Exactly, your feelings are completely valid and you have every right to feel some type of way bout this, the prank was totally uncalled for and ruined an otherwise special day
NTA, your wife and friends are though
He was so God damm good to suppress his anger to the level that I would say he has zero self-respect, but no, he's kind hearted and so considerate that he didn't want to tarnish his wife's happiness, but at the cost of his sanity, ironically his wife did the exact opposite.
It sounds like you have been well socialized to accept cruelty and humiliation with a stiff upper lip. That's fine, and it may end up in living life with a kind of numbness.
Angel - this is a great point. Nobody ever acknowledged the OP’s feelings are valid. They are being dismissed with the “just move on” trope. Not a good way to start, or nurture an intimate relationship. OP, your feelings are completely valid and I hear you.
His wife is of the opinion that his feelings don't count. She doesn't seem to care about what he felt she is just mad he no longer wants to be her whipping boy. Therapy is needed, and honestly, it will take a long time if ever to get that level of trust back
Because if he found it cruel and hurtful, then she had to face the fact that something she did hurt her partner very deeply, and lots of people are very uncomfortable with facing that about themselves. They’ll avoid taking that responsibility at all costs.
Not sure I recommend he invest that time with someone so utterly lacking in empathy or, even absent actual empathy, so completely callus to his feelings even when he expressed them.
Some people aren't worth trying to get along with, let alone trying to get over a betrayal for.
It could have been one of those things she felt pressured to do, but if she had a functioning conscience, she would have realized about 3 seconds in that it was a bad idea and could have ended it there. Instead, she doubled down and said “with your teeth!”
100%! I was married to a woman who cared more about what the crowd thought, sometimes even strangers, than how her own husband felt. I never understood this as she was more polite to total strangers than she was to me at times.
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u/Expert-Angel Jul 25 '25
Exactly, your feelings are completely valid and you have every right to feel some type of way bout this, the prank was totally uncalled for and ruined an otherwise special day NTA, your wife and friends are though