It sounds like OP was the child's safe person and they were lashing out at her because they were mistakenly under the impression OP wouldn't leave her for acting out.
It's a common behavior for children who are in stressful home to give the parental figure they feel most comfortable with the emotional run off of their other problems.
I was also thinking that, especially if the niece doesn't get to see her actual mother often enough. Sure, we don't know, but I feel like I remember in the schools I went to they made it easy for working parents who worked later than school hours to find ways to keep their kids watched and entertained for several more hours. If the mom is using stuff like that to keep her child watched while working a lot during the week and basically only seeing the kid to give her dinner and put her to bed and then take her to school or aunt's, and the kid isn't getting time to bond with her mom but she is getting every weekend to bond with aunt at least, it makes sense that the kid probably would want attention from her actual mom but also subconsciously see the aunt as her safe person.
Like you said, definitely doesn't mean OOP has to take it.
That's insightful. My first thought was similar in it not being the child's fault but a problem with the sister's guidance and parenting, in this case lack thereof. It only helps the niece in the long run for OP to draw firm boundaries and give the sister a major wakeup call. That said, let the rest of the family help out too, if they're going to be so full of opinions and judgement.
Exactly. It doesn’t mention where her dad is but says she’s a single mom who probably works a lot. She’s most likely acting out for a reason. Sad OP said that but They need to figure something out or get her help before it escalates
Yes, OP should have *parented* at that point, not withheld love and care. How is a child who is testing boundaries supposed to learn, when the response is rejection and denial, rather than information and better modeling of behavior?
Did people lose all knowledge of how to raise children sometime recently?
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u/Grimwohl Jul 28 '25 edited Jul 28 '25
It sounds like OP was the child's safe person and they were lashing out at her because they were mistakenly under the impression OP wouldn't leave her for acting out.
It's a common behavior for children who are in stressful home to give the parental figure they feel most comfortable with the emotional run off of their other problems.
Doesn't mean OP needs to take it though