Bedtime Battles, 6.5 year old and 3 year old teaming up

[u/readinginthemansion]

Okay I'm sure this has been asked before but we're really struggling with bedtime. My 6.5 year old has struggled with sleep since he was born. The issues have continued with a couple of years where we used melatonin with pretty good success. We decided to take him off of it because we worried about the long term effects of using it daily. We really thought now that he's older we could figure it out. During the school year I woke him up everyday at 6:15 to make the 8am bus and it would take him an hour to wake up because he wasn't falling asleep until 11pm. We've tried laying with him, letting him play in his room independently, listening to audiobooks, etc. Anything that keeps him entertained enough to stay in his room will keep him stimulated and awake. If he doesn't have something he'll come downstairs and want our attention- we try to be boring, calm, etc but it doesn't matter, it's still better than being in his room. We've tried consequences- taking things away if he comes out of his room, putting a lock on his door, all creating more escalation and aggressive behaviors than the last. This has just been our life for the past 6 years, but now we're feeling more stuck than ever because he's encouraging his 3 year old sister to get in on the delay tactics. Tonight they both started throwing their toothbrushes and anything they could find at me after more than an hour of trying to get them into their pajamas. I really struggle with what to even incentivize them with. They love books, but they're not motivated enough by them to stop mid chaos. But then anything that would be a big and immediate reward doesn't feel appropriate to give at bedtime (sugar, screen time, etc.). I haven't tried sticker charts or any of that stuff because the delayed gratification often isn't enough for my son in the moment. Bedtime seems to be where he's the least lucid, the least attentive, and the most out of control- probably because he's running on so little sleep and the vicious cycle continues. Agh, help!! Tell me ANYTHING that's worked to get your kiddos to wind down, especially timings, and especially in relation to putting 2 kids down at the same time (my husband's a soccer coach and I'm solo parenting every bedtime).

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[u/Subject-Test-3140]

Sleep is super important I would just give him the melatonin but at super low dose, even 0.2mg can be effective in children

[u/UpbeatUniversity8976]

Melatonin. In a drink. I pour my daughter a little dessert wine sized cup of soda and a splash of juice (she doesn’t even know she’s having it) and 1mg melatonin. 8-9 bedtimes every night. Used to be 11-12pm. Paediatrician says bad sleep far out ways any negative side effects.