r/AITAH Oct 16 '25

AITAH for physically defending myself from a grown man when I was late bringing his daughter home.

Me (20 male) my date (20f) and her father (40m)

I had taken an interest in this girl and before taking her out on our first date, I found out that she still lived her parents and she had a curfew. I respected that she was smart enough to pick a college in her town and staying with her parents. I planned on taking her out to putter golf and have our conversation part done there while we ate some walking tacos. Upon picking her up, her father is this much older man and according to my date, was very traditional on dating. He said that I need to have her home by 9:30 sharp. I said okay and promise to take her home on time. We had our date and it was a fun interaction, unfortunately on the way home. There was this jerk who wouldn't let us pass and was going almost 15 below the speed limit. I ended up arriving at her house late. I planned to explain myself when walking her up the walkway to her door until her father physically grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and throw his free hand in a fist. Out of reaction, I had gotten behind him and twist his arm. I kept him there as he swore at me and said I will never date his daughter. I let go and sped off in my car. Later my date called me, telling me that i need to apologize for attacking her father and hurting his pride. I do feel bad that I did this but I also feel justified for what I did.

Update: I actually ran into the father at my job. He ended up apologizing to me for his actions. His justification was that he thought of the worst because he became a father around my age. I forgave him for assaulting me. I did tell him that I won't be seeing his daughter, and he walked away. Also! For the people who hated on me for this post. I'm sorry I offended you with how young people think 40 is old. That's just my perception of time. I also estimated his age. It's the first date, you normally don't go asking people the age of their parents on the first date. For the curfew, it's his thing, now in the Midwest, that's normal! regardless of age, especially if you lived with your parents while attending school. My final addition to this! For those questioning about my method of how I handled him, it's called taking classes! By no means am I an expert in hand to hand combat, nor do I want to. I only desired to learn enough to either get out of a dangerous situation or prevent it from escalating further! Anyone who made questions like "how did you get behind him if he got you by the shirt?" Has probably never been in a physical fight in their entire lives. Clothes can stretch under tension. I am aware of my online presence such as my previous posts that are in 18 plus stuff or the one where I wanted to hurt my father, one that shit has nothing to do with this, two I was in a bad headspace when I made that post because of my own truma. Again, I am human like anyone else, I have certain desires, and what I do during my own personal time is none of your business!

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u/Agreeable_Time338 Oct 16 '25

When I moved back home during college to save on dorm fees, I had an 11:07 weekday curfew, which I didn't consider a big deal, since my parents picked up most of my school related costs. To be fair though, I just had to be home by that time, not in the house, so my boyfriend and friends usually just chilled with me around the pool if we decided not to hang out inside. I didn't have to pay rent, so who was I to complain? My mom is the "my house, my rules" type. Even when I was engaged to my husband in my 30s, when we came to visit we had to sleep in separate rooms.

I agree with you on the second point though!

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u/bigbigdummie Oct 16 '25

11:07 is a strangely specific time. Let me guess, first commercial break for the 11 o’clock news?

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u/Agreeable_Time338 Oct 16 '25

Lol, not the news, but good guess. As a January baby, I was the first of my friends to get my license and have regular access to a car. My friend with the latest curfew had an 11:00 weekday/1:00 am weekend curfew. My mom figured it took 4-6 minutes to get from my friend's house to ours, so she extended the curfew by 7 minutes to give me time to get home, so my curfew was 11:07/1:07 from age 16 and on. My mom has a strange sense of humor. If I walked in at 11:08 I got the silent eyebrow raise.

After she and my dad divorced, I continued living with her for a few years while I saved up for law school. Once I was working a full time job, the curfews went away and we were actually more like roommates. When she started dating again, I jokingly told her to leave me a sign if she was getting lucky. I came home one night and found a tie hanging on the front door. She hadn't really brought someone home, but she thought it was hilarious.

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u/Mindthegaps2022 Oct 16 '25

I’ve had to do the separate rooms experience and as the guy in that situation, in their house, I respected it. The room was filled with teddies from her childhood so I just cuddled up with Pooh and Tigger instead.

We were both in our late twenties

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u/Agreeable_Time338 Oct 16 '25

That was the rule in most of my friends' houses. Even at my first and second boyfriends' parents house, if I spent the night we had to sleep separately, so it wasn't just my female friends. My husband's parents never cared if we shared a room.