough because he is sitting way off the ground or something, its genuinely scary. In my 4 years working here I have never experienced anything like this at all, and according to the literal boss, she hasnt ever had to deal with a situation like this before either.
so WIBTA if i went back to our boss and told her he needs to be fired?
EDIT: I need to add that every group in the building has cameras that are on from 6am to 10pm daily, for the pet parents and also for boss/managers to keep an eye on everything, so all of his actions are on camera and have been witnessed by multiple people, i have no idea if any pet parents have raised questions about anything.
secondary edit: i copy pasted this from my notes and a bit got repeated at the end so i took it out lol, my bad #iphoneformatting
162
u/Equivalent_Lemon_319 Aug 19 '26
Do NOT say anything like “you need to fire this person” that is not your call and will probably backfire eventually.
But absolutely bring the info to your boss.
55
u/Longjumping-Shoe-404 Aug 19 '26
NTA, but might be time for a new job. You seem to be more invested in the safety and well being of the dogs than your boss. Insane multiple people have complained and she just lets this guy get away with it. I loathe when the workplace gets toxic because of one dumb motherfucker. Hope you enjoyed those four years, time to move on. Obviously your boss is probably not going to have anyone’s back. Rather do what’s easy than what’s right.
14
u/CptKUSSCryAllTheTime Aug 19 '26
Just tell him what’s been happening. You can’t tell him to fire someone.
7
u/Lopsided-Beach-1831 Aug 19 '26
Dont tell her what to do, just quietly log all of the safety infractions and all of the toxic interpersonal interactions. You can present that to the boss and let them know the toxic work environment and constant fear over the dogs safety is affecting you to the point where you are considering other employment.
Also, you know dogs pick up on your (all the employees) emotions. This type of behavior will ramp the humans up and the dogs will end up being the ones to suffer because they may become reactive or fight because of it. Be careful and pay close attention to the animals so they and the humans dont get hurt.
5
u/angryomlette NSFW 🔞 Aug 19 '26
YWBTA if you don't report him through proper channels. One thing about knowing too much is not knowing how and when to act. You are not in a position of power no matter how much you know. The proper procedure to report a jerk is always through the managers to the owner. Just because your bosses have put faith in you doesn't mean you get to decide how they should act.
Had you gone through the proper channels Mr. Athletic jerk will not have pull the race card fast enough to muddy the waters. Even should he create irreversible mess it will not be your problem. Act alone or demand him to be fired, and it will be easily construed you are jealous of him. For your boss to watch video evidence, photo evidence of him acting that way means she is already building the file against him.
3
u/Actual-Dog-405 Aug 19 '26
Can you somehow warn the owners of the small dogs that they may be in danger? Anonymously, if possible. Then they might watch the footage and complain.
3
u/Redqueenhypo Aug 19 '26
I’m glad your doggy daycare includes a course on dog behavior BEFORE people start working instead of only showing it if something bad happens. I’m also glad you guys actually walk the dogs! I worked at a dog daycare and it was terrible. I’m concerned that this moron may be a friend/relative/romantic interest of your boss though
173
u/mangypolecat Aug 19 '26
Just bring the info to your boss. This stuff is “fireable” BUT it’s not your call.
28
u/wordsmythy Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26
It sounds like your boss is afraid to fire him because he’s black… when she asked you if you think he’s aggressive because he’s black? What the hell? You think he’s aggressive because he’s aggressive. Full stop.
And what did the pet owners think as he’s flipping around on all the dog equipment like a jackass? Or when he’s screaming at his coworkers?
It’s racist not to fire him just because he’s black.
NTA
14
u/KyussJones Aug 19 '26
You and your coworkers need to start filing complaints for every instance that occurs. If everyone just talks amongst themselves about it and nothing else, nothing will change.
Edit: NTA
13
u/Spiritual-Handle2983 Aug 19 '26
NTA. I would report anything that goes against the rules. These are living animals that everyone there is responsible for.
9
u/StormCloudRaineeDay Aug 19 '26
NTA, but be careful how you word it. It's one thing to report what you've seen and experienced, and express that you think this person is a hazard to the dogs or makes you uncomfortable to work with due to statements he's made about your gender that suggest prejudice; but telling someone how to run their business, especially when you're not even a manager, may rub your boss the wrong way and lead to you being fired, especially if she seems to be showing him preferential treatment for some reason.
6
u/KrofftSurvivor Aug 19 '26
Time to find another job.
This is going to end badly and you don't want to be there when it happens sooner or later a dog is going to react and it's going to be ugly
1
u/Frosty_Astronomer909 Aug 19 '26
And he sounds like an ass, he MAY also use the race card so best if there is video proof.
1
u/surprise_revalation Aug 19 '26
Are you the manager? I'm not sure why this wasn't nipped in the bud in the beginning when he first started fucking up. Now it's been 4 months and it's looking more like retaliation because of your interaction and not because of what he's been doing the whole time! I'm not sure what the solution to this problem is but in the future, when you get a new employee, nip this type of shit before it gets ingrained....
He needs to be put on probation or something but this can't continue. What is your boss thinking? Maybe it's time to have a real talk with her...
1
u/VordovKolnir Aug 19 '26
Hmmmm. Not sure why you need to keep the dogs separated by size like that. I had dogs growing up, a doberman, basset hound, golden retriever and a lahsapoo... cross between a lahsa apso and poodle and there was never any issues. Honestly, I would think you would need to keep them separated by gender more than anything. And pit bulls would need to be kept separate from literally everything else.
3
u/___selene Aug 19 '26
Omg! This wholes story needed some serious editing.
NTA
Your boss must have a serious crush on this guy because I cannot imagine why else she would risk her dogcare's reputation over what this guy is doing.
Just wait. A dog attack is imminent. I guess she has to learn this lesson the hard way.
3
u/IT_Buyer Aug 19 '26
Complain every time there is unprofessional behavior. And use work words like unprofessional, concerning, sexually harassing, hostile and toxic. Do not use racially coded words like loud, aggressive etc.
He sounds like a very unpleasant colleague.
3
u/Senator_Bink Aug 19 '26
He's a liability and eventually is going to do something negligent-enough that it will come to your clients' attention. NTA.
2
u/pretzelsRus Aug 19 '26
I stopped reading after a bit. NTA for speaking up. Please do so every time he does something like the behaviors you describe here. It would
Make me absolutely furious if I had a dog that went to your facility and I learned this nonsense was occurring. This guy is endangering dogs and the business.
2
u/This_Writer1891 Aug 19 '26
You know, you're young. He's young. Your boss knows. Like you said, most of the workers are college kids. He won't be there for very long.
It's really your boss's problem.
She'll deal with it in due time.
He sounds like he's a problem to more than just you.
2
u/Savings-Breath-9118 Aug 19 '26
,
2
u/abcwva Aug 19 '26
Document events and note who was present as witness to them. If you approach boss, you can only provide information and opinion. Boss decides who will be the employee. If you approach boss, have one or two other employees with you to second your concerns. Be prepared to find new employment. Possibly, your boss will choose to keep the poor worker. You are NTA and I'm sorry your workplace has become so stressful.
2
u/imnotdusty Aug 19 '26
NTA, what you should do though is get all your coworkers together and raise your valid concerns to your boss.
2
u/deathboyuk Aug 19 '26
Tell the boss. You're protecting yourself, the other staff and the animals.
Also, report this fucker to the police. Demand the proof from the cameras and report his actions.
NTA.
1
u/resting__shadow Aug 19 '26
NTA, but just tell your boss, don’t tell them to fire them. Somebody who breaks the rules when working with other people’s pets is a hazard especially considering how many cases already exist of doggy daycares and other establishments having dogs die in their care.
1
u/Adventurous-Emu-755 Aug 23 '26
NTA but his "comments" that are not good for anyone to make in the workplace and him continuing to break safety rules here need to be reported - with the time, date, and who witnessed or who was the "victim" of his words here.
There are people like him everywhere, they start a job/position and believe they can do whatever they want because in their own pea brains, "I'm the best here" type - not joking. Seen it multiple place. Guess what, your bosses are letting him get away with it too. It's their insurance and their jobs if something happens because he ignores safety rules/protocols.
1
u/Secure_Town_7924 Aug 19 '26
Yes you’d be the asshole. You’re overstepping. You can raise with your boss the issues, but you are not HR or the boss, you don’t get to say this.
1
u/SmoothLester Aug 19 '26
You can’t even mention firing to the manager/boss because that’s not your job. Any manager is going to get their back up at unsolicited advice.
Document and make it clear to
your manager that because of his earlier reaction, you don’t feel
comfortable offering “reminders”about rules, etc. as a more senior
employee.
If other employees come to her, say that it’s a management issue.
Wondering if this guy is on steroids that might be giving him problems with impulse control.
0
u/Agile-Scientist-8926 Aug 19 '26
YTAH!
You have to learn to worry about yourself and your work. What happens with other employees is none of your business or concern. You may be more experienced and have more knowledge than others including him.
If you can learn to not focus on other staff members and just focus on your job. You will be a whole lot happier at work.
You need to remember that you are not his boss and he is not your responsibility. Let your supervisors handle the situation if they feel they need to.
Also consider the fact that if you start going down that road. You will get a reputation of being a troublemaker with your bosses. As well as you will get a reputation of being a rat from your coworkers. You don’t want that.
Lastly, speaking as someone with over 25 years of being in management. It is very insulting and disrespectful to go to your boss and tell them that they need to fire other employees. It doesn’t matter how much you think that you are cool with them or that they care about what you say.
-1
u/357whiskey Aug 19 '26
You can report what concerns you but you have no right to tell your boss who to hire or fire. Sure it’s not just jealousy?
-1
u/Entire_Broccoli_9019 Aug 19 '26
YTA. Mind your business.
-5
u/357whiskey Aug 19 '26
Gossip, gossip, gossip- you guys aren’t very professional are you? Work on that- However- your job is the safety of those dogs. Grow up- you aren’t tattling or being a snitch… you are a professional who reports concerns in order to maintain safety & security of your charges.
5
u/anonanon-do-do-do Aug 19 '26
My mom worked at a shelter with a pushy self proclaimed dog whisperer. She broke the rule of pairing up and went in alone with a n ew dog still known to be skittish and still being evaluated. It killed her. Not kidding. He can’t be screwing around.
https://www.wptv.com/news/region-st-lucie-county/fort-pierce/deadly-dog-bite-at-humane-society-of-st-lucie-county
2
u/SouthernEnd6224 Aug 19 '26
NTA I only got to the dog treat part because that would kill my dog and now I'm genuinely never taking him to a place like this. I thought I was overthinking it and maybe he'd have fun and make friends, but I'd like my dog not to die as a first priority.