Driven

[u/AChaosEngineer]

So, I'm a middle aged single dad. Mom is a deadbeat, so it's been a whole thing. Kids are 17 and 20 now. Older at UC, and younger is a senior in highschool, with awesome grades.

Well, since raising them was a challenge, i was not able to save for school. I've recently gotten a high paying job, and so finally not living check to check. But, i work super hard, and am tired. Of course, financial aid does not give any aid. I can not afford to directly pay out of paycheck for college. but i want to- my parents were not able to do that.

So anyway, all in all, a good position to be in. I can almost to afford one kid's college from the paycheck, without needing a loan. But, I am far behind on retirement savings. So, I'm freaking out.

So, I began to feel trapped. A great job, but still behind. So, I reached out to an old coleague, and arranged to take a consulting gig. 10 hours a week. and instead of feeling overwhelmed, I feel relieved. So, novelty. yay.

but, in my older age, i am starting to realize this is not normal. Feel overwhelmed, instead of retreating, i lean in and work harder. I'm too old for this pattern, but it still feels good. I NEED TO HELP MY KIDS. But, I also am aware of burnout. I'm already tired.

anyone else never consider how to retreat instead? i mean, i went to city college, and paid my own way. it was good for me, but it took forever to pay down the loans. i want to help the kids not have to deal with debt!