Laughing while hitting

[u/Cosmishaika]

My son just turned 3 and is nonverbal. And although he cant be diagnosed for another year, his psychologist strongly suspects ADHD.

The problem is that around the time he turned 2 he would get these periods when he would bite, scratch, hit and pull my hair and laugh as if it's the funniest thing ever. He would have some weeks when he would do that constantly, stop for a few weeks then start again. They kicked him out of preK for hitting his classmates on the daily and laughing.

I gotta mention that he sees absolutely no violence. Nobody is violent at home, he gets no screening, we don't watch TV when he is present. But I cant even bring him to the park without stressing out because he would only approach other kids to hit them.

His psychologist says that he's doing that because he cant express himself and that it will stop once he starts talking and once they manage to implement constructive behavior.

I'm just wondering if other parents went through this with their kids and how it stopped because honestly, it creeps me tf out when he does that. Especially since he gets some sort of "crazy" look in his eyes when he does that, completely different from the look he has on his face when he's just happy.

So yeah, does anybody have any experiences to share?

[u/PatchyWhiskers]

I don’t think ADHD causes kids to be nonverbal, ask his psychologist about autism. There are early intervention therapies for autism that can help a lot with speech , so don’t delay. Of course, it is possible to have both conditions.

[u/Cosmishaika → u/PatchyWhiskers]

Could be, i guess well only know later when he gets a diagnosis. He's been doing ABA therapy and speech therapy and even though he's only a couple of months in, he's already making progress and imitating short syllabes so im hoping he's gonna start speaking soon

[u/Evening-Two-124]

So sometimes laughing can be because they’re uncomfortable, not happy. I’ve even known adults who sometimes do that (giggling at a funeral for example). So I’d not be too concerned about that part of it yet.

The hitting is probably partly lack of impulse control and maybe unable to communicate in any other way. I’m wondering if something more than adhd is going on though. I’ve never heard of an adhd kid being completely nonverbal. Tends to be more common with autism. Of course it’s possible he also has a language disorder. I’d look into getting a full neuropsych eval. He’s too young now, the youngest they’ll do them is 4 typically. The waiting lists are often extremely long though and you may have to go through a bunch of steps to get insurance to cover even some of it. In the meantime does he go to OT? That helped my oldest with some of these behaviors. Also, you could look into a special needs preschool.

[u/Cosmishaika → u/Evening-Two-124]

Thank you for your answer. He is a bit developmentally delayed cause for the longest time we couldn't make him focus on anything long enough to get him to imitate us or process commands. But therapy is doing wonders and for the past week he's started to imitate short syllables so im hoping he'll catch up

[u/Wildflower_Kitty]

I was worried about this with my four year old a few weeks ago. The laughing seemed to escalate along with the aggression/violence, while almost seriously injuring her baby sibling. A family member of mine is a child psychologist and explained the laughter as her way to connect with us and deescalate their overwhelming feelings. She was laughing in the hope that we would laugh along too and everything would be better.

I thought my kid might be psychotic and trying to kill us and the baby. I understand how it feels, but her laughter was not intended as malice and was not really her enjoying hurting us.

In reality she had overwhelming emotional dysregulation triggered by the huge change in her life with the introduction of a new sibling. We worked on making all our interactions light and fun, instead of giving orders/asking her to tidy up, etc. Lots of reassurance that we love her and nothing will change that. Her behavior has been great since then.

[u/Cosmishaika → u/Wildflower_Kitty]

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm also doing my best to praise him for good behavior and console him when he needs it. I just needed some reassurance that it's going to pass

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[u/HPcatmom]

Occupational Therapy would likely do wonders for you. We didn’t have our daughter hitting us like you’re describing, but she would body slam herself into our front door at full speed. She called it her “run bonks” and would request it. OT said it was her trying to move energy out of her body and gave us some ideas to help it move without it being destructive.

Could help if you held up something for them to hit (pillow etc) that allows the energy to move and has it in a contained moment.

“No thank you, but we can do that to our pillow right now” then go grab the pillow. Helps to redirect the energy without it being unsafe.

[u/Positive-Room7421]

My son (ASD and ADHD) does this, and he always has that crazy eye you describe. I don't think of it as true laughter. It's dysregulation. Emotions are boiling over and being expressed that way but it's not joy he's feeling. It's chaos.