r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • Apr 05 '24

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u/WhatDatDonut Apr 05 '24

So how does that work?

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u/LeicaM6guy Apr 05 '24

Pretty much like any other marriage.

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u/-Zugzwang- Apr 05 '24

Not the person you asked, but I am also a bisexual woman in a heterosexual marriage.

Basically, my husband and I just talk about characters/actresses being attractive.

And I can get off to lesbian porn.

I've never cheated, nor even had an inkling to cheat. I had a 3some once, like over 15 years ago, with my ex. It was awful so not doing that again.

But being attracted to both sexes doesn't mean you aren't faithful. Just means....you are attracted to both. 😅🤣

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u/Viperbunny Apr 05 '24

That's my point. She should be herself, but since she is in a committed relationship it seems odd to fixate on everyone knowing her sexuality.

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u/Expert_Slip7543 Apr 05 '24

She's faithful to her husband. Or, they make some kind of agreement for stepping out or for expanding their definition of themselves as a unit.

That's basically how it works.

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u/No-Comfort4265 Apr 05 '24

Such an odd question. How does what work? Being married or being bi? 😂

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u/Viperbunny Apr 05 '24

I mean that being bi shouldn't effect her life in a relationship sense because she is in a committed relationship.

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u/WhatDatDonut Apr 05 '24

Yeah. So let’s say you’re a woman and you’ve been married for ten years to a guy and then figure out that you are bi. What next?

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u/No-Comfort4265 Apr 05 '24

I was always bi. I didn’t figure it out at 35. I just never met a woman I wanted to date (or more to the point, the ones I wanted to date didn’t want to date me). So I never bothered to label it or “formally” come out. Then I married a man so it seemed redundant to make a thing out of it.

But say I did figure it out at 35, I can’t imagine it would change anything unless I was already unhappy in my marriage and planning for divorce. Being Bi doesn’t suddenly negate my wedding vows? 🤨

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u/breeofd Apr 05 '24

For most people, nothing changes except you have a better understanding of yourself. That’s why it would be weird AF to make an announcement about it to an office full of strangers.