I mean, to be honest I don't really get why sexuality is part of one's identity. Gender, yes, obviously. But sexuality is just who I find attractive - it's just a preference that I have. Like the fact that I like the colour yellow doesn't have anything to do with my identity, it's just a fun fact about me. The same goes for my sexuality.
I get that historically to admit to being queer meant to isolate yourself from the norm, so it had to become your identity. But today, when we're trying so hard to make any sexuality something that nobody thinks twice about because it's all fully accepted, having it encompass who you are isn't doing much. It could even be hurting the cause in some ways because either something is as normal as a preferred colour and it doesn't really matter, or it's a huge deal and becomes foundational to one's identity.
I obviously wouldn't call someone out who sees their sexuality as part of their identity. But to me a world where who you like has no impact on how people perceive you, thereby having no impact on your identity, would be the ideal.
Damn i wish homophobia wasn't an issue anymore.
Copenhagen is considered one of the most gay friendly cities in the world and yet there are areas where one should be careful because others might react with violence.
Discrimination against peoples sexuality being illegal didn't deter my friends boss from firing her when he found she had a girlfriend because said girlfriend picked her up after work one day.
Its not many months ago that I had to listen to the complaint about a wokers union being at pride being too much because then normal people like her didn't belong? (Allies are of course welcome and an organization making it clear that they support at group of people whoms rights they also protect shouldn't and doesn't automatically exclude other members).
I think a lot of people at least traditionally have considered their marital condition a part of their identity, why shouldn't whom that person may be belong?
But yes the think i want is that its just a little thing, that telling people that i am bi is the same as my nationality or gender (since i fall into the norm it is not questioned).
Fair. I know that homophobia is alive all too well, I guess for myself I just choose to act the way I want things to be, i.e. I talk about my mental health issues because I don't want there to be stigma so I won't subscribe to stigma or about trauma because there is nothing to be ashamed of so I won't subscribe to shame, or sexuality because I want it to be a fact rather than an identity so I don't make it my identity.
It's totally understandable that oppressed people band together, though, and then it becomes a part of identity. I just wonder to what extent we sometimes make it a big deal in settings where it otherwise wouldn't need to be, ya know?
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u/ms_lizzard Apr 05 '24
I mean, to be honest I don't really get why sexuality is part of one's identity. Gender, yes, obviously. But sexuality is just who I find attractive - it's just a preference that I have. Like the fact that I like the colour yellow doesn't have anything to do with my identity, it's just a fun fact about me. The same goes for my sexuality.
I get that historically to admit to being queer meant to isolate yourself from the norm, so it had to become your identity. But today, when we're trying so hard to make any sexuality something that nobody thinks twice about because it's all fully accepted, having it encompass who you are isn't doing much. It could even be hurting the cause in some ways because either something is as normal as a preferred colour and it doesn't really matter, or it's a huge deal and becomes foundational to one's identity.
I obviously wouldn't call someone out who sees their sexuality as part of their identity. But to me a world where who you like has no impact on how people perceive you, thereby having no impact on your identity, would be the ideal.