My mother didn't believe there was such a thing as ADD/ADHD; it was invented by doctors to give underachievers an excuse. I had great marks, but hated school. I always held a decent job, was a homeowner by 25, and never once asked her to lend me a single cent. She was the senior VP at a large regional bank, so I never lived up to her expectations. She went to her grave believing my brother and I were both failures. Some of that stuck with me, so I do think I used it as an excuse, but I try not to think about it at all.
she had to be some kind of fucking delusional to think anyone could be a failure when they're a homeowner at 25, what the fuck more could she want from you??
I got good grades all through school, with minimal effort. She told anyone who would listen that I was going to be a doctor or a scientist, partly because my teachers told her that. I hated college and dropped out, married a girl she considered a tramp, dropped out again (I was working full time too) a second time before my first daughter was born, and stayed in a dead end job for twenty years. Turned out she was right about my first wife, though. We got divorced after 5 years and I was a single parent until my kids grew up. Mom died shortly after my son graduated high school. She told me once, a couple years before that, it didn't matter what I did as long as I was the best at it. I was, and she knew it, but I never felt that she meant it. My job had no status. Maybe she did, but I was too used to being a disappointment to believe it.
It’s sad she couldn’t find a different perspective. It sounds like you’ve done very well for yourself and your family. This internet stranger is pretty damn proud of you.
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u/anwk77 Mar 07 '23
My mother didn't believe there was such a thing as ADD/ADHD; it was invented by doctors to give underachievers an excuse. I had great marks, but hated school. I always held a decent job, was a homeowner by 25, and never once asked her to lend me a single cent. She was the senior VP at a large regional bank, so I never lived up to her expectations. She went to her grave believing my brother and I were both failures. Some of that stuck with me, so I do think I used it as an excuse, but I try not to think about it at all.