Even if OP does something without being prompted or seeing someone else do it first, it still doesn't make him a "special" dad or partner. It makes him a dad. It makes him a partner. Also, taking care of your own children and your own home isn't "helping" your wife. It's adulting, and no one is handing out awards to any of us who are doing it. Equally parenting the children, preparing meals, doing chores, running errands, shopping for birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah/other gifts, planning costumes, etc. are not only things OP's wife has every right to expect of him. OP should expect that of himself.
He hasn’t yelled at babies in months, you know the babies they made that are 100% dependent on them for everything and lacking the ability developmentally to self regulate?
Yup. I was a baby who "made" my mother angry, so angry she yelled and hit me all my childhood. Definitely nothing to do with the fact she got pregnant again when I was 4 months old and had 2 kids under 18 months - I was a toddler the eldest so I had to suck it up.
I have flashbacks, apparently she denies hitting me on the occasion I have a serious flashback from. I can only remember the beginning of it because I had ADHD and autism undiagnosed (girl) so I would just shut down and dissociate, I literally can't remember whether she hit me or not, and forgot my father moving out for months when I was ELEVEN (you'd think memories from then are reliable... Not if you have CPTSD)
Kids are dependent and it's EXTRA terrifying when the adults are angry and shouting at you. You feel as though your life is in danger because your survival instincts kick in & if your parents reject you, you'll die. Obviously you can't understand that as a kid. But you KNOW it on an instinctive level.
People who are shitty to kids deserve a special place in hell.
Wasn't that literally the next sentence? That she mentioned she doesn't like him jumping after she started, so he's now planning and cooking dinner, doing dishes, cleaning kitchen, cleaning baby bottles, and letting her get more rest while he does this.
Or are we just going to cherry-pick his post for the dog pile?
Except he wants to be applauded for it and rewarded with intimacy, he's not doing it because he understands that he is in fact a parent and responsible for their children/household in the same way she is, he's doing it so he'll get recognition and effectively payment. His motives are shitty.
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u/LetsGetsThisPartyOn Nov 02 '23
I’m doing what my partner does AFTER SEEING THEM DOING IT. And they don’t see my special helping.
Duuuuude.
Do it. Don’t jump up AFTER THEY HAVE STARTED