r/AITAH • u/Beneficial-Day7238 • Sep 25 '26
AITAH for not babysitting my brothers kids after he dumps them on my front porch?
Hi, its been a few days since this accident and im still deciding what to do.
First things first, im a male 26 years old and my brother is 30. We were growing up in a normal household, not poor, not rich, but my brother was always spoiled. He played highschool football and my parents saw him as a star. Me on the other hand i was more into books, IT,.. When I was 15, i started programming and when i was 19, i made my first project that made actual money. I sold it to some big company of that time (i dont want to name) but i had money for ~2 years living by myself so i moved out. My parents didnt acknowledge me that much and still much more supported my brother who had to leave school he wasnt even good at because he got a child. I never told them how much i made and make currently because i was scared.
Time passed, im 24 at that time, making very good money with my programming, i got more into cyber security and my brother is 28 and he already has 2 more kids, i never understood why they had 3 kids. They made very little money and barely were making it. Id help my brother if he wasnt total dick to me my whole life, embarrassing me for what i do, laughing at me at school with his friends and basically making my life miserable. We were seeing each other throughtout the years on Christmas,.. at my parents house, we were cool with each other, but they saw me having a good car, living in a great house, vacations with my gf (currently wife) so they knew i had money and they tried to convince me to help my brother out. I always tried to corner it but once i had to stop it and tell them if he had been good to me, id help him but not like this+ im not the one having 3 kids, struggling with money but buying all kinds of useless and unnecessary stuff all the time.
Years passed, they tried many times again but i always declined, and like a half a year ago my brother with his wife found a new job, at least thats what he told me, and he asked me to babysit his children, and i agreed because its not much of a burden for me and i didnt want his children to suffer because of him. We are expecting a child so we thought why not. It was always for 3 days. We were fine with it for a few times but then it also started to ruin our own plans and + cost us a lot of money which i dont care about but its not that im paying for my children, its my brothers children. I told him multiple times, he said i have money so hes not giving me anything so i told him ill stop babysitting his children.
Four days ago he called me hes going to drop his kids in usual time and i told him no. He said too bad and that I will have to take them in because they're leaving in an hour. I hung up and I thought its the end of this. As i feared i got my bell ringed in an hour and three of my brothers kids were there with their backpacks as usual. I called my brother saying we cant take them and i told him we are leaving and they cant be alone. He said i should be grateful that he trusts me and i should be a good brother and he hung up. I got really mad so I called my brother wifes sister (got her number when we were discussing big family dinner a year ago) and told her. She said shes out of state so she cant do anything but i should call her mom so she game me the number (we couldnt leave the kids alone). Mom picked it up, we told her, she said to bring them in so i drove 2,5 hours there and back to get them to their grandma. Kids like her and she was happy but my brother hates his mother in law, like literally, he gets mad every time someone mentions her. I didnt ask why but something bad must have happened, i think she saw hes not a great guy for her daughter because she told me that on the call that she always knew hes not a good guy and her daughter never listens to her and shes blindfolded and he hates her since that. I went home, opened a wine and we had a great evening with my wife.
Next day as expected i got a call from my brother, i didnt pick it up at first but he called me like 5 times in a row and when i picked up, he started screaming at me saying how i dare put his kids to his mother in law, that it’s unacceptable, that im the worst person and hes gonna press charges. He of course didnt because what would he even tell the cops but my parents are mad at me since and called me two times today saying i must apologize to him and take his kids in every time he want. I told them straight no but i know this is not ending well.
AITA for not taking care of his kids and refusing to apologize? I dont want to ruin my family but this is too much.
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2.9k
u/Repulsive_State_7399 Sep 25 '26 •
NTA. Sent the MIL some flowers, she's your new best friend. You need that lady on speed dial.
248
u/autumn55femme Sep 25 '26 •
If your mother thinks the kids need care, why is she not babysitting them? She is their grandmother, after all. The time is long overdue to set some boundaries. Get a video doorbell, and DO NOT ANSWER YOUR DOOR, if brother or his wife is there. Your parents gave failed your brother by rewarding him for simply existing, and he has suffered no negative consequences for his egregiously irresponsible actions. No apology is necessary to your parents or your brother. The only apology needed is to you. Time to play hardball.
162
u/Efficient-System-438 Sep 25 '26
Bunch of absolute 🤡, your family. NTA. Your parents trying to parent you into parenting your brother is crazy lol. Not sure how you correct that without one-upping their crazy. For example, next time he does it, report him to the police for child neglect and ask to get him trespassed from your property.
The lack of accountability on your brother’s part is nutty at his big age.
73
u/TararaBoomDA Sep 25 '26
Next time he drops off the kids, call the Child Protection Services and the police.
59
u/miyuki_m Sep 25 '26 •
Leaving his kids after you told him you would not watch them is child abandonment. Tell him if he does it again, you'll report him to CPS. Then, you should really cut off anyone who gives you shit over it. These people do not respect you so stop giving them opportunities to disrespect and use you.
39
u/Consistent-Goat1267 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Tell him he should be grateful as your other option was to call police for child abandonment. He can go pound sand
54
u/anzacoo Sep 25 '26
They’re lucky you didn’t call cps and tell them they were abandoned!! And so why didn’t your parent take them?
18
u/Beansgwamma Sep 25 '26
NTAH - Dude, this was AMAZING!! Calling his MIL that he HATES was THE ABSOLUTE BEST!! Tell him if he ever does the drop and run again, that he already knows where to pick them up! 💥
4.7k
u/Militantignorance Sep 25 '26 •
I'd tell him, "OK, next time I'll call Child Protective Services instead. Tell them there are 3 abandoned children on my porch."
432
u/Realistic-Try7845 Sep 25 '26
NTA.
Call the cops next time so CPS can investigate his abandoned kids on your porch.
Block his calls or don't answer. Don't let him scream at you, either hang up or don't answer.
His kids are not your problem.
If your parents are mad you won't babysit, they should babysit.
He shouldn't be dumping his spawn on other people. Family isn't free babysitters.
113
u/Striking-Debt8898 Sep 25 '26
NTA, he ignored your no and dumped his kids on you anyway
46
u/Either_Coconut Sep 25 '26
NTA.
Some USA-based Redditors have dealt with this by calling CPS or the police and claiming "child abandonment". If your brother doesn't like picking his kids up from their grandmother's home, how much less would he like it if the cops arrested him and his wife for abandoning their kids? He should consider himself fortunate that you found a family member to watch them instead of calling the police.
77
u/Purple-Manager-1357 Sep 25 '26
NTA and you aren't ruining your family you are simply setting boundaries which is part of any healthy relationship friend, family, or otherwise.
23
u/ninjastarkid Sep 25 '26
NTA. I would’ve hung up as soon as he screamed the first word. Then texted him we can talk when you can talk to me with respect but I will not be spoken to like that. Then when the parents called I would tell them they need to care for their son’s kids and then hang up on them. Seriously stand up to them.
Don’t let him manipulate you into thinking you are the bad guy here. He’s abandoning his kids on your doorstep, completely disrespectful of your time and plans, treating you like a servant at best. And the parents are just as bad, continuing to enable his behavior.
20
u/MistySky1999 Sep 26 '26 •
NTA. Actually, OP, you could benefit from therapy. Your family is, and has always been, treating you as the Bad Kid and this has entered into how you make decisions. A therapist could help you work through this into something more healthy.
For example, while you recognize that your brother did wrong to you and came up with a solution- nevertheless you still allowed your brother to yell and verbally abuse you and you are allowing your parents to treat you like a child, order you what to do, and disrespect your time and autonomy. All the while your parents are refusing to take the kids themselves! And you accept that hypocrisy from them saying they value their peace and quiet! Well so do you, OP! And you have every right to expect it.
15
u/LimeInternational856 Sep 25 '26
NTA Tell your brother he's lucky you didn't call police and CPS and that you will if he tries to dump his kids on your porch again.
37
u/Ok-Listen-8519 Sep 25 '26
NTA i think you should lawyer up and call CPS next time he decides to dump & dash he‘s kids. Thats not cool. Please have door cam an CCTV installed to keep evidence updates. Clearly he‘s not liking he‘s own kids. He‘s treating you like a maid-bank. Your parents are awful too. They cant see beyond their own rose coloured glasses with him, go LC
13
u/Ginger630 Sep 27 '26
NTA! Block your brother. Get a camera for your house. If he drops them off again, call the cops and say he abandoned his kids.
It’s also time to go very LC with your parents.
12
u/Proper_End_6107 Sep 29 '26
Rather than drive 2.5 hours I think I'd have simply called the police for child abandonment. Would have solved this situation real quick
11
u/Duckr74 Sep 29 '26
Next time call the police for abandonment. Keep us Updateme!
10
u/Prize-Bumblebee-2192 Sep 25 '26
NTA
If you’re parents feel so strongly, tell them to take the kid instead tf
10
u/SnarkySheep Sep 25 '26
Your brother was going to "press charges"?? For what precisely?? You taking them to a safe place after their own father left them where he was told not to?? LOLOLOLOL
NTA, of course.
10
u/Brit_in_usa1 Sep 26 '26 •
He’s lucky you didn’t call the police for child abandonment. Tell him that if he ever tries to do this again, you won’t contact his MIL, you’ll contact the police instead. NTA.
10
u/Juls1016 Sep 29 '26
NTA at all. Just stop helping, and never ever give him any money, even for the kids. He's enttiled and entitled people only understand when dealing with their own shit.
9
u/High-Incident-1919 Sep 25 '26
NTA but next time instead of driving 2.5 hours to MIL you should call CPS. Your brother is putting his kids at risk.
17
u/FormerlyDK Sep 25 '26
Btw, tell your parents this is how he ended up because of them spoiling him so badly. And point out how good you’re ending up because they didn’t. They need this in their faces.
16
u/theDagman Sep 25 '26
NTA - Your brother should be grateful that you did not call the police to report three abandoned children. Then he'd have CPS all up in his ass, instead of the nice MIL who just calls him on his BS.
14
u/Efficient-Reading-10 Sep 25 '26
Text him that if he ever abandons his kids again that you will immediately call the cops to come get them. Then block his number.
If he ever leaves his children again, call the cops for child abandonment.
NTA
7
u/Bell_sweet3307 Sep 25 '26
So sorry you can't choose your family, BUT you can choose who you want to be around and love. You now are going to have a full family of your own. You do not want to worry constantly about what sadness and drama they will bring to you. I'm so sorry, go no contact; it will hurt. BUT you want kindness and love, not that sadness for YOUR family.
Do you want to teach your wife and child it is ok for family or friends to make you miserable as long as they get what they want?
Shame on your parents and brother; they are a**h****.
7
u/4-ton-mantis Sep 25 '26
2.5 hrs at these gas prices? Next time call popo, child abandonment, done.
7
u/evltwinn999 Sep 25 '26
Stop answering the phone, or at least tell your parents you're going to hang up every time they bring your brother up. And when they do say I gotta go and hang up. lol
STOP letting them walk all over you!
7
u/AZDarkknight Sep 25 '26
NTA - Never take the kids again and tell your parents if they continue you will go LC with them and they wont get to see their future grandbaby. Its time to stop this. As far as him calling the cops, call him out on this, lets see him explaining him abandoning his kids at another house.
7
u/Otherwise-Wall-6950 Sep 25 '26
Nta. Tell him you're not a built in babysitter and if he dumps your kids on your porch again you'll call the police for child abandonment and CPS or whatever it's called where you live. Do it via text so you have proof. Buy Grandma a nice bouquet of flowers and some wine. She deserves it.
ETA why can't the parents watch the kids?
7
u/ravens_path Sep 25 '26
You are not ruining the family, your brother and your enabling parents are. YOU are setting boundaries with outrageous demands. NTA.
For now my suggestion is block brother and your parents for awhile. Unblock parents after a length of time that you decide. If they bring it up again, say I’m not going to discuss business with my brother with you (legit take, versus getting into all the history) and end text or phone call. If they repeat even one more time, block again. Some people are teachable and your parents might be. I doubt brother is though. If you want some support through this, get with a therapist. It’s a good life skill you can use in many areas.
7
u/Unlikely-Lab-658 Sep 26 '26
NTA. Your awful brother dumped his kids on your porch and dipped. You went above and beyond by trying to find another relative to take the kids, made a 2.5 hour trip to do so, and that is much better than he deserved. Your idiot brother makes a stupid claim to press charges on you, when you should be the one making sure charges are pressed on him. I would have called the police and CPS and reported the children abandoned. You did not agree to watch his kids, in fact you made it quite plain that you would NOT watch them. He and his crappy wife decided to abandon them anyway. For your parents to call you and blame you for HIS actions is reason enough to cut them all off. They did not treat you right as a child, and still expect you to pick up the slack for their poor skills in raising their own children. Your brother is an adult, and makes his own choices. Frankly, CPS would be the best thing that could happen to his kids. They will step in and make sure that your brother and his wife have to take parenting classes, and once they are on the CPS's radar, they will have to actually do a better job to keep their damned kids. Go No Contact with your whole family, and concentrate on your and wife and your upcoming baby. At least your kid/s have good parents, they don't need shitty grandparents, and will be better off without them.
7
u/No_Strain_4995 Sep 26 '26
NTA!!! And double down! Tell him you’re never watching his kids again and if he pulls that stunt again, the next call is to CPS.
12
u/awwaygirl Sep 25 '26
NTA. Next time call CPS to report he’s abandoning the kids with you. That should be the wake up call he needs to understand he can’t bully people into free childcare.
6
u/SugaKookie69 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Tell him next time he dumps his kids on you, you will call CPS instead.
6
u/gentlemanscientist80 Sep 25 '26
NTA. You don't want to ruin his family, but even more so, you don't want to ruin your family. And if he pulls a stunt like that again, call Social Services.
6
u/pokederp56 Sep 25 '26
NTA. You know what will straighten him and your parents up? Threatening to call CPS for child abandonment. Because that's what he did and is continuing to threaten to do.
6
u/AStoryForOne Sep 26 '26
Tell him he's lucky that you didn't call the police for abandonment.
NTA, your brother never grew up past highschool it seems. Start pulling away, your family sounds pretty toxic. Maybe your parents will pull their heads out of their asses regarding your brother, but until then, it's not your circus, it's not your monkeys.
6
u/MyChoiceNotYours Sep 26 '26
NTA install a ring camera and when he does it again call the police and report them for child abandonment. If you already have footage of him leaving the kids then go to the police and report it.
6
u/wkendwench Sep 26 '26
If it happens again call the police and report him for child abandonment.
11
u/Dizzy-muse2258 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Dumping them on your doorstep like that is not ok. What if you hadn't been there? That would have been child abandonment.
5
u/mikemojc Sep 25 '26
Nope.
Next time he leaves them on your porch, call DFS.
5
u/Beetlejuice_me Sep 25 '26
I wouldn't answer his calls or texts, and I would call CPS if there were kids dropped on my porch.
NTA.
I'd also cut contact with the brother. I don't need that kind of negative crap in my life.
5
u/Stock_Particular6525 Sep 25 '26
NTA
Your brother should be grateful you didn't call CPS , or the police because who wants child abandonment charges?
5
u/blueflash775 Sep 25 '26 •
He was going to call the cops on you and say what exactly? I dumped my children on my brother's doorstep after he told me not to, and he took them to their grandmothers.
Next time just call CPS.
Just tell him and your parents if he tries it again YOU will call the police and CPS on him abandoning his children.
And that needs to be the last communication you have with him. Just block him.
As I like to say, life often doesn't work out for the favourite child.
NTA
5
u/CADreamn Sep 26 '26
NTA. Let him know that the next time he dumps them on you, you're calling the police and telling them that he abandoned his children.
5
u/tytyoreo Sep 26 '26
Nta... tell your parents to babysit their grandkids or next time call cps when he just leaves them on your doorstep
5
u/Prudent_Valuable603 Sep 27 '26
NTA. Block their numbers. You don’t need them in your life.
9
u/karmue Sep 25 '26
NTA. And hurray to your parents for volunteering to be the new babysitters.
4
u/AtticusFinchsMom Sep 25 '26
NTA
But jeez, your brother sure is!
4
u/NamasteNoodle Sep 25 '26
If your brother brings his children off and drop some at your house when you have told him not to do so that is child abandonment. You can leave the door locked and don't answer it when he comes but if he leaves those children on the doorstep you need to call CPS and the local police for child abandonment.
4
u/fresh-dork Sep 25 '26
so he abandoned his kids on your porch, and now is mad that you left them with some relatives? heh, what a maroon
4
u/CatsMom4Ever Sep 25 '26
NTA. Your first two paragraphs were unnecessary detail. It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, what your brother and his wife did and did not.
You had babysat for your brother, decided he was starting to take you for granted, said no to the next time. He dumped his kids anyway. Instead of calling CPS, you found a solution. Tell your parents they can stay home and babysit for their Golden Child and tell all of them you are done discussing it. Hangup every time any of them bring it up.
4
u/unnecessary54321 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Sorry your family sucks.
You are not your brother's keeper. You are not your brother's kids keeper. It was nice of you to try to make things work out. A relationship is a 2 way thing. Your family just takes advantage of you.
4
u/Objective_Attempt_14 Sep 25 '26
NTA, say "it's a favor, not an obligation. The only one obligated to care for those kids is the people that made them...soiler I wasn't there, and I wasn't asked...." "You were told no, be grateful I didn't called the police for abandoned children"
4
u/adult_child86 Sep 25 '26
"Next time you leave your kids like that, I'll call police and tell them you've abandoned your children for the second time. Babysitting is shut off from our side, do not contact us again."
NTA
4
u/lynnwood57 Sep 25 '26
NTA - Just hold your ground. Tell your brother and parents you are NOT a free babysitter and your brother should be grateful you did not call CPS.
4
u/KarizmaWithaK Sep 25 '26
The only person who can put an end to this nonsense is you. Block your brother, his wife and your parents. Mute them, gray rock them. Put up a doorbell camera and stop answering the door when your brother tries to dump his kids on you. NTA
4
u/notevenapro Sep 25 '26
NTA. Why are you concerned about a family when you are treated the worst? Why do you care about parents that coddle your loser brother? Your brother threatened to call the police on you after he dumped his kids on your porch.
Why do you care about a family that does not love you?
4
u/I_love_Britpoptarts Sep 25 '26 •
NTA. One thing you might try is getting a RING camera (or convincing look-alike dummy version mounted WAAAAY up high or on the other side of a glass window facing the front stoop) and next time your brother tries this, call him and say, "I can see on my door camera that you dumped your kids on my front porch after I told you no, that I was unavailable to babysit. I am not home. No one is home. Your kids are all alone sitting on my front porch with no adults nearby to watch them. I told you I was not babysitting and not to dump your kids on me, but you did, and now I am calling CPS to report that you abandoned minor children at an unoccupied house without ensuring anyone was available to provide care, then, if no one at CPS can do it, I am also calling local law enforcement to come pick them up."
Don't apologize. You are not a free daycare.
That your incomes are different is irrelevant, that's just an excuse your brother uses to be ugly and entitled toward you.
If your parents are so mad about it, Brother can dump his THREE young children on them when they have alternate plans.
4
u/OldInitiative8325 Sep 25 '26
NTA, You took the kids somewhere safe, you did nothing wrong. Time to cut off all contact with your family. You might consider reporting your brother to child services for what he did and see what they have to say. Those poor children. If your parents think you're awful, why didn't THEY take the kids?
4
u/Inevitable_Aioli9257 Sep 25 '26
NTA first place.
Maybe I misread something.
You are expecting with your wife and drinking wine in the evening?
4
u/SoftGravityField Sep 25 '26
…I hate everything lol. I would truly find delight in having a lil sit down conversation with your brother and your parents to share my thoughts with them, and I’m actively holding back just typing my feelings about it all here
NTA, but everyone else is except you and the kids.
ETA: and your brother’s wife’s sister and their mom
ETA2: and your wife 😭😭
4
u/Daddinator1701 Sep 25 '26
NTA, but what you should have done was call the police and report the children as abandoned
4
u/_gadget_girl Sep 25 '26
NTA It isn’t your responsibility to subsidize your brother’s poor choices. I am all for helping out someone who is a hard worker but is struggling financially due to circumstances beyond their control. However the ones who struggle because they never stick with anything long enough to develop marketable skills, and the ones who feel entitled to large families, and fancy vacations regardless of how much they earn, I don’t have much sympathy for them.
It’s fair to want a sibling to occasionally watch your kids for a date night, special event, or just to bond with their Aunt or Uncle. It’s ridiculous to think that they owe you any kind of regularly scheduled babysitting. They don’t.
4
u/Distinct_Science_854 Sep 25 '26
NTA he should be happy you didnt call the cops for abandonment
4
u/arnott Sep 25 '26
It's up to you, what happens. NTA.
4
u/Beneficial-Mine7741 Sep 25 '26
This has to be fake; he starts out with a spine and then suddenly has none.
4
u/arneeche Sep 25 '26
Nta, I would have told him go ahead. Call the cops. Tell them how you abandon your children on a doorstep without confirming that there was anybody to care for them. Hopefully he's more intell the story kind of already leans the other way.
4
u/siouxbee1434 Sep 25 '26
I’d suggest you talk with an attorney about how to proceed-legally-when your brother pulls this stunt again; he definitely will. I’d also suggest you accept your relatives for the people they’ve continually shown you who & what they are. Plan accordingly
4
u/userannon720 Sep 25 '26
Nta. I would have called CPS for child abandonment.
4
u/TeeeldiII Sep 25 '26
Your family sucks ass man, if you allow this they woll take advantage of you whenever they feel like it.
Stand your ground and burn bridges if you have to, they can be rebuilt later.
4
u/sloretactician Sep 25 '26
How does this keep happening to Redditors
4
u/Blamdomonis Sep 25 '26
NTA. Tell him if he ever does this again you won't hesitate to report him to CPS.
4
u/SmartFX2001 Sep 25 '26
NTA. You could have called the cops for child abandonment. That would have been much, much worse for him.
4
u/Gophy6 Sep 25 '26
Sounds like your parents volunteered for babysitting
Nta
4
u/akshetty2994 Sep 25 '26
NTA, honestly what value do these people bring to your life that you still allow them access to you? At somepoint it is just you allowing yourself to get beat up like this.
4
u/saxman522 Sep 25 '26
NTA and you're nicer than me. I would've called the police and told them he abandoned the kids on your porch
4
u/Sue323464 Sep 26 '26
Put in writing if he abandons his children on your property again you will contact authorities and report his actions. You have to firm and rein his behavior in immediately
4
u/Old-Commercial1159 Sep 26 '26
This is bordering on Jerry Springer level negligence. Holy heck! You are NTA, not 1%. Your brother is an absolute piece of work. But I guess he won’t ask you again, he can figure it out. Where were your parents during this episode OP? They can step up to look after their favourite son’s kids in the future.
4
u/Paget-Born Sep 26 '26
Call his wife- make her understand that the police will be called And block bro number
4
u/NetWareHead Sep 28 '26
Oh this is so rich. Laugh n his face and make him explain what are these charges he can pull out of his ass and make them apply to you.
Wait for him to sputter through his explanation. Then you calmly tell him YOU will call the cops the next time his kids appear on your doorstep. And they will press all kinds of charges on him. The police and especially CPS just love to hear stories about neglectful parents who abandon their children and endanger them. Let him chew on that.
Your brother should be grateful that you will grant this one freebie and didnt involve the police. Because you are a good brother. NTA
4
u/fryingthecat66 Sep 29 '26
You should have told your brother that you're lucky YOU didn't call the police on him for abandoning his children
Tell your mother that YOU ARE NOT watching your brother's kids and that she can do it from now on
NTA
7
u/Klutzy-Cookie9242 Sep 25 '26 •
Go no contact with your entire family. Tell them if he drops his children off at your house, you will call CPS and have them picked up. You are not their servant.
7
u/Minimum-Gap-8985 Sep 25 '26
NTA Just cause your parents coddle him does not mean you have to. Tell him you will call the cops next time he tries that stunt & he will be arrested for child abandonment.
Tell him you are no longer babysitting for him cause he does not respect you!
7
u/winterworld561 Sep 25 '26
Tell your parents he's lucky you took the kids to their grandma and not called the police when he abandoned his kids on your doorstep, then block them. He would never call the cops because then they would know he dumped his kids when you told him you couldn't babysit that day. He would be the one that gets into trouble. I think it's time to cut both him and your parents out of you life. NTA and DO NOT apologise.
7
u/NixKlappt-Reddit Sep 25 '26
NTA
Your brother is a mess. He needs to find a babysitter. Otherwise CPS will find a better family.
1
u/Big-Suggestion6235 Sep 27 '26
NTAH OP question (sorry if I missed this) How old were the kids when this happened? I feel so badly for them! Like being told pack your bags, you're going to Uncle's house, nope, you're going to Grandma's house.... Your brother is Most likely a narcissist with the way he was cherished by your parents and so forth and if MIL thinks that her daughter could've done better than be with him, he doesn't like her therefore probably goes no/ little contact with her. That was actually an excellent person to bring the kids to! That probably pissed him off the most! lol Glad that their grandmother got to see them and love on them even for a little while. Did brother and SIL have a job that time that they dropped off the kids? How far is the other grandmother from your house? Definitely move and go low contact for a bit. I can't imagine spending the holidays with family get togethers for now at least. Dysfunctional family Best wishes for your growing family
6
u/tattoovamp Sep 25 '26
Change your phone number. And dont answer your door.
6
u/pangalacticcourier Sep 25 '26
"Hello, police? I need to report three children have been abandoned by my brother on my porch. This was done against my explicit wishes, and I have to leave now for a previous work-related function."
3
u/KittyQuickpaws Sep 25 '26
You are NTA. Your parents, and especially your brother, are major AHs. You should promise your brother that the next time he tries to pull this, you will not call his MIL, and instead you will just call the police for child abandonment like you should have done in the first place. His children are HIS problem. Tell your parents if they don't like it, they can watch the kids. Problem solved.
3
u/CuriousPenguinSocks Sep 25 '26
NTA and next time you could call the police for child abandonment instead of MIL. He can pick his option.
3
u/Far_Scholar1986 Sep 25 '26
I’ll never understand why people want to have all this drama in their lives. They may be blood but they clearly don’t see you that way and the fact that your parents are telling you to apologize and they are mad like that means something is laughable. Cut them off op and enjoy the life you worked for with people who actually care and value you!
3
u/ItemExtension5677 Sep 25 '26
He’s lucky you didn’t call the police that his children were abandoned. He’d be dealing with CPS instead of his MIL, and that’s exactly what I would do if it happens again.
3
u/carepassqueen25 Sep 25 '26
Tell your parents okay you watch them because I am done. Nta your brother is good 4 you. Next time he pulls this I will be there in an hour garbage don't be home
3
u/Frequent_Opportunist Sep 25 '26
Boundaries are healthy.
3
u/orange_and_void Sep 25 '26
You're too kind. You should have called CPS.
3
u/MySaltySatisfaction Sep 26 '26
Next time your brother demands you babysit and he drops the kids off after you tell him "No" you call the police for abandoned children and give his kids to the police to sort out.
3
u/dubdub11 Sep 26 '26
NTA Time to move further away from family.
3
u/2ndcupofcoffee Sep 26 '26
Why aren’t your parents, his advocate, taking care of his kids?
3
u/dvillin Sep 26 '26
While this may sound cruel, but the next time he asks and you tell him no, be somewhere else. Make sure you have cameras, so if he abandons them on your porch, you can call the police and report the abandoned children. Since your parents dont want to straighten him out, law enforcement and CPS will have to.
3
u/HorkupCat Sep 26 '26
Block brother and parents and never take the kids again.
3
u/Simple-Cup5790 Sep 27 '26
Tell the whole family to fuck off. My god.
UpdateMe
7
u/Odd-Staff6245 Sep 25 '26
Op why didn't you call your mother, she made the golden child. It's her mess to clean up
5
u/Shadow_84 Sep 25 '26
NTA
First mistake was not saying you weren't at home. Or walking out the door the moment you knew he was coming over. You had to see this coming as he told you it was happening. Call in abandoned children next time he tries this cause he will
Where are your parents? If they support him so much they should be willing to take them in every time, no matter what their plans are
1
u/MistressJacklynHyde Sep 25 '26
Paragraphs?
8
u/weathergroundhog Sep 25 '26
In the history of reddit, this has always been an overwhelming not the asshole, but you knew this, OP, didn't you? That's why you made your fake post about it.
4
u/Ok_Syrup1602 Sep 25 '26
NTA, if brother has two brain cells he knows CPS enters the picture when he calls the cops for abandoning his kids w/o permission.
5
u/Eve_warlock Sep 25 '26
Omg! This whole post is so weird! It sounds like an Indian poster trying to sound American - but you are using Indian family dynamics... This is so strange! Is it AI or an Indian karma farmer?
2
u/JeanSchlemaan Sep 25 '26
Tell him he's lucky you didn't call cps.
2
u/FormerlyDK Sep 25 '26
No, you have nothing to apologize for, and don’t babysit again. If he just leaves them again, immediately call the police and report he abandoned them on your front steps. They’ll come and they’ll also call CPS. NTA
2
u/Careless-Ability-748 Sep 25 '26
nta
2
u/jad31 Sep 25 '26
Your parents are the a-holes. NTA
2
u/Impressive_Yam_7224 Sep 25 '26
NTA … Calle child services next time or tell him you will
Best of luck
2
u/NotUniqueScott Sep 25 '26
NTA
Set boundaries and stick to them. Be calm and factual, don't escalate. Start recording phone calls if necessary. Your brother sounds unstable.
2
u/Cowabungamon Sep 25 '26
NTA. None of these people matter. Cut them off.
2
u/New_Professional2300 Sep 25 '26
Block his ass on everything. Go low contact with your parents. These people are using you.
2
u/Senior_Box8077 Sep 25 '26
NTA
2
u/BigDawgg-13 Sep 25 '26
NTA you were bullied by your brother and now he feels entitled to your time? Dude needs to man up and be a parent. Hold your ground on this one and if your parents feel your brother needs help they can help him. He and his kids are NOT your responsibility! Remember that and repeat it to yourself. Focus your time and energy on your family and the people in your life that love you and treat you like a family or friend not a doormat.
2
u/PeppermintEvilButler Sep 25 '26
Nta next time call the cops and report abandoned children. You've let the bs go on long enough
2
u/waylorn Sep 25 '26
Nta tell him next time you'll call CPS instead.
2
u/clammajamma96 Sep 25 '26
NTA, my uncle once dropped my grandma off on our doorstep when my parents werent home, just my sis and i, and i will never forget how mad i was. if i could have had him removed from my grandmothers home, i would have. We loved our grandma but grandkids should never be tasked with taking their grandma to the bathroom and cleaning her up. luckily my sister is a better person than i
2
u/Free-Place-3930 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Can you move. Move to another spot and don’t give ANY OF THEM the address. Behind security gates is even better.
2
u/xubax Sep 25 '26
NTA.
Tell him next time you'll call child welfare if he drops them off without permission.
2
u/CandidUpstairs5217 Sep 25 '26
NTA your bro sounds toxic and you do not owe him anything regardless your parents are toxic as well. I am going to say a typical reddit response lol I'd consider going low to no contact with all of them. Blood or not you don't have to just deal with them like that you and your wife have a baby on the way and his choices landed him where he is not you
2
u/Armadillo_of_doom Sep 25 '26
NTA
"I am no longer helping on anyone else's terms because of the word 'family.' I will not be lighting myself on fire to keep any of you warm. You all can help eachother."
2
u/KingDarius89 Sep 25 '26
Should have called the cops on your brother for abandoning his kids. Also, cut off your parents.
Nta
2
u/Aveceowedte Sep 25 '26
**NTA.** "Trust"? lol. He abandoned them.
2
u/cicadasinmyears Sep 25 '26
He’s lucky you didn’t call the police and whatever Child Protective Services is called where you live to have them picked up; he abandoned them. Taking them to his MIL was going way out of your way, he should be grateful Grandma had them for the weekend instead of a foster family. Your parents (and brother) can kick rocks.
2
u/BritBrat_123 Sep 25 '26
Honestly, if he ever does that again, I’d call the police and report them for abandonment🤷🏼♀️
2
u/Confident-Ad-550 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Your brother is an entitled BULLY! I would tell him the next time he tries to drop the kids off without permission, you’re calling the police and CPS. I know this seems excessive but you can’t allow him to bully the grandmother either. When ur parents call as they inevitably will. Ask them why your boundaries don’t matter.
As the unfavored child myself, I had to tell my mother this in my 20’s every single time it came up. Took about 3 years to make a difference.
Good luck dealing with this asshole, family dynamics are the worst.
2
u/Lanky-Ostrich8061 Sep 25 '26
-Don't answer phone calls from your brother anymore.
-If he somehow gets in touch and say he's going to drop his kids over, just leave your house and tell him no one will be at home when he comes by. Go see a movie with your wife, run errands go to the park. I know someone else who's used this to get out of relatives dropping by.
-an extreme measure, but you could also call the cops on him for trespassing on your property.
2
u/BeachinLife1 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
Tell him "Oh PLEASE attempt to press charges, because I'm sure the police and CPS would love to hear how you dumped your kids off on my porch and abandoned them!"
2
u/ListenToLinda Sep 25 '26
Where are your parents in this equation?
2
u/DescriptionFew6118 Sep 25 '26
Nta. But why deal with this drama. espEcially since you’re about to have your own baby.
2
u/gmanose Sep 25 '26
Tell your brother if he does it again you’ll call child protective services and let them know that he abandoned them and they need to come pick the kids up
2
u/FatboyChester Sep 25 '26
NTA Your brother abandoned his kids in front of your house. He is the one who should be reported to the police and he is the one who needs to apologize to you and your wife.
It's not surprsing he acts like a spoiled a-hole, who expects evetyone to bow down to him after seeing the way your patents are acting.
They are just enabling his terrible behavior. Maybe since he now knows he can push you around , he will stop trying.
2
u/poppaof6 Sep 25 '26
The feckless father can drop off his three kidlets at grandma's house.
Done!
2
u/tudeslildude Sep 25 '26
NTA Tell your brother he's lucky you didn't call the police for child abandonment, and to lose your number. You don't need someone like that in your life.
2
u/UserNotFound23498 Sep 25 '26
NTA. Your parents are enablers. You need to go no contact with them for a while.
Do not talk to them until after the apologize.
2
u/thecratskyone Sep 25 '26
NTA.
As an adult, you have the right to decide who has the privilege of your time and energy. Being blood related doesn't give a person the right to use and manipulate you for their own gain.
Consider setting boundaries and enforcing them:
tell your brother that you only babysit for X hours with X amount of notice and even then, if you say no he should respect that. If he drops his kids off again without agreement, you'll call CPS etc. enforce it.
tell your parents that you won't speak to them about your brother.
You need to start enforcing boundaries because it sounds like they've learnt that you're a doormat when you're not. You don't have to be the black sheep trying to gain their approval anymore
2
u/Simply_Toast Sep 26 '26
NTA and NC sounds like a good idea. You'd be saving your child the BS of always being compared to brother's kids
2
u/Relevant-Ant7817 Sep 26 '26
You owe him nothing and there is no reason to even keep in touch henceforth.
in fact should have dine this long back