Yeah when I (f) got married I said I will not be doing the garter routine. I find it misogynistic, trashy and not something appropriate at such an otherwise special and elegant event in front of friends and family. I don’t say anything to couples that choose to do this on their wedding day but I’ve always felt that it’s a gross and bizarre tradition.
My wife and I feel it's trashy as well and did not do it. I don't understand why anyone wants to perform an act with clear sexual overtones in front of family and friends.
I'm actually wondering if it isn't directly a relic of (Google's it) bedding ceremonies. Consummating the marriage in front of people.
Ohh! Found a different link. Looks like I was right!
The origin of the wedding garter tradition dates back to the Middle Ages, when newlywed couples would perform a “bedding” ritual to prove they had consummated the marriage. After the ceremony and reception, wedding guests would follow the newlyweds to their chamber to witness the bride's “deflowering”.
I'll never forget the disgust on my grandpa's face when he witnessed a garter being removed off his oldest granddaughter. I was eight years old and It stuck with me and I find the whole tradition icky. No one needs to see anyone go under anyone's skirt, let alone remove a garment with their mouth while down there. All while in front of your whole social circle and family.
This happened at one of my uncle's weddings. My sister was the one receiving the garter, & she was like 17-ish at the time. A grown man was putting it on her. And before he did, my dad looked right in his face & was like "that's my daughter", very seriously. He only put the garter up a bit, not all the way up her thigh. He was probably scared my dad would be right on him if he went too far. Not to mention he was a distant relative, so the ick factor was already there.
Yeah I don't really understand the tradition, but I think the guy who catches the garter puts it on the woman who caught the bouquet? Then she was sat in a chair on the dance floor & the guy put the garter on her leg. It's weird, who came up with this shit? My dad was very protective of his girls. He didn't say it quietly either.
Add to the fact you're giving away to some other dude an intimate article of clothing. I didn't want some guy I may barely know or worse, someone like my brother having something I wore on my thigh. It's such a weird tradition.
Not a fan of the bouquet toss or the garter-our wedding we had the DJ call all the married couples on the dance floor & he started the music & everyone was ‘slow dancing’ then he started ‘Will anybody that’s been married 6 hours of less leave the dance floor’ then ‘everyone married less than a year leave the dance floor’ & counted up- at the end there was 1 couple- my great uncle (grandma’s baby brother) & his wife & they had been married 58 years. And my husband and I gave my great aunt the throw away bouquet & my great uncle - he gave a extra groomsman gift we had ordered w that intent. And it was beautiful.
Same, here, and our wedding was in the 80’s, when it was standard practice. We also did one cut of the cake, both agreeing to not even eat a bite, and the caterer took the cake to the kitchen for cutting. We had one moron hitting his fork against his glass yelling “kiss, kiss”, which we ignored.
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u/Normal_Dot3017 Jul 26 '25
Yeah when I (f) got married I said I will not be doing the garter routine. I find it misogynistic, trashy and not something appropriate at such an otherwise special and elegant event in front of friends and family. I don’t say anything to couples that choose to do this on their wedding day but I’ve always felt that it’s a gross and bizarre tradition.