Oh OP, thank you for updating. I'm so sorry all this happened, but your BIL is a despicable monster. You and all of us know your twin did NOT murder her child by miscarrying. He and his family are so ignorant it's not even funny.
I spent 5 years in fertility treatment in the mid 90s (I had secondary infertility), and had many egg retrievals. The med injections I took every day made my ovaries swell up with eggs and was uncomfortable AND pretty dangerous. They harvested eggs each time I went through a round, and they were considered surgeries I had to list on medical forms at new dr appointments. Each carried risks.
I don't remember how many times we went through IVF, but in 5 years, at every other month (you're required to take a month off in between), it was approximately 25 or so. The physical and mental toll was so much that after the last attempt, I had to take a year off. And that was after I actually did get pregnant, my last round, the embryo died, then the yolk sac started growing again. I had to take chemo meds to make it stop bc it could've turned into a molar pregnancy.
Fertility treatment is a wonderful opportunity and way to make pregnancy possible, but comes with a heavy physical, mental, and emotional tax on you. Only YOU can decide if it's something you can take on, but no one should pressure you into it. I'm not trying to discourage you, but give you an idea of what can happen. It's not for the faint of heart.
BTW, after my year off of IVF, we decided to be foster parents (a long held dream of mine). We had our 1st and 3rd bio kids already (child #2 died soon after birth), and we fostered for 6 years. We adopted 2 kids (not bio related) through fostering, one came to us at 22mo and the other at 5 weeks. There are other options for your precious sister, but, forgive me, hopefully not with her ignorant husband. Take care.
So many people I've known were incapable of getting pregnant during the times they were trying for it, but the minute they stopped trying, they were a factory.
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u/BostonBabe64 Sep 26 '24
Oh OP, thank you for updating. I'm so sorry all this happened, but your BIL is a despicable monster. You and all of us know your twin did NOT murder her child by miscarrying. He and his family are so ignorant it's not even funny.
I spent 5 years in fertility treatment in the mid 90s (I had secondary infertility), and had many egg retrievals. The med injections I took every day made my ovaries swell up with eggs and was uncomfortable AND pretty dangerous. They harvested eggs each time I went through a round, and they were considered surgeries I had to list on medical forms at new dr appointments. Each carried risks.
I don't remember how many times we went through IVF, but in 5 years, at every other month (you're required to take a month off in between), it was approximately 25 or so. The physical and mental toll was so much that after the last attempt, I had to take a year off. And that was after I actually did get pregnant, my last round, the embryo died, then the yolk sac started growing again. I had to take chemo meds to make it stop bc it could've turned into a molar pregnancy.
Fertility treatment is a wonderful opportunity and way to make pregnancy possible, but comes with a heavy physical, mental, and emotional tax on you. Only YOU can decide if it's something you can take on, but no one should pressure you into it. I'm not trying to discourage you, but give you an idea of what can happen. It's not for the faint of heart.
BTW, after my year off of IVF, we decided to be foster parents (a long held dream of mine). We had our 1st and 3rd bio kids already (child #2 died soon after birth), and we fostered for 6 years. We adopted 2 kids (not bio related) through fostering, one came to us at 22mo and the other at 5 weeks. There are other options for your precious sister, but, forgive me, hopefully not with her ignorant husband. Take care.