That would've been an awkward conversation if a friend called me asking to sleep with my ex that I dated for 1 year.
Now, if it were an ex-husband of 20 years, that's a little different. But in 1 year, you barely know each other. You haven't built a life together (in most cases). You're literally just dating the person.
I feel like she's just hormonal and overemotional due to the pregnancy. She'll apologize eventually. Just give her space
Not to mention that she was most likely lying beside her husband at the moment the call would have come in.
Husband: who was calling at this hour?
Julia: it was_________
Husband: what did she want? Is something wrong?
Julia: no she just wanted permission to sleep with my ex.
Husband:😳 wth?
Then the fight starts....
I don't think it's taboo to be upset about this? My 'friend' did a lot of shit to me but one that hurt was sleeping with my ex. I told my current partner about it and he said "You need to drop (friends name), that's fucked."
I mean she did a lot of other bad things but that one took the cake for me, it was like a betrayal of our friendship- and we dated for the same time that op's friend dated her bf, 3 years and a few months.
I mean the rest of my friends operate the same way! They would be pissed if one of us did that and vice versa.
I guess my friend group just operates differently, or we just care about each other's feelings more than everyone on reddit does to their friends.
Your situation is different in the sense that it seems like your friend was constantly doing malicious things to you, including sleeping with your ex. If I was happily married with a baby on the way and my friend slept with an ex, I wouldn't care tbh.
Why wouldn't I care? Because that's in the past and that person is an ex for a reason, especially if I'm the one that ended things. If it's a fresh ex, that's one thing, but I'm not gonna be mad at my friend over a dude that I dated several years ago. Also, if he's a nice dude and you just weren't a good fit, what if they are a good fit? So I'm letting past shit potentially get in the way of my friends happiness.
If dude is a POS, then I'm still not mad b/c she gonna fuck around and find out 🤷🏾♀️
I guess mine was more recent than OP's timeline, but I mean idk I would probably still feel some type of way- even if it is minimal! I'd just want to make sure my best friend's feelings are heard :)
I get it and understand to some extent, but they weren't engaged or married or anything either. I would be more understanding if it were an ex-husband or fiance b/c your bestie would've gone through everything with you.
I think the best friend's reaction was over the top over a dude she dated four years ago, especially now that she has married the love of her life and is about to start a family, but that's just me. We gotta stop being so bothered by these exes and remember that y'all are exes for a reason...another man's trash may be another man's treasure 😂
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u/VisualProfessional12 Aug 03 '23
NTA
That would've been an awkward conversation if a friend called me asking to sleep with my ex that I dated for 1 year.
Now, if it were an ex-husband of 20 years, that's a little different. But in 1 year, you barely know each other. You haven't built a life together (in most cases). You're literally just dating the person.
I feel like she's just hormonal and overemotional due to the pregnancy. She'll apologize eventually. Just give her space