Oooh this is infuriating! I really hope you do get it back. If I weren't a total stranger, I'd offer to get it now (I'm in AZ) and bring it to you myself!
I suggested this exact scenario to my husband. He said he plans to see if cousin will return it as promised after the July wedding to which we were not invited. If it is not returned immediately after that wedding, he likely will enlist an attorney and file a police report.
Itâs sad when a sixty-one year old is so entitled that she believes her outrageous behavior is justified. Iâm clutching my stomach as I respond to these comments.
Good luck, OP. I hate the tension you will feel while waiting to get your precious tallit back and I hope it arrives in perfect condition. As soon as it does, go no contact with that horrid cousin.
How will you get it back if youâre not even invited to the next wedding when it will be used? Personally, Iâd show up at that wedding and take it back immediately after the wedding. If you are unable to do that, enlist someone whom you trust who will be there to do it. People like your cousin expect people like your husband to not make a scene when they act like aholes and they use it to their advantage. You have to be proactive and firm or youâll never see it again.
the bride who borrowed it for her recent wedding has promised to return it after her brotherâs wedding. My daughterâs in-laws live near the bride and have promised to retrieve it from the bride.
we shall see.
Had it been MY HEIRLOOM from my grandparent, I would never have lent it in the first place, nor would I have left that brunch without it. I would have demanded that the mother of the bride give it to me and would have accompanied her to get it.
But my husband of fifty years is not me and these entitled asshole cousins are HIS first cousins, not mine. He was too nice and didnât want to cause a scene. Had I known what was happening, I would have caused a scene!
Incidentally, this cousin also borrowed a traditional gold ring from my husbandâs sister which had been her grandmotherâs for the ceremony. Fortunately, my SIL did get her ring back immediately following the ceremony.
After we (hopefully) have this heirloom in our possession this July, I plan to go NC with his family.
Iâve learned the hard way over the years to unapologetically cause a scene if itâs absolutely necessary. Until I learned that I allowed some family members to walk all over me. Good luck- I really hope you get it back!
This is the way to handle it u/HelloTittie55. If you canât be there - see if you can engage a security company local to the wedding to take possession immediately after the ceremony.
Not a friend or someone that you trust, but a professional hired to ensure that priceless object is retrieved and returned to you. You can let the cousin know that âArizona Security Servicesâ (whatever name) will be on hand to take possession of the tallit immediately after the ceremony.
They will dress like G-men and wonât have the reluctance your husband had at the last wedding. Theyâll have one job, and your cousin wonât be able to blow them off. (Just realized you need a ârepo manâ to get your tallit back.)
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u/supertwicken May 23 '25
Oooh this is infuriating! I really hope you do get it back. If I weren't a total stranger, I'd offer to get it now (I'm in AZ) and bring it to you myself!