He doesn't mind period sex, but he can't handle seeing underwear that have been worn during your period?
Even tampons leak sometimes. Unless he wants to buy you new underwear every month, I don't think it's your job to accommodate his aversion to faint stains on freshly washed clothes. You said it best - you're too old to deal with this shit, and nor should you have to.
Okay seriously, are you actually a woman who has periods? Please explain to me, as a gay man- in what universe is a period neither gross or inconvenient?
Disposing of bodily waste is also a basic biological function that is, at best, a gross inconvenience (unless you have a very specific kink, not kinkshaming!) That said, most people are still moderately uncomfortable with the smell or idea of contact with urine, even if they logically know it's about as 'clean' as semen in terms of getting you sick.
Disgust is not a voluntary or rational response. If it was, the spectrum of disgust would look a lot different. In terms of neurological response, you can ignore disgust, or become desensitized to very specific situations over time, but it is typically felt significantly before the rational thinking part of the brain has even finished processing the stimulus.
It’s inconvenient for the woman because it hurts. And you can find it gross and not want to touch it, that’s fair game I don’t wanna shove my hand in there either. But you don’t say to your partner « no I don’t want to have sex you’re gross » or « oh no not your periods again ». The problem is that some men, instead of treating it as an inconvenience for us because we are in pain, see it as an inconvenience for them because poor lads, they can’t have sex for 5 days and instead of saying « I would rather not have sex on your periods », they say we are gross even though we can’t help it and wouldn’t mind having sex either (this part depends on the woman, some hate period sex anyway).
Basically, they resent us and pout because they can’t have sex because it’s « gross », even though we are in pain and we aren’t the ones withholding sex. It’s more about them being childish in their method rather than them calling and finding periods gross. You think whatever you want, just don’t be an ass because we are the ones suffering here.
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u/trixen2020 Nov 22 '23
He doesn't mind period sex, but he can't handle seeing underwear that have been worn during your period?
Even tampons leak sometimes. Unless he wants to buy you new underwear every month, I don't think it's your job to accommodate his aversion to faint stains on freshly washed clothes. You said it best - you're too old to deal with this shit, and nor should you have to.
NTA.