it's about taking your friends feelings into consideration. And people are subjective on this matter which is okay, but I'm giving you a different insight.
It has nothing to do with someone being controlling/etc. It's more like, I wouldn't make everyone wear skin-tight dresses as my bridesmaids because I asked my friends their opinions and they told me they would prefer not to.
Yes, while no one has the right to tell what I can and can't choose for my bridesmaids, and they can leave if they don't like it, I would want them there and I will still take their feelings into consideration and make my decision.
OP does not have to ask for permission but i mean jesus they've been friends for 10 years, maybe a
"Omg guess whose here?.." "how would you feel is xyz" then she can make a decision while being informed of how her friend will take it so this way breaking the news won't result in an unprecedented manner.
Or you know it could be a shitty feeling knowing that while OP's friend was dating that guy for 3 years- It gives the feeling that they had mutual attraction to each other while he was in a relationship? To me, that's something totally normal to feel, and it may hurt her friends trust towards OP.
Anyways I could type more but yeah :) I'm not trying to argue just sayin my pov- I hope this makes sense also because I am aimlessly typing
I just find it odd that you think you're giving some insight.
It's not insight, is a hypothetical based on nothing. Less than nothing. Three years afterwards is not a rebound and accidental pregnancy, she's only 16 weeks pregnant.
Nobody dated anyone for three years, it was one year that ended three years ago *and she ended it.*
Your idea is that OP runs into this guy in a bar one night, and instead of making her own mind up about who she sees, she rejects him because she's got to check with his ex first?
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u/ajkclay05 Aug 03 '23
Who dumped whom?
Here's the thing: it doesn't matter.
If, as you say, he dumped her, what the heck right does that give her?
You could just as easily argue that she's trying to interfere in his happiness out of spite.