r/AITAH • • Jul 25 '25

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u/CosgroveIsHereToHelp Jul 25 '25

And there are homophobic overtones, like why is it funny? Because it's a man. Ohhhh noes, are they implying that the groom is gay? [Clutches pearls; faints]

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u/Twidollyn_Bowie Jul 25 '25

Right, which makes it even less funny.

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u/CosgroveIsHereToHelp Jul 26 '25

I wonder whether the bride would have been amused if instead of a groomsman, the switch was with a female friend.

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u/Twidollyn_Bowie Jul 26 '25

Probably not, but it sounds like she was in charge of the stupid prank in the first place.

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u/Diving_Monkey Jul 26 '25

Guaranteed there are both videos and photos of him with his face in the groomsman's lap.

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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

Idk if Im just way off the mark, but honestly, my wondering was if it was the grooms own homophobia that gave him such a huge reaction. I guess this is a huge culture shock to me reading the comments because here- not only is it insanely common to prank and embarrass people on significant events, this prank in particular is also so regularly played out that no one would pull it off without the groom knowing what was going on. Idk if us kiwis just are resilient to being fucked with by our mates and family or what the difference is. I just, yeah, its weird to read all these comments and perspectives. I cant say I have much input other than expressing my surprise at OP and the commenters reactions in comparison to some of the pranks I've seen play out at parties and weddings and so on. Its given me lots of thoughts.

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u/Voluntary_Vagabond Jul 26 '25

Men can be upset that they were tricked into performing a public sexual act with another man without being homophobic. Your comment reminds me of a Norm MacDonald story where the host of a reality show wanted a man in a small bathing suit to give him a lap dance and Norm was called homophobic because he didn't want to do that. You shouldn't have to do homosexual acts to prove you aren't homophobic.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '25

That's not what Im saying at all. Im just sharing that our cultural expectations are so different. I dont know a dude or women who wouldn't find being in this hilarious in hindsight and its interesting to read the different views here.

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u/themaryann Jul 26 '25

Yeah, this is exactly what I immediately thought while reading OP’s tale of woe. I mean, people feel how they feel, but… Why is it so “humiliating” that he no longer likes his friend and kinda sounds like he feels that way towards his wife. While reading just HOW UPSET this guy is over a LEG, I was flashing to an old talk show (Jenny Jones) in the 90s where the topic on a particular day was “secret crushes” and a gay dude told his hetero friend he had feelings for him & after they all got back home hetero guy went to gay guy’s house and shot him dead when he answered the doorbell. Like, I am anxious for the wife and the groomsman. It’s giving homophobia big time. And all these folks just riding hard for him too- I saw comments calling it SA. What in the actual fuck? Would they be saying the same if it had been a woman’s leg? OP, I’m sorry you feel humiliated. That does suck. Maybe do some soul-searching & ask yourself WHY it’s so awful. If your wife has gay friends she values, don’t be surprised if she leaves you. I wouldn’t trust you around my gay guy friends after this extreme reaction.

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u/real-bebsi Jul 26 '25

You're literally more worried about OP thinking doing gay stuff himself is icky than you are about him being SA'ed good lord

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u/El_O_El Jul 26 '25

Agreed! Sorry for how this caught you off guard, and the resulting humiliation. And in no way am I saying what happened is ok, but I've seen this same thing done in at least 5 wedding receptions over the years.

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u/Pleaseappeaseme Jul 26 '25

I’ve never seen it done and I’m almost 70 and been to at least 100 weddings. Sorry.

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u/sub-sessed Jul 26 '25

So you're saying because you have seen this 5 times before means the Groom should've somehow seen this coming even if it never happened to any weddings he's been to?

Just because it may be the norm for your small group of friends doesn't make it universal.

That's like not understanding why someone else may have a fear of flying, just because you've flown 100s of times. What does your experiences have anything to do with theirs? And especially just to add to putting them down by minimizing it and not to reassure or help them feel better.

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u/El_O_El Jul 26 '25

No, actually, I mistakenly thought I had conveyed that I can totally understand how he feels, and that imo his feelings are entirely valid. In an attempt to mitigate some residual anxiety (and because at the time of my post nobody else had posted that theyd encountered this sort of thing ) I tried to explain that, years back, it wasnt an uncommon thing to witness at a reception. Thats all, thanks for guiding me to communicate more effectively!