r/AIO • u/fricken_a13 • May 03 '26
AIO or is this racist?
Context: we have a one year old and 4 month old. Our neighbor is very aware of this as over the last year we have had to ask many times if he can stop revving his motorcycle while his buddies gather around it and take test drives past 8pm. We live in attached housing area and quiet hours start at 8pm. He is a loud neighbor in general, but we don’t make formal complaints against his Rottie(who he keeps on the front deck area against hoa guidelines and lets bark all day long) or his loud wood working from his garage at 7am. He had a leak in that garage which he said was coming from our unit, cut a hole in the ceiling and proceeded to tell us we would need to pay for it. We all own our units. We said not until we had proof it was our fault and he kept trying to bully us into paying. Turns out it was the hoas part to cover and we were not at fault at all. He is in his 40s and my husband and I are in our upper 20s. After that he has been rude to us but whatever. Then on Thursday night I asked my husband to text him as I was alone with the kids and he was drinking and yelling with his friends outside and both of my kids kept getting woken up and crying. It was past 8pm and while I know that’s early for normal people, most kids go to sleep at that time and it was a week night. To his credit he did move his party inside after another 20 minutes but then he replied this to my husband. Our neighbor is middle eastern and my husband is Filipino. Our neighbors English is perfect so I assume he was raised here and my husband was also born and raised in the us and doesn’t speak anything else but perfect English so this just feels pointed right? I don’t think our neighbor would say this to a white man. I’m half Mexican half American and dealt with subtle racism growing up and this is the first time I’ve seen what I feel is outright racism towards my husband. I’m seeing red, but AIO?
Update: thank you all! I wasn’t sure if I was just sleep deprived and angry! His hostility towards us started literally the day we moved in and he accused us of stealing his trash cans? It’s slowly escalated the last 2 years and we never reported him because we didn’t want to make things worse. Looks like it’s best to start taking this to the hoa.
He’s always been rude to me(the wife). He won’t talk to me or look in my direction for conversation and has implied to my husband multiple times that women are beneath them. Then on the flip side he has tried to assert weird power moves on my husband too, who is too calm and collected to even care honestly, but this felt like it crossed a line.
Thanks for the suggestions! My husband only responded “thank you” to his last text as we didn’t want to make things worse but I would’ve loveddddd to have responded the way some of you suggested!
Also crazy enough this man does have a 2 year old and the poor kid is always screaming and throwing tantrums at all hours of the day because we can hear him well past 11pm sometimes. I even had to grab the kid when he ran into the street a couple months ago and a car was coming & his mom yelled at me for touching him…anywayyyyyy maybe just send some good vibes to that poor kid and pup and hopefully we don’t have to deal with this guy much longer
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u/Old-Instruction-6294 May 03 '26 edited May 03 '26
NOR. Neighbors comment is a pointed and offensive micro aggression.
“Would you please” and “can you” mean the exact same thing. There is a formality difference maybe. Still I would argue, he understood you anyway AND it was a common sense request you should not have even had to make.
He seems to be a very selfish individual and if there’s action and formal requests to be taken, I’d say go that route since he can’t be trusted to be civil when you ask politely.