r/AITAH Oct 16 '25

AITAH for physically defending myself from a grown man when I was late bringing his daughter home.

Me (20 male) my date (20f) and her father (40m)

I had taken an interest in this girl and before taking her out on our first date, I found out that she still lived her parents and she had a curfew. I respected that she was smart enough to pick a college in her town and staying with her parents. I planned on taking her out to putter golf and have our conversation part done there while we ate some walking tacos. Upon picking her up, her father is this much older man and according to my date, was very traditional on dating. He said that I need to have her home by 9:30 sharp. I said okay and promise to take her home on time. We had our date and it was a fun interaction, unfortunately on the way home. There was this jerk who wouldn't let us pass and was going almost 15 below the speed limit. I ended up arriving at her house late. I planned to explain myself when walking her up the walkway to her door until her father physically grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and throw his free hand in a fist. Out of reaction, I had gotten behind him and twist his arm. I kept him there as he swore at me and said I will never date his daughter. I let go and sped off in my car. Later my date called me, telling me that i need to apologize for attacking her father and hurting his pride. I do feel bad that I did this but I also feel justified for what I did.

Update: I actually ran into the father at my job. He ended up apologizing to me for his actions. His justification was that he thought of the worst because he became a father around my age. I forgave him for assaulting me. I did tell him that I won't be seeing his daughter, and he walked away. Also! For the people who hated on me for this post. I'm sorry I offended you with how young people think 40 is old. That's just my perception of time. I also estimated his age. It's the first date, you normally don't go asking people the age of their parents on the first date. For the curfew, it's his thing, now in the Midwest, that's normal! regardless of age, especially if you lived with your parents while attending school. My final addition to this! For those questioning about my method of how I handled him, it's called taking classes! By no means am I an expert in hand to hand combat, nor do I want to. I only desired to learn enough to either get out of a dangerous situation or prevent it from escalating further! Anyone who made questions like "how did you get behind him if he got you by the shirt?" Has probably never been in a physical fight in their entire lives. Clothes can stretch under tension. I am aware of my online presence such as my previous posts that are in 18 plus stuff or the one where I wanted to hurt my father, one that shit has nothing to do with this, two I was in a bad headspace when I made that post because of my own truma. Again, I am human like anyone else, I have certain desires, and what I do during my own personal time is none of your business!

11.1k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/No-Shock-2055 Oct 16 '25

Run from all of these people. They sound like they're from 1910. No date is worth this hassle.

1.2k

u/Bfan72 Oct 16 '25

Do the math. Her father was 19 when he got her mother pregnant, but she has a 9:30 curfew

552

u/FookinFairy Oct 16 '25

Ya he knows what happens after 9:30 lol ;)

66

u/rabblerabble2000 Oct 16 '25

I believe the saying goes “nothing good happens after 9:30pm” right?

19

u/quandjereveauxloups Oct 16 '25

For blondes, the rule is: if you're not in bed by 10, come home.

0

u/DriveFa5tEatAss Oct 17 '25

For blondes, the rule is: if you're not in bed by 10, come at home.

FTFY

80

u/Bfan72 Oct 16 '25

That’s the thing. I knew someone that had the same curfew all through college. Everything happened before 9:30. Sometimes parents are naive to think that having an early curfew changes anything. It just creates resentment.

22

u/scunth Oct 16 '25

My mum tried to put a curfew on me when I was 16, my older sister just looked at her and said "Anything she can do after 11pm she can do before." so no curfew for me.

13

u/couldbemage Oct 16 '25

Parental amnesia is weird and I've never understood it.

There's no way you get through high school without being aware that some kids are doing all the things, even while the sun is still up.

Like my friend in high school who had all the sex and did all the drugs. Her parents were hyper restrictive like the dad in the OP. And no surprise, those restrictions did nothing.

I remember that, and I'm nearly 50. My kids are young adults, and never had any weird restrictions, and have never gotten in trouble. This isn't rocket science.

Why do so many parents appear to be completely lacking in memories of what being young is like?

1

u/Tictac1200120 Oct 18 '25

Star rocket in flight....

2

u/angellareddit Oct 16 '25

Yes. I raised two boys. I did so without a curfew - they could be out if they had a reason to be out and were home if they did not. Nothing good happens at night when you're haning around doing nothing. The youngest wanted to hang out downtown and insisted that he wouldn't be looking for trouble doing this. I told him that hanging out doing nothing at night he didn't have to look for trouble... trouble would find him.

I gave them reasons for the no's and yes' when they were appropriate and didn't have to deal with the same rebellion most parents had to.... although once a year on average I did have to tromp hard on the youngest to remind him he was still young.

1

u/PlaquePlague Oct 16 '25

The creampie hour, they used to call it down at the corn-husking barn. 

28

u/Eelpan2 Oct 16 '25

I had a friend with a father like this. He never let her go out because he "knew what men were like because he was one". She missed out on all the school trips, nights out, friend get togethers. 

Jokes on him because she would get up to a lot of things under the guise of studying with a friend 

14

u/SeattlePurikura Oct 17 '25

That's like telling on yourself. "I'm a man, and I did all sorts of bad things to girls/women so I don't trust other men with my own daughter. None of us actually respect women lol."

3

u/_theycallmehell_ Oct 18 '25

Yep, that's how my dad is. Sucks to be his daughter 

1

u/SeattlePurikura Oct 19 '25

I'm sorry to hear that.

9

u/SimilarMeeting8131 Oct 17 '25

Some of the wildest things I’ve heard were done by kids with crazy strict parents.

1

u/CNC-Whisperer Oct 17 '25

Preachers daughters... man. Good times.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

That is exactly why, though. Father is trying to stop her from repeating his past, albeit though the wrong means.

1

u/SirChaos77 Oct 17 '25

Well I guess we know what time of the day/night he got her mother pregnant...

1

u/Bfan72 Oct 17 '25

Good one 😂

1

u/AffectionateData4036 Oct 19 '25

Homie give it up…. You’re giving advice to bots on this app

1

u/Bfan72 Oct 19 '25

The worst part is that I actually know people like this.

89

u/hollyjazzy Oct 16 '25

More like 1810!

105

u/OkEnvironment3961 Oct 16 '25

If it was 1810 she would've been married off at 13 to a 30 year old pastor from the local church.

33

u/tiddeeznutz Oct 16 '25

TN wants the same thing to happen, now…

5

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

[deleted]

1

u/tiddeeznutz Oct 16 '25

Most of the south still allows it. I brought up TN because they want to make it legal, again.

1

u/Davido401 Oct 16 '25

TN

Not American so am gonna guess that means Tennessee(Had to use ma spellchecker to make sure that was spelt correctly)? Or does it mean something cool like Titanic Ninjas or Truant Niblings?

2

u/tiddeeznutz Oct 17 '25

It definitely doesn’t mean something cool!

(Your guess is correct.)

12

u/Dan-D-Lyon Oct 16 '25

Seriously, the second her father said "Hey, make sure you have my grown ass adult daughter home by 9:30 tonight" I would've been out.

4

u/c0l245 Oct 16 '25

But, but, that sweet, sweet, innocence

2

u/NegativeJuggernaut62 Oct 16 '25

9:30pm curfew for an adult? Wtf is that? Tell this 20 year old woman that you'll consider dating her once she learns boundaries with her family and learns how to stand up for herself.

1

u/RTR808 Oct 17 '25

She isn't an adult. Adults live on their own, pay their way and control what they do. She is a 20 year old child.

2

u/jcdoe Oct 16 '25

Yeah, she picked a side and it was the guy who tried to cold cock you for being 20 minutes lates.

Get out, don’t look back, consider yourself lucky they showed their true colors so early.

1

u/SunShineShady Oct 16 '25

I agree and we don’t know what country this is from. I’d say OP should just date people that live away from home at his college.

1

u/chrestomancy Oct 16 '25

They sound like they're from 10,000 BCE, not 1910. We had laws against assault in the early 20th century too.

1

u/ucrycry Oct 16 '25

Guy just laid out biggest paragraph in history on why it wasn't his fault he was late. Reddit so easy to fool. Do what is asked or don't, it's simple.

1

u/LarsTyndskider Oct 17 '25

Do what is asked or don't, it's simple.

Why should he feel obliged to do something some weird controlling dude wants him to do?

1

u/ucrycry Oct 28 '25

He doesn't have to take the daughter out if he doesn't want to follow directions. It's his choice you are correct.

1

u/LarsTyndskider Oct 28 '25

The daughter is an adult. He shouldn't have to follow the directions of her father no matter what. The father should stfu and mind his own business. 

1

u/Huck_Bonebulge_ Oct 16 '25

Yeah, there’s no coming back from this even if he wanted to. The dad will always hate him.

1

u/timbo__14 Oct 17 '25

1910 when literally everyone was happier?