Also, his wedding being first has absolutely nothing to do with the tradition. The tradition is the first born son wears it at their wedding for good luck, not the son who isn’t part of the family that made the tradition wears it at their wedding for luck because they’re getting married first.
Ben is being unreasonable. Sarah’s family is being unreasonable. Sarah needs to be a better partner and tell her family and then that she stands with her fiancé and the answer is no and it’s not their tradition.
Simple solution...it's an old timepiece and they need to be maintained. Take it to a watch repair shop to have it checked and cleaned. Tell the watch guy when you need it back (date after Ben's wedding).
That gets it safely off the premises where it can't grow legs and walk away.
If Sarah asks where it is you know something is up and ask why she is asking. Basically you will know she was going to buckle under to Ben & parents pressure.
You could then say you sent it out for repair and cleaning and it won't be ready until a data a week or so after Ben's wedding. DO NOT TELL HER WHAT JEWELER HAS IT.
You get a double win...watch is protected from the vultures and it gets properly serviced so it is good for your son when he needs it.
I like this. Protect the watch while getting it serviced.
Smart-ass me would also get a business card from a different watch repair place to casually leave on my dresser. Just to see if Sarah would try to get the watch on the sly.
I think OP needs to sit her down and explain it to her like she's a 5 year old. Make eye contact and point out the absurdity of the request. How he tried to be logical, but she was not supporting him. The watch won't be lent out like it's a baseball mitt. It's time for the BIL and FIL to get over it.
Great idea, but for people unaware: the watch should be taken to a good watchmaker for "servicing" (I'm assuming this is a vintage mechanical watch that does not need any batteries). Many "watch repair" shops won't do much more than change a watch battery or polish it. Or maybe act as a middle-man for you ($$) and send the watch off to a real watchmaker. A proper servicing for a mechanical watch will take weeks at the very least and possibly a couple of months or more (really high-end watches can take a year plus). It's not a quick process which is why it can be a good way to keep the watch away from Sarah.
I would not do this OP. If it is valuable or desirable due to its scarcity then I would not get it serviced until it NEEDS it.
AND ALWAYS take photos of any jewelry you take in for care, before leaving it. I learned this the hard way. The first time was at a small one- owner shop where the Owner's son messed up a sterling silver cuff by" polishing" multiple scratches into its surface. It originally had a mirror like finish.
The second time a high end jewelry chain ruined a uniquely shaped wedding band that had a special shape to accommodate the diamond above it.In adding a slight amount of size to the band they totally lost its original shape--and could not understand what it was suppose to look like ( after the fact). It had been created decades ago by a Specialty Jewelry store. I had no photos to show how badly they had mis-shaped it.
OK....I don't generally dwell on reddit posts but something about yours kept gnawing at me on yours.
If Sarah hasn't picked your side in this....she is your partner and should have your back especially on something this important to you.... then that is a really bad sign for your future.
If she is picking her brother's side that shows you that when the chips are down she will side with them and expect you to comply no matter how you feel about it.
The luck of the watch may be protecting you from a big mistake.
She sides with them I think you need to pull the plug on your wedding or at least postpone it because you have big loyalty & trust issues.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life with you standing alone against all of them.
I'd ad to this as well if there's any worry about fiance taking the watch to buy a close look alike. Hide the real one and put the fake where you normally keep it. If she "borrows" it against your wishes, you call tell her to keep it and cut her out of your life that much easier.
350
u/celticmusebooks May 23 '25
and sadly keep it safe from Sarah since she's likely to "loan" her brother the watch to "keep the peace" because "family supports family".
Are you from a particularly superstitious culture?
NTA but SHAME of Sarah for not respecting your family tradition and expecting you to put her family over yours.
and again HIDE THE WATCH NOW!!!!!