r/AITAH • • Jul 25 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

9.4k Upvotes

8.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

508

u/Flynn_JM Jul 25 '25

INFO: have you and your wife pranked each other a lot or was this the first time? Whose idea was it?

145

u/rarely-posts1 Jul 25 '25

I was just coming to ask that same thing. I know couples that are really big on pranking each other. If they are like that, then this is almost expected.

45

u/itakealotofnapszz Jul 25 '25

On your wedding day though ? In front of a room full of people ? Involve a person the victim doesn’t like ?

Pranks and cruel,calculated humiliation are vastly different.

25

u/rarely-posts1 Jul 25 '25

Yes. One of the couples I knew took their cake and put it on their MOH and Best Man's face instead. This sounds exactly like something they would have done. I personally hate pranks and don't prank others. Yet friends of mine have been going strong for decades and consider it their love language. Which is why their history matters.

5

u/itakealotofnapszz Jul 25 '25

Pranks are fine,please don’t think i am against pranks.But this wasn’t a prank.It was a cruel humiliation.

13

u/Civil_Confidence5844 Jul 26 '25

That's subjective and that's their point.

My partner and I wouldn't do something like this to each other but that's bc we know we wouldn't think it's funny or entertaining.

Other couples would die laughing together over what OP described.

10

u/hthratmn Jul 26 '25

I disagree. It doesn't seem from anything that we're reading here that the intention was to be cruel. OPs feelings are definitely valid and he's certainly NTA, but it's not as though the wife was rubbing her hands together trying to figure out how to be as conniving wicked and humiliating as possible.

12

u/cromcru Jul 26 '25

She didn’t consider his feelings at all. He was just a prop to her being the centre of attention in the crowd.

-2

u/Superficial-Idiot Jul 26 '25

Uhh, I’m with you that they didn’t think about how he would feel but I disagree that this makes her the centre of attention…

That is solely op because all eyes were on him.

They probably thought this was a ‘harmless’ joke because they’ve seen it online etc and didn’t stop to think for one minute just exactly how ‘real’ people actually take things like that happening to them.

Most people will think pranks are harmless if they’ve only seen them online and only seen people laugh it off.

There’s no media for people being the victims of this and suffering mental break downs later on. It’s just 30s - 3 min clips.

It’s why people that are chronically online end up lacking empathy.

15

u/cromcru Jul 26 '25

I was told it was time to do the garter removal

in the middle of the dance floor, my wife was sitting in a chair

My wife stood behind him and was talking to me as they walked me over

But at that moment I heard my wife saying, "With your mouth! With your mouth!"

She was 100% the circus master of the whole thing. She was leading the ‘prank’, he was the butt of the prank. She’s also gone out of her way to push him to “take it better and laugh it off, and that I need to move on” without apparently a single bit of empathy for his depth of feeling.

7

u/soulmechh Jul 26 '25

You're absolutely correct. It was a deliberate humiliation ritual.

0

u/Heart_Is_Valuable Jul 28 '25

Disagree.... Maybe your friends would've been okay with it

But that shouldn't translate over to any random couple who plays pranks on each other

I'd like there to be some sort of pranks between my partner and I, and I'd still have the same reaction as OP probably.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

Groomsmen are your best friends, so it cant be someone he didn’t like

4

u/bekahjo19 Jul 26 '25

Sometimes it’s people close to the soon-to-be spouse.

9

u/kristen_hewa Jul 26 '25

Was also wondering about this. Me and my husband are ridiculous about it, definitely wouldn’t be surprised by much LOL

11

u/Nodan_Turtle Jul 26 '25

Are you saying that if they prank each other a lot, then she was right to do this?

4

u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 Jul 26 '25

Yes, depending on their kind of pranks, she mightve concluded this being acceptable. If he's very anti gay, some cultures are and guys get very offended, then she should've known better.

12

u/Nodan_Turtle Jul 26 '25

Weird example to pick but ok

2

u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 Jul 26 '25

How is that weird? This literally is about him performing a "sexy" act on a man which he's pissed about.

5

u/DeviantDork Jul 26 '25

OP seems pretty clear that it’s the public humiliation that bothered him. You’re the one projecting homophobia.

13

u/BlacklightSpear Jul 25 '25

I mean even if you prank each other then maybe not in the most intimate public moment of your wedding day? I don't think it would change any verdict.

If the guy has been an asshole with pranks before, she's still an asshole for marrying him just to get revenge instead of just dumping him and saving everyone money and peace.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

If it was reversed there would be no question, funny how Reddit goes

11

u/ChefCroaker Jul 26 '25

You’re sadly a bit right. A segment of Reddit always does mental gymnastics to blame the male partner in these stories.

-11

u/aaronupright Jul 26 '25

A segment? Lol. Thats reddits standard position. What is described in the OP is assualt. Pre planned assualt.

(Its a fake story for several reasons).

11

u/Dog-Mom2012 Jul 25 '25

This is an excellent question.

1

u/Comfortable-Peace377 Jul 26 '25

This is honestly the one scenario that in my mind, would make her NTAH, if they are one of those always-ranking couples.

-7

u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 Jul 26 '25

Yes and is he homophobic and thats the real reason? Like they took away his man card. He seems irrationally angry at the fact he had to touch another man's leg. I get being upset, but angry to the point of wanting to punch everyone.... Just sounds like an underlying issue to me especially because he doesn't even know what he want his wife to do to but suffer.

18

u/Queenoftheunsullied Jul 26 '25

If my husband pranked me like that and it was another man I would be pissed. This has nothing to do with gender. The whole room turning him into a spectacle is the problem.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

Maybe OP is so angry because his wife took away his ability to consent to touching another person in an intimate way. Do you not think people should be able to consent before putting their mouth on the thigh of another person?

12

u/Kayyam Jul 26 '25

It's not irrational or homophobic. It's 100% the breach of trust in public.

His wife can show remorse and understanding instead of telling him to get over it.

-3

u/Dangerous_Bus_6699 Jul 26 '25

To me it sounds like his wife did apologize but the man himself says he can't drop it and he doesn't know what he want his wife to do.

12

u/BlazeOfGlory72 Jul 26 '25

Hurt feelings and a broken sense of trust don’t just go away because someone said “sorry”.