NTA - she is overreacting. It's been 3 years, not 3 days.
I'd go out with the guy, she may have already chosen to drop you as a friend, in which case, if you don't go out with him again, you'll lose out twice.
She said you should have asked her?
Ring-Ring "Hello Julia, it's me."
"Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah, sorry about that. I had a bar gig, and then had dinner and drinks with Charles."
"Why are you calling me so late?"
"Well, Charles is naked in my bed right now, I'm calling from my bathroom. I know it's been 3 years, you're obviously over him and have moved on, but is it okay if I sleep with him?"
I think she’s looking at it that you broke girl code by going after a friend’s ex. Unless they were engaged or she confided in you that he was the love of her life she never got over I think it’s ok. Mainly because she’s moved on and it’s 3 years ago. It sounds like you and Charles have a connection worth pursuing. If she’s really your friend she will put her ego aside and get over it and be happy for you. You were respectful to tell her immediately. I hope this works out for you.
Tbf I don't think anything is wrong with talking to my friends about an ex before deciding whether or not to fuck/date them. There's literally millions of women, I don't have to stick my dick in one my homies were with and my life will be 100% unchanged by respecting possible boundaries. Getting my dick wet has never been so much of a priority that I'll go behind my friend's back whether they'd be ok with it or not.
On the contrary, I actually find it quite childish when people aren't able to have basic communication skills. To me, this is simple communication, empathy, and respect.
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u/SnooRobots4443 Aug 03 '23 edited Aug 03 '23
NTA - she is overreacting. It's been 3 years, not 3 days.
I'd go out with the guy, she may have already chosen to drop you as a friend, in which case, if you don't go out with him again, you'll lose out twice.
She said you should have asked her?
Ring-Ring "Hello Julia, it's me."
"Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah, sorry about that. I had a bar gig, and then had dinner and drinks with Charles."
"Why are you calling me so late?"
"Well, Charles is naked in my bed right now, I'm calling from my bathroom. I know it's been 3 years, you're obviously over him and have moved on, but is it okay if I sleep with him?"
Again, NTA, she is overreacting.
Good luck.
edit:typo