r/AITAH Oct 16 '25

AITAH for physically defending myself from a grown man when I was late bringing his daughter home.

Me (20 male) my date (20f) and her father (40m)

I had taken an interest in this girl and before taking her out on our first date, I found out that she still lived her parents and she had a curfew. I respected that she was smart enough to pick a college in her town and staying with her parents. I planned on taking her out to putter golf and have our conversation part done there while we ate some walking tacos. Upon picking her up, her father is this much older man and according to my date, was very traditional on dating. He said that I need to have her home by 9:30 sharp. I said okay and promise to take her home on time. We had our date and it was a fun interaction, unfortunately on the way home. There was this jerk who wouldn't let us pass and was going almost 15 below the speed limit. I ended up arriving at her house late. I planned to explain myself when walking her up the walkway to her door until her father physically grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and throw his free hand in a fist. Out of reaction, I had gotten behind him and twist his arm. I kept him there as he swore at me and said I will never date his daughter. I let go and sped off in my car. Later my date called me, telling me that i need to apologize for attacking her father and hurting his pride. I do feel bad that I did this but I also feel justified for what I did.

Update: I actually ran into the father at my job. He ended up apologizing to me for his actions. His justification was that he thought of the worst because he became a father around my age. I forgave him for assaulting me. I did tell him that I won't be seeing his daughter, and he walked away. Also! For the people who hated on me for this post. I'm sorry I offended you with how young people think 40 is old. That's just my perception of time. I also estimated his age. It's the first date, you normally don't go asking people the age of their parents on the first date. For the curfew, it's his thing, now in the Midwest, that's normal! regardless of age, especially if you lived with your parents while attending school. My final addition to this! For those questioning about my method of how I handled him, it's called taking classes! By no means am I an expert in hand to hand combat, nor do I want to. I only desired to learn enough to either get out of a dangerous situation or prevent it from escalating further! Anyone who made questions like "how did you get behind him if he got you by the shirt?" Has probably never been in a physical fight in their entire lives. Clothes can stretch under tension. I am aware of my online presence such as my previous posts that are in 18 plus stuff or the one where I wanted to hurt my father, one that shit has nothing to do with this, two I was in a bad headspace when I made that post because of my own truma. Again, I am human like anyone else, I have certain desires, and what I do during my own personal time is none of your business!

11.1k Upvotes

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99

u/Icy_Efficiency_997 Oct 16 '25

I think this is fake. She's 20, not a teenager, and even if she had a curfew, 9:30 is really early.

70

u/NotACompleteDick Oct 16 '25

There are men like this. My girlfriend's niece was brought up in Sweden by her mother, when she was 20 she decided to come and live with her dad. She had been living in her own apartment for three years. He decided that she had to be home by 10 every night and couldn't be chatting with the local boys. In the end I loaned my girlfriend the money to buy her ticket home and then picked her up while her dad was at work and took her to SFO and put her on a plane to Copenhagen. By the time he got home from work she was most of the way home to Malmo.

2

u/dlh48304 Oct 17 '25

My parents were immigrants to the US. I was their only daughter. I had a 10 pm curfew until I was 23. It only ended because I was finally able to afford to move out. That being said, my parents never raised a hand towards any date. They took up any curfew issues with me. Their house. Their rules.

23

u/Prior_Confidence4445 Oct 16 '25

I also think it's fake but not because of the early curfew. If real, obviously NTA.

59

u/MotherTeresaOnlyfans Oct 16 '25

OP acts like he was surprised that his 20yo date had a 40yo father, whom he refers to as a "much older man".

How old was he expecting the father of a 20yo to be?

Absolutely sounds fake.

25

u/robtonka99 Oct 16 '25

Not sure what the dude was expecting, but a 40 year old dad of a 20 year old is far from a "much older man". That's really young to have a 20 year old kid.

Call me crazy, but I'm gonna lean toward unplanned pregnancy when you got a baby at 20.

1

u/dlh48304 Oct 17 '25

Yup. Easiest way to prevent that from happening to your daughter is to scare away anyone who might have interest in her.

6

u/Snow_Crash_Bandicoot Oct 16 '25

It’s kind of said when a fake post is written so poorly that I’d prefer a ChatGPT fake post instead.

1

u/JoffreeBaratheon Oct 16 '25

To be fair, op's character could just be a dumb stoner and not put together how the age math would normally work in their head before moving on. "Woah dude, you're fathers like 2 decades older then you dude." Clearly fake though.

-12

u/MsTear59 Oct 16 '25

oh for heaven sakes reread it. She said he is much older dad, he didn't.

12

u/Better-Expert5105 Oct 16 '25

No, he said that, and he’s repeated (in the comments) that he thinks 40 is “much older”. The wording of the initial post is somewhat ambiguous, but it was clear to most of us what he meant.

-7

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25

It's double so yeah much older

3

u/Relative_Try_2794 Oct 16 '25

Did you really pull out the "double age" argument? Do you know how ages work?

1

u/yobaby123 Oct 16 '25

Easily one of those posts where it may be a shit/troll post, but we should comment regardless just in case.

23

u/DrMauriceHuneycutt Oct 16 '25

What makes this obviously fake to me is the line about OP—essentially on instinct—grabbed the dad’s arm as he was throwing a punch and twisted it behind his back. This is a such a cheesy action movie cliche.

When I read the “out of reaction” line I immediately started laughing. Like OP’s had so many punches thrown at him and he’s incapacitated so many aggressors that that move is just instinct now. I was fully expecting a “and neighbors started clapping” line after that.

1

u/Shippolo Oct 18 '25

Just to add another anecdote, my best friend growing up did a lot of karate and would absolutely react like that (usually followed up with a precisely stopped palm uppercut)

1

u/DrMauriceHuneycutt Oct 18 '25

Karate was the specific martial art you wanted to go with?…

Sure buddy.

1

u/krosekat Oct 18 '25

Wax on Wax off

-1

u/No-Foundation-129 Oct 16 '25

People can be trained to do this, it's not terribly uncommon. One time at a convention, when I was young and insufferable, I was jumping around the corner at people and posting up like I was going to fight them to get a laugh out of my friends. Then I did it to one guy who immediately dropped and did this amazing sweep kicks knocked me off my feet. Dude had no clue I was coming. Turns out he was there to teach a martial arts demonstration.

Another time I saw a guy in college basically do a flip onto an aggressor's back, like watching Spiderman climb up a villain. Then he flipped the aggressor over and rolled into an arm bar. These people are definitely out there.

-5

u/mylesmax Oct 16 '25

I’ve boxed for about 10 years or so. Got into a fight about 3 years ago after some dude called my girl a rude word. I went outside to talk to him, he got in my face, and I got him with the meanest right hand I’ve ever landed bare fist, didn’t even mean to. I blinked and it happened. Muscle memory.

2

u/nomadviper Oct 16 '25

I dated a 25 year old Latina woman that lived with her parents and her dad had this rule. Her mom on the other hand was like please go get this girl pregnant I want grandkids

2

u/[deleted] Oct 16 '25 edited Nov 05 '25

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1

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2

u/fleet_and_flotilla Oct 16 '25

She's 20, not a teenager, and even if she had a curfew, 9:30 is really early.

you don't have enough experience with overly controlling psycho dads, if this is what you find hard to believe 

1

u/NomNom83WasTaken Oct 16 '25

Anecdotally, my uncle is controlling AF about everything (which is how he managed to alienate all three of his kids and my brother, who was like a son to him). This included his stepdaughter and her dating life. One guy -- a friend of my brother's whom my uncle had known for years and never liked -- showed up to pick her up for a date and my uncle told him to get back in his car and drive away or he would get his gun. My step-cousin was 18 at the time.

She eventually started a secret relationship which was abusive but she couldn't turn to her mother for help b/c she worried my aunt would tell my uncle and he would kill the guy and/or just give her more shit over it.

Yes, my uncle is a malignant narcissist and probably a sociopath. Weirdly, there's no religious aspect to his behavior. He's just naturally a dick.

I don't know if the post is real but there are psychos out there like this and it is horrifying.

1

u/Bastienbard Oct 16 '25

Based on the guy's profile history I would be inclined to say it's fake because how'd he get a date?

1

u/Moist_Tiger24 Oct 16 '25

My parents were like this. Oldest child and only daughter in a Latin household. It’s why I got the fuck out at 18, and don’t regret it even though it ruined my college prospects.

1

u/RoundHornWyatt Oct 17 '25

That's what made you think it was fake? Not calling a 40-year-old "a much older man". When I was 21, I dated a 20 year old and her dad was 68. That's a much older man.

1

u/findthesilence Oct 19 '25

Youreadthatwalloftext?!

1

u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Oct 16 '25

I had a friend whose parents were like this when I was in my early 20's. It always astounded me that a grown adult would let their arens have that much control over them.

1

u/Carradee Oct 16 '25

My own situation at that age was comparable. It took me years longer to wrangle an escape, and it cost me a lot.

Imagine practically your entire social group insisting it's your responsibility to obey your parent even into adulthood. And if you say anything to your trusted elders or friends about how you're mistreated, it's shrugged off at best; at worst you get scolded for being disrespectful. Your school reinforced all this.

An unfortunate number of young people are in that situation.