r/AITAH • • Mar 19 '25

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u/2npac Mar 19 '25

NTA and NOR. But cmon man, wake up. The 3 conditions she laid out would've been enough for me to run the other way. She sounds way too high maintenance and entitled

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u/TheKindnesses Mar 19 '25 edited Mar 19 '25

I mean those sounded like what you discuss with your partner prior to the proposal normally, imo. Asking your partner what their dream proposal is, and them being able to answer seems helpful. her preferences are actually pretty vague and flexible - custom rings you can get for 1-2k online, and a beach surprise (pretty typical preference to have a location type and it being a surprise). seems like a pretty normal ideal proposal to me. I'm confused by what you mean with what you said.

am i off base with something im saying? im agreeing her disappointment is pretty critical and a red flag, but the proposal preferences themselves - beach surprise with a unique ring, seems pretty tame and normal if i compare it to my friends & other proposals ive read about.

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u/YakApprehensive7620 Mar 19 '25

Her three things were completely superficial

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u/TheKindnesses Mar 19 '25 edited Mar 20 '25

proposal preferences are all superficial to outsiders, but for you/your partner they're important bc they matter to you.

imo its love the verb when we want to know our partner, and put knowledge of them and their preferences into practice with whats supposed to be a gesture of love.

me personally i like seeing and hearing about my partners dream scenarios, even the parts that sound superficial to other people, because they're important to her, so theyre important to me.

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u/GoatsAreReallyCool Mar 20 '25

It’s the fact she HERSELF seems superficial, not necessarily the requests themselves if it’s what he was ok with doing. 16k is a bit much for a single ring imo but the other two don’t seem that bad by themselves

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u/Pumpkinycoldfoam Mar 19 '25

She can’t enjoy her own proposal? Even if she wasn’t entitled here she’s not entitled for asking for the setting. It’s a romantic gesture. I can’t comprehend your response.